Quilting Heidi Posted December 10, 2008 Report Share Posted December 10, 2008 Hi All, Well it has been a crazy week for me. My daughter has called off the wedding and broken up with her fiance. It was sudden and I didn't see it coming but I'm proud of her for making a very hard decision. I don't know all the details, only that all the wedding planning over the Thankgiving break made it all a reality and one that she wasn't sure she wanted. It was all her call and she says she is ok with it. She is in the process of moving home and will be with us until she is done with school and decides what she wants to do with her life. I'm sad for her and him but I would rather she make this decision now and not after they were married. My mom is still healing but not behaving. I'm not even close to being ready for Christmas but I'm sure I'll get there. I'm working on a customer quilt right now that I'm trying frantically to get done. It is all custom and a lot of quilting. I've been on the machine by 6 am trying to get an hour in before work starts. Then working for a couple of hours and heading to my moms then into the office. Back home dealing with mom after work and then down to the studio for 2 or 3 hours. I have 2 more rows to finish so probably 2 more days. I'm hoping to have it done by Friday but it may not get done until Sunday. I sure hope I don't get anymore news! I think I'm at my max capacity! Any extra prayers would surely be welcome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AbigailE Posted December 10, 2008 Report Share Posted December 10, 2008 When my sister was going thru her Healing from Cancer journey, she used to say that God thought very highly of her. Because of the verse that says God won't give you more than you can handle. I think God must be thinking highly of you, too. Your in my prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmoore1223 Posted December 10, 2008 Report Share Posted December 10, 2008 As you said, it's better that she made the decision before the wedding. I'm sorry that you're having such a hard time with your mother and everything right now. I'll add an extra prayer for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobbi Posted December 10, 2008 Report Share Posted December 10, 2008 Aw, Heidi, I'm so sorry. But you have the right attitude, it's better to do it now than go thru a divorce later... You are right to be proud of her and who knows, maybe someday they'll be back together... You have so much going on in your life, you need to take care of you... We love you and send lots of prayers and support! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Sew Simple Posted December 10, 2008 Report Share Posted December 10, 2008 So proud of your daughter. Some girls would have not been strong enough to break it off at that late a date. Good for her. When she finally makes that big step in her life at least you know it will have been the right step! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BethDurand Posted December 10, 2008 Report Share Posted December 10, 2008 Heidi, please give our hugs to your daughter and tell her how proud I am for calling off a wedding that wasn't right for her. She'll know when it is right, and won't have any doublts. Still praying for you and yours, will keep it up. Beth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sylvia Posted December 10, 2008 Report Share Posted December 10, 2008 Dear Heidi These are the trying times in life. I hope you can get some time for yourself in the middle of everything else and look for a chance in the near future where you can take a couple of days to get some extra sleep, go walking, relax with tea in hand and get ready to go again. Hang on. Sylvia from Canada Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bonnie Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 Wow.....that's some major news...but I too agree (not that my influence means much), but glad that she is doing what is right for her. There are so many of us that just don't do the right thing and then its to late, and way worse headaches laters.... Give her a huge hug for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quiltmonkey Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 Originally posted by hmerrill ......she is in the process of moving home and will be with us until she is done with school and decides what she wants to do with her life.... Good! I am GLAD your daughter is finishing school first. And that she is focusing on HER life and what SHE wants to do with it. When the time is right, she can always get married.... Right, Ladies??? I didn't get married until I was 30. We have the rest of our lives to be married but rarely do we women take the time for our own selves to seek and learn about what we truly are inside before we settle down and have a bunch of babies. Good for her!!!! Re: your mom and the quilt. (((sending you hugs))) Remember the elephant eating philosopy; Take one bite at a time. You know your priorities, Heidi! Please don't let this stuff over stress you... don't get sick over this. Your mom is a priority over a quilt. Take care of mama. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kennan100 Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 Heidi, Your daughter has really displayed tremndous wisdom in making a very difficult decision. God bless her! Still praying for your Mom and that situation! Big Hugs! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quilting Heidi Posted December 11, 2008 Author Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 You are all right, she made a very hard decision but like I told her she needed to follow her heart. This has been going on all week and I wasn't sure where it going to end up. She emailed me Sunday afternoon and told me not to send in the deposit for the Inn. She had a dream that they called the wedding off and then couldn't go back to sleep. Then she said all she could do was think. I told her all along we would support her no matter what. She keeps everything to herself and I always worry because I don't always know what she is thinking (she got that from dad ) but I know she is a smart girl and in her time she will figure it out. Shana - on the mom topic...the quilt is easier to deal with! I want it done just so I don't have to deal with it. I've got one row to go and the border. I had to do some frogging tonight. For some reason my bobbin got wonky. I think I have it all out and redone. I'm anxious to get it off the frame to see how it really looks. I've tried a few new things and I'm pretty pleased with it. She had lots of points that she cut off so that makes the SID harder. I have a few bobbles but not too bad...I hope! There is lots of backtracking so I can always unstitch the areas that show too much. As for mom she is doing things she shouldn't be doing. Today she flat out lied to me about driving her car and that really got me upset. She can't use her right arm and I don't want her taking any chances. I've done all that I can do to help her and be there to run her around and all I ask is that she do what she is supposed to do for 3 weeks. I told her today if she has to have surgery after all this I'm putting her in a nursing home and they can make her behave! She makes me crazy. My brothers are of no use but boy when they are messing up it is my fault. That was how my day ended. I just have to try to keep patience with her. Today when she gripped because I didn't curl her hair right, then I use too much hairspray, then not enough, I just responded by saying, "Gee Heidi thank you for taking your day to do my hair." I kept responding like that every time she gripped. I will continue to help but she doesn't make it easy! :mad::mad::mad: Thanks for the prayers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lizziesgirl Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 Heidi, Sending a huge hug to you and many thoughts and prayers. Not an easy road to be slidding down right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Sew Simple Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 Heidi, some things you have said about your mother has sparked memories of my MIL before she died. When Linda, her daughter, would go over to tend to her she would gripe and complain and fuss and make Linda cry. When I would go over she was on her best behavior. One day she tried the old mean trick on me and I just stepped back and said, "Now, sweet lady, I am here for you. You be meen to be and I am outta here and you can do it by yourself! I love you but I don't have to be blessed out for doing the best I can for you!" She never ever was ugly to me again. But she continued to be ugle to Linda because Linda wouldn't say anything. You just never know, do you. I think when we are sick and feel bad we tend to hurt the people we love most. We just want to lash out and they are handy. That is Just my thoughts on the subject and I am no expert. Blessings to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quilting Heidi Posted December 11, 2008 Author Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 Sylvia, I sure wish it were that simple! LOL I do tell her what I think and I do leave when I've had full but I know that if I don't go help she'll do it herself and will have more problems. She does this whenever she is worried about my brothers and makes more excuses for their behavior than I can deal with. It is what it is, has been this way since I was little. I told her today no matter what I'm not perfect enough for her so to heck with it...don't care. Really I care but she gets me so darn mad! I hate to loose my cool like that but life goes on. You know this sounds horrible but I'm really ok. Life could be a whole lot worse and I know I'm blessed compared to others. Monday work was bad and I said, "God what else could go wrong?" The power went out and my computer crashed! LOL I'm not asking anymore. I will just take it one day at a time! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ffq-lar Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 Too much, too much, tooooooo much!!!!! Arrrrrrggggggghhhhhh!!!!! Whew! I just had a small nervous breakdown for you Heidi! I hope that will take some pressure off you. Hugs to you, your wise daughter and your (crabby for a reason but still a pain) mom who knows who loves her and is there for her!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RitaR Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 Heidi, you know how I feel, think about this... as for your mom, keep roflmho and running out the door before she can cut you down or sass you meanly... Hug Jen for me, tell her good Job, even if it was a real big hard one. Hug Yourself, too.. RitaR Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobbi Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 One good thing, you CAN still out run her can't you? LOL I sure hurt for you and what you are going thru... my older sissy is going thru the same thing only my mom curses at her and tells her she's stupid and - and - and! She does that to her really nice second husband too. I think she's mad he's out of money and there's not much in insurance on him... Sadly there is nothing you can say to your mom or mine to make them understand. They're right and no one else is. I'm prayin' for ya kiddo! Just keep your running shoes on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gator Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 Heidi, I'm thinking about you and saying a few prayers. Congrats on you daughter making a hugh decision before things became complicated. I should have changed my mind at least 3 times. Hang in there with your mom, if you need a break come to Virginia. In response to a different thread, Va Beach is 4 hours south of Quantico. My DML is around 85 and kept sneaking out and driving. She is the only one at the assisted care apartments with a car and license, so she was the one who drove all the guests (neighbors) around town. The only way we knew she was driving was the "I had an accident" after blacking out from not controlling her eating (diabetes). We had to totally disable the engine to keep her from getting behind the wheel. LOL, I hope I'm not that stubborn when I reach 90. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
appr216 Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 Hugs and prayers, Judi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrsbishwit Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 Heidi; Hang in there... ther's a saying "this too shall pass" and it will it just seems that when it rains it usually pours. Better that your daughter called it off now vs when things are more complicated after they were married. My oldest will be 18 in February graduates from high school in May and will be off to U of A in the fall (she already got her acceptance letter last week) with a scholarship (tuition waiver). She has no desires to get married until after she gets her degrees (yes degrees, she wants to be a head pharmacist which can take anywhere between 6-8 years depending on the school). We just purchased her first car (a 2006 pontiac G6) was a good deal and we told her it was her Christmas, B-day, and graduation gift). We figure this way with a newer car we won't have to worry so much about car repairs when she is off at college. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sylvia Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 Hello All In terms of your struggles with your Mom, Heidi, isn't there a point at which you just say....I'm not going to take it anymore? It seems so damaging to you when she takes all you have to give and then is mean to you. The family scapegoat is the most destructive position to be in. I know you love her and worry about her and I agree with what someone else said - head out the door when things get nasty. But, more important, don't feel guilty after you head out the door. None of this is your fault and you need to look after yourself too. Please take some time for Heidi. Sylvia from Canada Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimmiequilts Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 Prayers to you and your family Heidi, I'm sure you all need some hugs, ((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))))! I pray for your strength to help your DD move forward with her life and for your patience with your Mom, because no matter what she is your Mom. Just remember to take time for yourself, to breathe and regroup. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renae Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 Prayers and a BIG (((((((((((((HUG))))))))))))))))) to you and your family. Oh and you BIG YELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!! There I got rid of some frustration for you too.:D Did it help??? Sure hope it put a smile on your face. Renae Gamel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quilting Heidi Posted December 11, 2008 Author Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 Renae yes it helped and yes it put a smile on my face! Thanks!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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