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NQR Just for Laughs, Another Added


Liam

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This is a good one you got to read!!!     (second story further in post)

 

An old Doberman starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.   

The old Doberman thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep trouble now!"    
Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the panther is about to leap, the old Doberman exclaims loudly,
   
"Boy, that was one delicious panther! I wonder, if there are any more around here?"
 
Hearing this, the young panther halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees.
   
"Whew!," says the panther, "That was close! That old Doberman nearly had me!"
 
Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the panther. So, off he goes.
   
The squirrel soon catches up with the panther, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the panther.
   
The young panther is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, squirrel, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!"
 
Now, the old Doberman sees the panther coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?," but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old Doberman says .......
"Where's that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another panther!"

 

 

 

Moral of this story... 
Don't mess with the 
old dogs... Age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery! 
BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
    
I am in no way insinuating that you are old, just 'youthfully challenged'. 
You did notice the size of the print, didn't you?

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HOW TO BE  GRACIOUS

Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching.

Nothing could dampen her excitement - not even her parent's nasty divorce.

Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear, and would be the best-dressed mother-of-the-bride ever!

A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father's new, young wife had bought the exact same dress as her mother!

Jennifer asked her father's new young wife to exchange it, but she refused.

"Absolutely not! I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I'm wearing it," she replied.

Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, ''Never mind sweetheart. I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day.''

A few days later, they went shopping, and did find another gorgeous dress for her mother. When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, ''Aren't you going to return the other dress? You really don't have another occasion where you could wear it."

Her mother just smiled and replied, ''Of course I do, dear.....I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night BEFORE the wedding.''

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

P.S.

 

 

Women are like phones: They like to be held, talked to, and touched often.

But push the wrong button and your butt is disconnected!

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