quiltmonkey Posted November 23, 2009 Report Share Posted November 23, 2009 Heidi, I love the tinkerbell panties story... awwww! Love those little girlies. So cute they are. Heidi and Merry Jo, yeah you're right about the monitor for a DH... this is probably TMI! Some things we just don't need to know or don't wanna know... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LinneaMarie Posted November 23, 2009 Report Share Posted November 23, 2009 Awwww. I wuved the story too!! I'm sooo glad things are going well for all of you! I will be giving "thanks" for you guys on Turkey Day.........and every day!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quilting Heidi Posted November 24, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 24, 2009 OK so today has not been a good day! My BIL called me at 11 this am to tell me that he and his ex had a tiff and she took Maddie and said she would take care of her. Well it turns out that my BIL decided to tell her that he couldn't see why he should pay her child support if he was going to have Maddie for a couple of days and I was going to have her for 3. What do you think she did? yup picked that baby up and left with her and said fine I'll just take care of her! I'm so stressed about the whole thing. They do not have a legal agreement and he agreed to pay her the child support. If she takes him to court then he'll loose! No doubt about it. I don't know what the heck he was thinking. He tells me he agreed to pay support and that she would have custody. I told him if he wants to spend time with his daughter he should and I'm thrilled to have her instead of a babysitter. It is all about Maddie and they better not dare treat her like a pawn! He asked me if I thought he was wrong and I said yes. I told him if he was having a hard time paying her that much he should be honest and work it out with her. I really wanted to go shake him! He still doesn't think he was wrong but says if I say he was he'll buy that. He has tried to talk to her but she told him she was so upset and sick to her stomach all day. I'm sure she is making it by the skin of her teeth and having 3 little girls trying to make ends meet is really hard. I'm not saying she is perfect but what I have known about her is that she is a good mom. She did call this weekend to check in and says she is so grateful that Maddie is spending time with us. Why do people do this to their kids? I talked to the mom tonight and asked her to please not do this. She says she doesn't want to but she can't rely on him paying her or saying that he is only giving her so much if he has her some. She wants her to spend time with us so I'm hoping we will still get her anyway. Please say some extra prayers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DoryJM Posted November 24, 2009 Report Share Posted November 24, 2009 Hang in there Heidi; I hope it will all work out for you and Maddie. People can do the worst things to their kids and not even see it. Sending you hugs and prayers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quiltmonkey Posted November 24, 2009 Report Share Posted November 24, 2009 Oh no this is awful. Please, for the sake of those three little girls, the parents need to grow a spine, swallow pride, and stay together as a family to allow those kids to have a mom and dad at home. Those kids should not be shuffled back and forth. Please tell the mom and the dad that it's not about "You" anymore, it's about what's best for the kids. Really. those kids could care less about how much $$ or how little $$ they have. Those kids care about having a mommy and daddy that they can see and talk with every day. Even if the parents can't stand eachother they need to "cowboy up" as Bonnie would say and do this for their children who need their parents. Tell that BIL he needs to grow up and put his big girl panties on. It's not about the child support money. It's about those kids. :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quilting Heidi Posted November 24, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 24, 2009 Shana already done. 2 of the girls are not his. Their father only sees them 6 hours a week. So sad!!!!! Makes me sick. Maddie is the only child he has with this mother (they never married). My BIL has 2 older girls that lived with their mother and I can say that my BIL was no father! I've told him so too. Right now my concern is for Maddie. I'm so angry at him for doing this. He really doesn't get it either. Says he thinks it is perfectly reasonable that he would not pay her since he is taking care of her. I told him if he makes it an issue he won't see her at all. He says that is not what he wants. I've got to call him and see if they talked. I can't stand this! Oh her mommy told me that Maddie told her all about her chair and bed at Aunt Heidi's! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lin Posted November 24, 2009 Report Share Posted November 24, 2009 Hope for Maddie's sake this works out - she needs stability and she will get that from you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beachside Quilter Posted November 24, 2009 Report Share Posted November 24, 2009 Hugs for you all, Heidi! Keep your chin up and stay strong. Sounds like you are the only one with your head on straight. You and Maddie, BIL and the mom and 2 other girls will stay in my thoughts. Vickie Oliver Beachside Quilter APQS Rep SW FL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmcclannan Posted November 24, 2009 Report Share Posted November 24, 2009 Isn't it sad that people no long feeI that children should come AFTER marriage. Too often these sweet babies become weapons instead of blessings. I applaud you for standing up to your BIL and I pray that you can remain in Maddie's life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Primitive1 Posted November 24, 2009 Report Share Posted November 24, 2009 Heidi, I will certainly keep your situation with Maddie and her parents in my prayers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quilting Heidi Posted November 24, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 24, 2009 Thanks for the support girls! This truly breaks my heart. Julie you are so right about the whole marriage thing. I hate that people won't commit and think before they bring a little life in the world they should have their life together. We didn't know that Maddie was even coming until 2 weeks before she was born. Her mother hemoraged in the middle of the night and had her when she was only 7 months along. Maddie was a fighter from the start. She was only in the hospital for 4 days and they sent her home. I have just talked to my BIL again and you know I just don't think he gets it. He says that if he had her full-time he wouldn't expect a penny out of her mother. Well the bottom line is he is not able to take her full-time and honestly I don't think that would be best for Maddie. He works usually 6 days a week, 3 days are considered over-time so not guaranteed. He pays a lot out in child support between Maddie and his other two children but that is his responsibility. My personal opinion is that he is upset because her mother has a new guy in her life. I told him that too. I will now have to keep up with her mother too to make sure that we stay involved no matter. I can't fix them. God knows I can't even fix my own brothers. Sure wish I had a magic wand or could wiggle my nose and make them all be normal responsible adults but that just isn't in the cards. I'm still supposed to get Maddie tomorrow and we'll just have to play it by ear. I hope nothing else explodes this weekend! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lcquilting Posted November 24, 2009 Report Share Posted November 24, 2009 Your little niece reminds me so much of my dau. Joni. She is also 2 1/2, going on 16! But these strong headed little girls will be beautiful, independent young ladies soon. I'm sure with the guidance from you and your family, she'll turn out just fine. No matter how much Joni has tried me that day, I ALWAYS make sure I tell her I love her and she says it back "Lub you too Momma" Hang in there, God has a way of working everything out! Our prayers are with you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AbigailE Posted November 24, 2009 Report Share Posted November 24, 2009 Breathe. Deep breath in, long breath out. In breath remind yourself of things you are greatful for, out breath, wish that for someone else. Maddie is held in the arms of the Beloved. We can't know what that plan is, we only have control over what we do. You have continued to carry her and this trouble and that has been your journey, You have shown Maddie, strength and courage by example. May you be blessed with the strength and courage to continue. Love is the answer, hope is the cure, courage is the path and strength from above. You are supported here, in prayers, in thoughts and with gentle hugs. Take special care of yourself, so that this stress doesn't get you sick. You need your strength, what ever that is. Treat yourself gently my friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cvrchota Posted November 24, 2009 Report Share Posted November 24, 2009 heidi... i feel for you... we went through much of the same scenario when my granddaughters were very young... broke my heart that they kids were used as pawns... the arguments among the 'adults'... i tried to stay as neutral as i could so i could see the kids once in a while... now that they are older, all that drama is done with and the girls come to visit me... i've taught two to make quilts... one even came over a few weekends ago to piece a quad star with me and a few friends... anyway, it's difficult and, like you, it's heartbreaking for the kids... they don't understand and they're the ones who hurt the most... maddie is lucky to have you to look after her wellbeing... hang in there! lots of prayers for you! ..and take care of yourself! charla Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marlette Posted November 24, 2009 Report Share Posted November 24, 2009 Heidi, I didn't see the 1st page of this story but from what I've read it's a heartbreaker and you are an angel to this little girl. Hang in and keep in touch with her mom. Offer to help out in keeping her as often as you can. You will become the stability she needs now and in the future. My sister was 41when she had my niece. My BIL was 50. They each had kids from their 1st marriages who were in their 20's! My sister wanted me to take the baby 'cause she said she was too old to be raising a child. She was also not thrilled to be having a girl as her other child was a boy, a great kid really. Anyway, taking her was out of the question much as I wanted too...we had 4 boys. ANyway, BIL was an alcoholic who eventually went to AA and got straightened out. My sister went the other way and self medicated her bipolar disorder with alcohol. My husband and I became her "other parents" and to this day she says if it wasn't for us she'd be dead! She left home at 16 and enrolled in university, graduated with a triple major and made Dean's list 14 quarters despite battling depression. Bipolar runs in our family, I'm the only one medicated. She's 29 now and doing well working on her masters. She calls me at least once a week. You will make a difference in this little one's life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quilting Heidi Posted November 24, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 24, 2009 Prayers worked! I have Maddie. She was very happy to come with me. We were going to the store on our way home (1 hour drive) but guess who fell asleep. Well nothing has changed because I decided to come home and let her finish her nap but that ain't working! She is in bed but I hear her talking. LOL I guess I'll just go get her up give her lunch and head to the store. Thanks for all the prayers girls. Please continue to pray for her parents...they need it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KathG Posted November 24, 2009 Report Share Posted November 24, 2009 Heidi I will keep Maddie and your family in my prayers and thoughts, hoping for a happy outcome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dnice Posted November 24, 2009 Report Share Posted November 24, 2009 Heidi, I will keep Maddie and your family in my prayers and thoughts. This could be a tough time for Maddie especially with the holiday. Be strong and all will work out. You have such a big heart to give to that precious little one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lindasewsit Posted November 25, 2009 Report Share Posted November 25, 2009 Heidi, Still praying.... love you! linda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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