Antoinette Posted April 18, 2011 Report Share Posted April 18, 2011 I was just going to say what Shana beat me too. Write it ALL down, even if it seems trivial at the time. When we were having issues with my grandson, a friend (who used to work for Family Services) said, write it all down. And then pray some more. I know God has a plan, I just want to see the blueprints every now and then. Like I could do better? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WestieMom Posted April 19, 2011 Report Share Posted April 19, 2011 Heidi, Continued prayers to all of you through this difficult time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saratogaquilter Posted April 19, 2011 Report Share Posted April 19, 2011 Heidi, I've been thinking about you all day and praying for things to work out, especially for Maddie's safety. I certainly can't add anymore to the great advice you've already been given. Just more prayers and big ((((((((((HUGS)))))))). Hang in there and try to get a good nights sleep. You can't let yourself get worn down. Sheryl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dnice Posted April 19, 2011 Report Share Posted April 19, 2011 Keeping you and Maddie and your BIL in my prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farmland Quilter Posted April 19, 2011 Report Share Posted April 19, 2011 Keep up the information as you get it so we can all pray more specifically. I'm sure everyone here wants to know what is happening and it probably helps you to be able to talk/write to us in a place where you know the information will be kept safe and not get back to anyone who shouldn't have it. Hope BIL knows we are praying for him also. Will pray God's will in this present circumstance because I can't figure out what will work out best for Maddie in long run. Of course, that she's safe but if mother keeps doing these things maybe it will work out in long run if the court finally gets fed up with her not following their rulings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quilting Heidi Posted April 19, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 19, 2011 BIL has Maddie for a few hours. He said, "She is so darn cute." I'm so glad for him. Maddie isn't her usual self but we knew that would be the case. She has basically been on her own. She has an ear infection. Mom is being overly nice at the moment. BIL is supposed to have her for Easter. I pray he does. I'll have him bring her down for a visit. I can't wait to give her a giant hug. We have a consultation with a lawyer on Monday. Keep praying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kennan100 Posted April 19, 2011 Report Share Posted April 19, 2011 Heidi, Be sure as you write things down make note of anything behavvior that indicates intoxication, include any background noises of comments heard. When he goes to court he can request that Maddie not be allowed around anyone who is drinking and that there be no drinking if she is going to be around. My ex-boss went through all of this with her husbands kids, and with her exhusband, and this is one of this things that nailed it for them. You can go to Radio Shack and get a recorder set up for the phone calls that go on back and forth, the first words out of your mouth when talking to her should be "This conversation is being recordered, date >>>>>>>.". Then let her talk and be very careful what you say. They had an attorney and I think they had a mediator. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quilting Heidi Posted April 20, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 20, 2011 Maddie spent the afternoon with her daddy. She was there about 6 hours and slept for 4! She was tired and I'm sure having a bed made a big difference. I got to talk to her twice. BIL is supposed to have her for Easter afternoon so they are coming to my house! Yippee. I can't wait to hold her. We also have a lawyer we hope. Meeting Monday. Thanks for all the prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neher-in-law5 Posted April 20, 2011 Report Share Posted April 20, 2011 good news. Thanks for sharing it. Hope it goes well this weekend and on Monday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RitaR Posted April 20, 2011 Report Share Posted April 20, 2011 Heidi, I'm wondering if it would be helpful for BIL to take picts of her bed and toys she has there, and condition of the house, and you do the same. Make sure his house isn't super neat. Maybe the bedding wrinkled a bit, a newspaper on the sofa, etc.. (and I hope this IS the way it is.) Then you do the same,. but LOL you can have the super neat house, etc. Surely it can't hurt, and should be of help. Ask the Lawyer.. also make note of how she is constantly changing her mind. Prayers are continuing. He should keep track of times he got her, how long she slept, the ear infection, does she take meds, etc. Just thinking and hope in some tiny way at least, that it helps. Hugs, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lindasewsit Posted April 20, 2011 Report Share Posted April 20, 2011 I'll keep praying for the situation! Love you! linda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Primitive1 Posted April 20, 2011 Report Share Posted April 20, 2011 Count me in for prayers too! I am so glad you will be able to spend some time with her on Sunday!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quiltmonkey Posted April 20, 2011 Report Share Posted April 20, 2011 Well good to know she gets to be with you Easter Sunday. I will be looking forward to seeing photos of her all dressed up and pretty like a little doll in her Easter dress... Please share!!! (((hugs))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marycontrary Posted April 20, 2011 Report Share Posted April 20, 2011 Yes, make sure you write down every time the mother changes her mind -- that's not fair to Maddie or BIL. Also how tired Maddie was during the day. Sleeping 4 hours out of 6 indicates two things to me. First, that she is exhausted and hasn't been getting enough sleep, and second, that she was finally in a place where she could relax and feel safe. Did her mother take her to the doctor for that ear infection? We really are a bunch of old mother hens on this site. I think we've all adopted Maddie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quiltmonkey Posted April 20, 2011 Report Share Posted April 20, 2011 Originally posted by marycontrary Sleeping 4 hours out of 6 indicates two things to me. First, that she is exhausted and hasn't been getting enough sleep, …..and second, that she was finally in a place where she could relax and feel safe. Oh yes!!! I can only imagine bless her sweet little heart.... that she knows she can just SLEEEEEEEEP and that she is safe and OK. Did her mother take her to the doctor for that ear infection? We really are a bunch of old mother hens on this site. I think we've all adopted Maddie. Mary, you say so many wise things!!!! Mary, you are so very wise and good and kind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustSewSimple Posted April 20, 2011 Report Share Posted April 20, 2011 Heidi, we had a Judge here that always sided with the man no matter the situation. He took his EX to court about every 3 months (and told her he'd break her financially). Everyone prayed for the daughter and mother for years. We wanted the Judge to open his eyes and see what was happening. Well, the man finally stopped sueing because......the Judge had a stroke and died. You just never know how God will work do you? Things have been peaceful now for about a year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quilting Heidi Posted April 20, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 20, 2011 Sylvia the thing that is most infuriating to me is that this can be done at somebody's whim. My boss went through this for years with his ex. She was always wanting more. I think there should be a set standard. First and foremost each should have to work at least full-time or the other has to agree that the one doesn't have to. I don't think it is at all fair that Maddie's mother is not working, living off child support of 2 children and taking care of herself and her other daughter who has no support. BIL is working 5 or 6 days of 12 hours and that doesn't include his 1 hour commute each way. I think both parents should be held accountable to raise the child and one should have all the perks and still do an aweful job at caring for the child. Maddie is always that tired the first day BIL or I get her. She never gets a nap at mom's and then she doesn't even have a bed so how the heck can you get a good night rest sleeping on the couch or the floor. I understand it from the DSS that the living room furniture was outside when he got there. That means Maddie slept on the floor. It is just heart breaking to me. Yes her mother took her to the doctors. She has been sick for a week and she thought she might have strep throat. Oh and yesterday BIL got her at 11 and she hadn't had breakfast before she went to the doctors either. It is just horrible. I can't wait to see her. Hopefully her mother will have her dressed pretty. If not we'll have to pull something out for her. Her father will be picking her up in the afternoon. She'll probably be really tired but I don't care. I'll even take her cranky! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quiltmonkey Posted April 20, 2011 Report Share Posted April 20, 2011 Originally posted by hmerrill ...Oh and yesterday BIL got her at 11 and she hadn't had breakfast before she went to the doctors either. It is just horrible. Write it down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quilting Heidi Posted April 20, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 20, 2011 Yup exactly what I said. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quiltmonkey Posted April 20, 2011 Report Share Posted April 20, 2011 You are a good egg, Heidi. Pun intended LOL! Love ya girl,,, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quilting Heidi Posted April 20, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 20, 2011 Thank Shana. You know it is so sad. All I want is what is best for Maddie. She deserves the best. Really any other child does too. It makes me so sad to see little kids in places like this. All I can do is try to help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Primitive1 Posted April 21, 2011 Report Share Posted April 21, 2011 This just breaks my heart!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neher-in-law5 Posted April 21, 2011 Report Share Posted April 21, 2011 Heidi, can you be sure to get a picture of her getting out of the car in the clothes that her mom "didn't" provide for her? Then pictures of her with the family having a good time but wearing clothes that fit and are appropriate for the occasion? Read that as clean and not torn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quilting Heidi Posted April 21, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 21, 2011 Maddelyn - Her mother might have a dress on her for Easter. The sad part is I know she has a ton of clothes for her. She gets hand me downs from a friend and she has 2 girls before her. The problem is she usually puts the stained old ones on her. As I understand it there are piles of clothes everywhere and Maddie usually just pulls out whatever she wants. I can tell you the first time I saw her other two girls before she had Maddie they were perfectly kept. Their hair was braided and their clothes clean and beautiful. I just don't know what happened. I guess she has always been a sketchy house keeper. Right now she is on her best behavior since DSS is involved. Hopefully we won't have to take pictures of the before!!!! I really sincerely pray that for Maddie's sake. Be sure that we will be taking pictures of anything inappropriate. Vicki I'm with you. It just breaks my heart everytime I think about it. Hopefully we'll start having her more so that she isn't so exhausted all the time. She always comes so tired and ready for bed very early. Her normal routine is to sleep 12 -14 hours the first night!!! Then she takes a nap. Then she is finally caught up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mswings Posted April 21, 2011 Report Share Posted April 21, 2011 You have been a wonderful advocate for Maddie! (((((hugs))))) Have a wonderful Easter with her. Spoil her rotten for all of us! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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