sewhappy Posted April 8, 2011 Report Share Posted April 8, 2011 My father passed away a few years back. My mother asked me what of his I wanted. I told her I would like his flannel shirts-my intention at that time was to make her a quilt from them so she could feel somewhat comforted by a hug from him. I have not been able to cut up his shirts. Our relationship has always been strained to say the least and since his passing it has gotten unbearable to the point that we don't even speak to each other now. My father was a bit of a cushion & without him around to stop her tormenting of me I had to draw the line. She did'nt even want to come to her ONLY grandson's High School Graduation. Same thing this year but for my dghts graduation (I am an only child so these kids are her only grandchildren). She has remarried and invited others from both side of my family but no mention of any of it to me or my family. She has made it very clear to me she wants NOTHING to do with me. Fine, I have over the past couple of years learned to accept it tho it still is painfull at times the physical ,verbal & mental abuse has ended. Anyway I have not been able to cut up daddy's shirts yet-& I am certainly NOT making her a quilt from these shirts!! But today I had a briliant idea!! I will make both my kids a quilt from those shirts. They adored their grandfather & I always tell them that in my father's eyes the sun rose & set on them. those quilts will be perfect for them as they are in college! I think I can now cut up daddy's shirts! If there is enough I will make one for me also! Brilliant idea right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nanbrug Posted April 8, 2011 Report Share Posted April 8, 2011 Sounds like a wonderful idea. Don't let mother stop you from doing something nice for your children to remember their grandfather. Go for it get that quilt started! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delld Posted April 8, 2011 Report Share Posted April 8, 2011 You go girl! Once you start on you projects it will be vey fulfilling to you! ANd your children will love the quilts!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ffq-lar Posted April 8, 2011 Report Share Posted April 8, 2011 Perfect solution, Patty! You will free yourself from the pain and connect your father and his grandchildren in a very positive and healthy way. You are a much better mom to your kids than you mom is to you--can I say that? Make four patches or nine patches with just one other added fabric/color for the alternate blocks to stretch the flannels and have enough to make three quilts. You deserve one of you own! But of course, you design your own patterns, so I bet you have something in mind already. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
witha'K'quilting Posted April 8, 2011 Report Share Posted April 8, 2011 Patty...certainly a fabulous idea! your kids will cherish these quilts. I agree with Linda...make a quilt for yourself too! you deserve it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sewhappy Posted April 8, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 8, 2011 Actually I do - My father was a simple man,tho a very hard worker-The woman formally known as Mom will never have to work or want for anything.Iwas thinking 4patches or 1/2 square triangles. Something simple but dependable as that as my father. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
witha'K'quilting Posted April 8, 2011 Report Share Posted April 8, 2011 sounds like a great plan. tumblers might be something to consider too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lisae Posted April 8, 2011 Report Share Posted April 8, 2011 Patty, I can't wait to see what you make with those special shirts! You are so creative! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmeimann Posted April 8, 2011 Report Share Posted April 8, 2011 In my experience it is always hard to make that first cut but once you get them into a quilt you can't imagine not having this precious memory. Two quilts sounds like a wonderful/special plan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Primitive1 Posted April 8, 2011 Report Share Posted April 8, 2011 What a great idea!! I can't wait to see what you make and I'll bet your kids will cherish them! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Linda S Posted April 8, 2011 Report Share Posted April 8, 2011 There you go! The sad thing is we can't choose our relatives. Cut her loose, let her go. She is the one who loses. Linda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BobbieJones Posted April 8, 2011 Report Share Posted April 8, 2011 I just completed a quilt for my nephew's college graduation using his Dad's sportshirts. His Dad passed away from cancer when he was a freshmen. He promised his Dad he would graduate. He has a learning disability so it has taken him 6 years but bless his heart he will graduate on June 11th. I used a Strip Club Pattern called Holiday Cheer from Cozy Quilts. It turned out wonderful. I don't know how to post a picture on the forum but I can send you a picture via email if you are interested. I can't wait for him to see it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cblevins Posted April 8, 2011 Report Share Posted April 8, 2011 I recently made small quilts for 3 young men out of their father's shirts. They said he ALWAYS carried a bandana hanky in his pants pocket. I bought some red bandana print to use in some of the blocks and as a border. It made the shirts stretch far enough. The tears when they saw them meant so much to me. I knew they would be cherished. Try to stretch it so you can have one for yourself too. It sounds like he loved the 3 of you a lot. You will wrap it around you and soak in the memories just as your children will. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terri C. Posted April 9, 2011 Report Share Posted April 9, 2011 absolutely a brilliant idea !!!! I agree with the others, you really need to try and get three so you have one for yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave-Jane Posted April 9, 2011 Report Share Posted April 9, 2011 Perfect solution!!! - 3 quilts would be great!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
o2b Quilting Posted April 9, 2011 Report Share Posted April 9, 2011 Awesome idea!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kay Anderson Posted April 9, 2011 Report Share Posted April 9, 2011 A perfect plan!! You will be so glad, and so will your children. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quilted charm Posted April 10, 2011 Report Share Posted April 10, 2011 great idea!! I don't understand how a Mother can avoid her only child, but you know you won't be doing that to your children. They will really appreciate having something to remember their grandfather. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandra Darlington Posted April 10, 2011 Report Share Posted April 10, 2011 Oh, your story brought tears to my eyes. I think three quilts are needed, and what a perfect decision you made to give your children each a quilt. You deserve one also. If there aren't enough shirts for 3 quilts, perhaps stretch it by making an Irish chain and buy the background fabric that would suit each child's personality, and yours. The rest could be from your Dad's shirts. Another idea is for the sirts to be the center of a star, and the points and background be purchased fabrics. Or, another idea is to make 3 quilts that are different designs, such as 1 star quilt, one Irish Chain and one something else. Please post what you decide to do. This is such an emotional journey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sewhappy Posted April 10, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 10, 2011 Funny you should mention a star - I have decided to do the Carpenters Wheel as a medallion using his shirts-I should get 3 fairly good sized centers then I can add to it using other fabrics That should stretch it enough to do 3 quilts! I chose the Carpenter's wheel as that was what my father was! He started as a carpenter but then became a contractor. You all may be familar with one building in particular that he worked on- The Pyramid building in San Fransisco! I will always remember the story he told me about him having to put the flag up on the point! He had to do that when he worked on the lighthouse in the bay also. He had to get there by helicopter. Wow the memories ARE coming back & I havent even started cutting yet! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quilting Heidi Posted April 10, 2011 Report Share Posted April 10, 2011 Patty I'm really sorry you have had to go through this. It is so hard. My mother and I now talk but we've been on that rocky road you have been. My mother wouldn't go to my son's wedding but makes it a point to go to everything involving my brothers kids. She never came for one birth, graduation, nothing! It was very sad and I've decided that it is her loss. My kids are ok and really they can't miss what they have never had! My MIL was worse than my mother because at least my mother sent them special birthday cards, gifts and such. MIL never did a thing except she did give them a christmas gift and a card with $5 for Easter. Again it is her loss. It hurts me more than it hurts the kids. I'm sorry you know that hurt. I think you have come up with an absolutely perfect way to give your children something they can always have to remember your father. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shar Schmutz Posted April 11, 2011 Report Share Posted April 11, 2011 Patty, A perfect solution to painful situation, I love the idea of the Carpenter's Wheel! I love that the good memories are already flowing! Can't wait to see them finished! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nineva Posted April 11, 2011 Report Share Posted April 11, 2011 Patty you rock. Just keep on going now that you are free of the "mom" burden. You know what I did. Now you have done it too. Enjoy those quilts, the process and the memories. Be sure your kids know those stories too so they can tell their kids about their great grandpa. I always tell my grandson stories about his "grandpa he never met" (my husband) that died when my children were little. He loves hearing the stories. Nancy:D:D:D:D:D:D:D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corey Posted April 11, 2011 Report Share Posted April 11, 2011 Great plan, hope to see your posts when finished. Your mom and others like her are missing on great things in life. We learned how to love them from afar because they push us away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beachside Quilter Posted April 11, 2011 Report Share Posted April 11, 2011 Thank you for sharing the story of your father's shirts. The Carpenter's Star sounds like the perfect design. How comforting for you to remember all the stories of your dad as you work on these quilts! You and your children are sure to cherish them for many years. Please post pictures when you are finished. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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