buslady003 Posted December 18, 2014 Report Share Posted December 18, 2014 I love this forum and I have learned so much from each and everyone that has helped me along the way. I have not been on here much, but I do read every day. I lost my husband of 56 years in April, and I am having a very hard time of getting over it. He died from cancer of the lungs. He had been going to the doctor for the past year, because he did not feel well. They had run every test on him that they could think of, and the only thing they could come up with was COPD. He had developed pneumonia and they decided to send him to the hospital. While he was there, they discovered fluid on the lungs, between the lungs and the lung lining. They had it tested, and it was stage 4 cancer. He only lived for 18 days after this. We(he, me, and our kids) chose to use hospice, because he was not well enough to take any kind of treatment. Hospice was the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. The kids and I were with him when he passed peacefully into his heavenly home. We held hands, prayed, and sang amazing grace to him. He had an amazing turnout of people at his funeral that we did not expect. He had no enemies, and seemed to be loved by everyone that knew him. I am hoping that by talking about this that I will be able to start healing my broken heart. I do thank God for the 56 years that we had together, and I know that I will see him again on the other side. Thank you for listening. Shirley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LisaC Posted December 18, 2014 Report Share Posted December 18, 2014 Shirley, my sincere condolences on your loss. I will keep you in my prayers. Quilting and forum friends are good therapy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Primitive1 Posted December 18, 2014 Report Share Posted December 18, 2014 Oh Shirley, I am so sorry for the loss of your husband....to echo Lisa, you will be in my prayers too.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bonnie H Posted December 18, 2014 Report Share Posted December 18, 2014 Shirley, I'm so sorry for you and your family for the loss of your husband. I know the holidays must be hard. I hope your kids are close by to support and comfort you. You were blessed by such an amazing man for 56 years. May God continue to bless you and comfort you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeidiP Posted December 18, 2014 Report Share Posted December 18, 2014 Shirley, I am so sorry for your loss and will keep you in my prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WW Quilter Posted December 18, 2014 Report Share Posted December 18, 2014 Shirley, my heart aches for you for your loss. Sounds like he was a wonderful man. Hopefully, the many memories you shared and the support of your family will comfort you. We lost my mom this past August, and my dad is struggling also. God bless you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheri Butler Posted December 18, 2014 Report Share Posted December 18, 2014 Im so sorry Shirley. My dad passed, will be 2 yrs March 2nd., and my mom still has issues. The first 9 months to a year is the worst. She has told me it does get a little better, but she also tells me she "talks" to his picture every day. I think that's the lonliness she's feeling, as my mother has NEVER lived alone a day in her life until after dad passed. Quilted Hugs for you, as you make "your journey" thru this grieving time. Don't feel bad. Everyone's grief time is different, and don't let anyone tell you any different. You will find YOUR way thru this on your terms. It WILL happen, in your own time. If you didn't hurt this much, then that means, you didn't LOVE that much. Just know that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmcclannan Posted December 18, 2014 Report Share Posted December 18, 2014 I know grieving is hard work. Take time to figure out what your life will look like without your precious husband. God does have a plan so let him lead you through this. Sending a hug your way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oma Posted December 18, 2014 Report Share Posted December 18, 2014 The ache stays forever, but the days do get easier. Fill your days with things you love. If you like to read then grab a cup of tea and go find a cozy spot and let your mind travel through a book. It can take you any where and every where, but mostly it takes you away from your pain for a short while. Whatever works...reading....quilting...people. You just have to go a day at a time. We're good people here and we will hear you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meg Posted December 18, 2014 Report Share Posted December 18, 2014 This time of year makes the loss of loved ones even harder. I was heartbroken over the loss of my parents 8 years ago. I found that lying in bed every morning and repeating, "today I will honor my parents by enjoying this day." My friend gave me this tactic, and, slowly but surely, It worked. Of course, I still miss them. But, it's somehow easier now. Hugs to you, Shirley. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buslady003 Posted December 18, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 18, 2014 Thank you for all the kind words. Quilting is my go to "for getting lost". I do take one day at a time, and I am letting God lead me. I know John would not want me to grieve. We had such wonderful memories, and that is what is important to me. My kids are all close by, and help all they can. They are grieving too, for their dad. This forum is wonderful. Thank you all for being my friend. Shirley. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quilting Heidi Posted December 19, 2014 Report Share Posted December 19, 2014 Shirley I'm so sorry for your loss. I too will keep you in my prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KathG Posted December 19, 2014 Report Share Posted December 19, 2014 ((((Shirley)))) I am so sorry for the loss of your husband. After losing my husband age 54 very suddenly, it's coming up 9 years in January. All I can tell you is I found the first 2 years extremely hard. The first year I don't think the reality of it hit me. Just don't be to hard on yourself and allow yourself time to grieve. Don't let other tell you it's time you where over it. As Oma said the ache will always be there, but as time goes by you find it gets easier and you will be able to smile while remembering those special times xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mswings Posted December 19, 2014 Report Share Posted December 19, 2014 So sorry for the loss of your husband Shirley. It is so difficult to lose a spouse. Your were so fortunate to have had him for so many years. It will take time to grieve. I guess you never "get over it", but life has a way of helping you to live through it. I pray that you will find joy and peace in the arms of our Heavenly Father and in the arms of all who love you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charmaine Posted December 20, 2014 Report Share Posted December 20, 2014 Shirley, I, too, send my condolances on the loss of your dear husband. I hope you can find some comfort in the kind words from this forum's members. Best wishes for you and yours. Charmaine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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