Daddy' shirts Sorry kinda long....


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My father passed away a few years back. My mother asked me what of his I wanted. I told her I would like his flannel shirts-my intention at that time was to make her a quilt from them so she could feel somewhat comforted by a hug from him. I have not been able to cut up his shirts. Our relationship has always been strained to say the least and since his passing it has gotten unbearable to the point that we don't even speak to each other now. My father was a bit of a cushion & without him around to stop her tormenting of me I had to draw the line. She did'nt even want to come to her ONLY grandson's High School Graduation. Same thing this year but for my dghts graduation (I am an only child so these kids are her only grandchildren). She has remarried and invited others from both side of my family but no mention of any of it to me or my family. She has made it very clear to me she wants NOTHING to do with me. Fine, I have over the past couple of years learned to accept it tho it still is painfull at times the physical ,verbal & mental abuse has ended. Anyway I have not been able to cut up daddy's shirts yet-& I am certainly NOT making her a quilt from these shirts!! But today I had a briliant idea!! I will make both my kids a quilt from those shirts. They adored their grandfather & I always tell them that in my father's eyes the sun rose & set on them. those quilts will be perfect for them as they are in college! I think I can now cut up daddy's shirts! If there is enough I will make one for me also! Brilliant idea right?

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Perfect solution, Patty! You will free yourself from the pain and connect your father and his grandchildren in a very positive and healthy way. You are a much better mom to your kids than you mom is to you--can I say that?:o

Make four patches or nine patches with just one other added fabric/color for the alternate blocks to stretch the flannels and have enough to make three quilts. You deserve one of you own! But of course, you design your own patterns, so I bet you have something in mind already.:)

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I just completed a quilt for my nephew's college graduation using his Dad's sportshirts. His Dad passed away from cancer when he was a freshmen. He promised his Dad he would graduate. He has a learning disability so it has taken him 6 years but bless his heart he will graduate on June 11th. I used a Strip Club Pattern called Holiday Cheer from Cozy Quilts. It turned out wonderful. I don't know how to post a picture on the forum but I can send you a picture via email if you are interested. I can't wait for him to see it.

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I recently made small quilts for 3 young men out of their father's shirts. They said he ALWAYS carried a bandana hanky in his pants pocket. I bought some red bandana print to use in some of the blocks and as a border. It made the shirts stretch far enough. The tears when they saw them meant so much to me. I knew they would be cherished. Try to stretch it so you can have one for yourself too. It sounds like he loved the 3 of you a lot. You will wrap it around you and soak in the memories just as your children will.

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Oh, your story brought tears to my eyes. I think three quilts are needed, and what a perfect decision you made to give your children each a quilt. You deserve one also.

If there aren't enough shirts for 3 quilts, perhaps stretch it by making an Irish chain and buy the background fabric that would suit each child's personality, and yours. The rest could be from your Dad's shirts.

Another idea is for the sirts to be the center of a star, and the points and background be purchased fabrics.

Or, another idea is to make 3 quilts that are different designs, such as 1 star quilt, one Irish Chain and one something else.

Please post what you decide to do. This is such an emotional journey.

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Funny you should mention a star - I have decided to do the Carpenters Wheel as a medallion using his shirts-I should get 3 fairly good sized centers then I can add to it using other fabrics That should stretch it enough to do 3 quilts! I chose the Carpenter's wheel as that was what my father was! He started as a carpenter but then became a contractor. You all may be familar with one building in particular that he worked on- The Pyramid building in San Fransisco! I will always remember the story he told me about him having to put the flag up on the point! He had to do that when he worked on the lighthouse in the bay also. He had to get there by helicopter. Wow the memories ARE coming back & I havent even started cutting yet!

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Patty I'm really sorry you have had to go through this. It is so hard. My mother and I now talk but we've been on that rocky road you have been. My mother wouldn't go to my son's wedding but makes it a point to go to everything involving my brothers kids. She never came for one birth, graduation, nothing! It was very sad and I've decided that it is her loss. My kids are ok and really they can't miss what they have never had! My MIL was worse than my mother because at least my mother sent them special birthday cards, gifts and such. MIL never did a thing except she did give them a christmas gift and a card with $5 for Easter. Again it is her loss. It hurts me more than it hurts the kids. I'm sorry you know that hurt. I think you have come up with an absolutely perfect way to give your children something they can always have to remember your father.

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Patty you rock. Just keep on going now that you are free of the "mom" burden. You know what I did. Now you have done it too. Enjoy those quilts, the process and the memories. Be sure your kids know those stories too so they can tell their kids about their great grandpa. I always tell my grandson stories about his "grandpa he never met" (my husband) that died when my children were little. He loves hearing the stories.

Nancy:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

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