should I sell???

[cblevins]

I am trying to decide if should sell my 09 millie and all things quilty or not.  Right before Elmer got sick we were ready to open as a shop (basement). I have tons of quilting supplies..billions of tons of.fabric....3 accuquilt go ...accucut studio and tons of dies...the list goes on and on and......

 

I need to remodel the basement into an apartment which means all quilty stuff would have to go upstairs to the top floor (our bedroom) and I will be on the main floor.

 

As most of you know, Elmer did most of the longarming.   Will I ever use this stuff?  I like to piece but I have enough fabric and supplies for a shop. What am I going to do???  

 

[meg]

Cheri...

if at all possible, wait a while before making any decisions.

With all you've been through, now is not the time to be making big decisions.

I've been praying for you.

[JustSewSimple]

Is there a particular reason you aren't going ahead with your business?  Do you just not have the heart for it without Elmer?  Do you think you might enjoy doing at least E2E for customers?  Would you like folks coming in and out all day?  Was he the one with the head for business?  Could you use the company and do you need to be busy?  I am asking all these questions not for an answer but to see if you have thought it through.  Don't do anything while you are emotional.  Try to have a clear level head while you are deciding - if you can.  Please let us know what you decide.  Good luck to you sweet girl.

[Barbara Conquest]

Nice to hear from you, Cheri...I think of you every day.  My personal opinion is that it's too soon to make any lasting decisions, unless you have a deadline to meet.  What seems right and logical now may not seem so after a couple of months have elapsed.  However, you are the only person who knows what's right for you.  How's that for wishy-washy? 

[shirleyl]

It is recommended to NOT make any major decisions as in giving everything away or selling everything off after such a loss If you need to remodel into an apartment right away I would at least put it in storage or fill the garage or a room with it until you have time to recover. I know too many people who have made such rash decisions and regretted it. If you planned on selling as s business I would go ahead and sell the merchandise you don't want to use. But get what you was going to sell it for in the business you planned. Talk to an accountant. I'm sure you are looking at a lot of medical bills. Don't do anything rash.

[witha'K'quilting]

I agree with meg. Don't make any decisions just yet. It really is too soon i think.

If, and when, you decide what to do, it should feel right. Perhaps changing things in the house is a good idea. Move the quilter and sewing stuff upstairs, bedroom main level, basement apartment, etc will be enough to help you decide, in time.

Love you gal. Hang in there.

[newmillie2010]

Rule of thumb is to wait at least 1 year before making these big decisions.  Been there, done that ... and the advice is good.  Spend this time grieving and constructing a life for yourself.  Don't sell your house, don't sell your business, and don't make any big promises to anyone at this time.  Time will heal and only you know how much time that will take.  If quilting was something you enjoyed at one time, it may be something you can return to in the future.  Lots of prayers and wishes for you are being sent your way ... give them time to work their heavenly magic.  

[delld]

Hi Cheri, I agree with everything the gals have said. When my Dad passed away my Mom made some decisions she wished later she had not made. Take you time. Hugs from FLA!

[Stagecl]

I, too, agree with everything that has been said. Take time to heal first.

[srichardson]

Wait a while before you make a decision if you have the room to store your  Millie.  The machines hold their value and you may decide that you want to give it a try after all.  You have had so many things to deal with and decisions to make recently, put this one on the back burner for the time being.  

 

It is good to hear from you, take care of yourself.

[Anne from Guam]

I know from experience not to make big decisions too soon. They say when a person is grieving, their brain chemistry changes! I believe it. You think you can make good decisions but then looking back, you realize you did not.

It's also hard to listen to everyone telling you what's best!! The old rock and a hard place.

[sewingpup]

Hi,

 

You have gotten good advice here..the experts do say to wait 6 months to a year before making any major decisions.  Sometimes you do have to make major decisions sooner...but wait, really wait,  until you have some time to heal if you can.  Are you planning on renting out the basement space?  Is that why you need to remodel?   I know that the finacial stuff takes time to sort out too after something like this....give yourself time to really see where things are before making big decisions.  Up here, one of health care systems offers a grief support group and folks who have been through this might have some helpful thoughts to share....glad you feel comfortable enough to ask this group for thoughts.  I am new here...but not to loss.  Lin

[oireachtas]

Cheri,  Good advice being given here.  I have supported my mother,some aunts, and mother in law through the loss you are experiencing and the most important thing I have learned is not to make any decisions that you can't easily  undo.  When my father in law died last year my mother in law's initial thought was to sell the farm and move to assisted living.  This is a woman who has lived on a farm all of her life, loves her huge garden, and freezers full of food.  I finally sat down with her and the son who was already getting appraisals and arranging an estate sale and delicately advised that she give it some time.  A delicate task when you are the in law!  But I had seen mistakes made by other's and didn't want my dear mother in law to do anything she would regret.  She decided to wait and it is now a year later and she is so happy to be on the farm where she raised her family and shared many happy years with husband. She went from the original reaction of not wanting to be there without him, to loving the continuity of being in their home.  If you really need to recoups funds by selling things that is another story.  It sounds like you have ALOT of stuff and you may want to go through and get rid of the excess that you know you won't need or use (shouldn't we all do that LOL) so that it takes up less space, but major items like your machine would be hard to replace later.  Even if you feel like all the quilting stuff reminds you of time with Elmer and makes you miss him more right now, that can change with time and you could find joy continuing to do something that the two of you shared. And at least for me I know sewing/quilting is great therapy.  It takes just enough concentration that it takes my mind off things I might be worrying or stressing about, but not so much as to tax my brain and stress me more.   So my advice would be do what you can to make the stuff manageable, but unless you need the funds, don't make any decisions you might later regret.  You can always sell it later.  Sending you positive thoughts.

 

Claire

[fineseams]

What Claire and others have said is good advice.  Something that makes you feel sad and lonely now may be a comfort and a joy later.

[quiltingjoyful51]

Cheri, 

Go as slow as you can on big decisions.  We are still praying for you.

[appr216]

All good advice.  Please give yourself time to heal.  A year is a good time to wait.  Continued prayers for you.

[Quilting Heidi]

Cheri,

 

I agree with Meg, give it a little time to decide.  Can you just keep it packed up for now?  You have to do what works for you but give yourself time to decided what is best.  When my stepfather died my mother cleaned everything out within a week and I think it is just the way she dealt with things.  I think she regretted that after though and wished she had given herself a little more time to really know in her heart what she should do.

[ffq-lar]

You've asked a question of those who love you (us!) and have been given great advice. Do you have access to a grief counselor through church, county medical/mental health group, or your medical coverage? They can gently point out the pitfalls of quick decisions made after a death and also help with a referral to a financial consultant. Those objective professionals can assess your situation and give good advice that may match the advice of those who are close to you. That objectivity may be easier for you to hear and absorb coming from someone removed from the drama and pain of your loss.

Love you--Linda 

[Wannabelongarm]

Cheri,

I have had you in my thoughts, too, it is good to see you posting here.

Lots of good advice, but sounds like you may need to make some 'space' decisions.

Is there anyone who you can trust to 'store' your machine and use it to quilt in return for the storage fees? Then you don't have to make a decision to sell. And you could get your quilts quilted, or your could go there to quilt, and not have the machine in front of you as a reminder of Elmer's talents.

Can you make a few kits from your stash and sell at any fairs, quilt guild meetings, quilt shows, word of mouth, community events? It is work to cart around, but if may help to reduce your inventory. There is always the internet, and all the places there you can sell things.

Have a 'store' in your house, and advertise you are open certain days, or can set your hours around groups that want to come and shop. That way you don't have the demands of a Monday to Saturday operation, hiring help, etc. (Someone may help you to be paid back in fabric.)

Keep is as simple as possible and tackle one thing at a time.

The way will become clear. If you can't make a decision, then maybe it isn't the time to make that decision.

During a particular dark time in my life, my best friend kept telling me to remember: 'what do I need to do in this next minute, hour, morning, afternoon, etc,' and that helped me from becoming overwhelmed. I also did alot of planning on paper so I wouldn't forget while I was under a great amount of stress, and I could see progress. The words on paper sometimes help you see your way clear to a decision.

Good Luck, Cheri - you know you can always bounce your ideas here and get lots of thoughts and support!

Joanne Flamand

Artistic Quilt Design

[Sandra Darlington]

All good advise above about not making any really big decisions so soon.  Sending you a big ((((HUG))))!

[LibbyG]

Cheri,

 

You'll know the time is right when you just go and do it.  Sometimes asking for advice means you know you're not really ready to do this.  Our thoughts and prayers are still with you and may the coming days lessen your grief.

[LFQuilts]

_Cheri,

 

_{I agree with so much of the advice given here.  Wait to make big decisions if you can.  If it is a space issue, find some creative storage/sharing methods so you don't have to make selling decisions now.  If the issue is at least partly financial, find a good financial advisor to help you work through this time.   My only relevant 'other' thought is this: don't leave the forum.  Bounce ideas off the group from time to time.  Continue with the quilting community one way or another, preferably with us.  But if you leave us, don't do so until you have another community firmly supporting you.}

 

_Lynn

[iedquilts]

Cheri...

     We are praying that God give you wisdom.

 

  Irene

[TAQuilts]

Cheri my BF lost her DH last year he was her biggest fan and helper in their home based quilting and internet business. Her first thought was to sell the LA because her DH used it more than she did. Plus at the time she thought she needed the money. She is so glad she didn't sell her LA {she even had a buyer} because later when everything had settled down and she had time to think and reorganize her future plans, she realized she still wanted to make quilts, but she never liked the results she got quilting them using her hand driven machine. Then in the middle of the night it hit her to possibly computerize her machine. THe thought of computerizing their machine had never occured to them. But now she is so happy she kept her machine, yes it's now computerized and she loves it and spending her time learning something new.  

I'd say wait for awhile if you can before deciding to sell the machine.

Take care

Terry

[HeidiP]

Cheri,

      It looks like you'll be involved in a remodel job, making your basement into an apartment.  If I recall correctly, that also means you will have family living in the apartment.  Since you have an awesome family, that means you will have people who love you there to help out.  That sound like a good thing!

     Regarding your sewing stuff.  You have a ton of options, or "billions of tons" of options.  If your sewing/quilting area is relocating to your old bedroom, it likely has lots of windows and will be cheerful.  Imagine the supplies that will fit in the closet!  Is it a walk-in?  It will be so much fun organizing the fabric!  And convenient bathroom when you're sewing sounds like a bonus.   Since it's upstairs and your room is on the main floor, you won't feel compelled to pick up at the end of the day, but can leave everything waiting for you to return.  Not having to pick up if you don't want to sounds like a bonus, even if I made it up!  Now for what to do with the billions of tons of fabric.  With an Accucut, and tons of dies, you could make some really nice kits.  You like to teach kids.  How about teaching quilting?  Or selling kits?  How about enjoying your pallet of fabrics to choose from for your quilting!  Bad weather?  No problem.  You can shop for fabric at home.  If your longarm fits in the room without shortening her rails, great!  You can decide later how much you want to use her, but just knowing she's there if you feel the need to spend time with her may be a comfort.

     Meg, and many others, were right.  Hold off on unnecessary decisions.  There will be plenty of time for them later.  I'll continue to keep you in my prayers.  Let us know what the Lord leads you to do.