Reflecting - Family and Personal Happiness

[quiltmonkey]

I have been reflecting a lot lately. Maybe it's that time of year when I think of my many simple blessings and the reasons I am (and should be) grateful.

 

I found this photo today searching the internet for vintage photos from the 1800's / turn of the century. It's a photo of a mother crocheting something into a lace design while her daughter stands nearby and husband and son are in the background. It is a simple, normal family moment captured in a photograph. They sit near the warm stove in the kitchen. They look very content in the moment. What a sweet scene. Don't you agree? They seem to be happy.

 

I wonder if any of you know the name of this woman in this photo? Do you know where she lived? Hmmm... I don't either. To any of us, it's possible that she could have been one of our family members; a relative? Perhaps an aunt or a great, great grandmother? Or, she could have been a friend of someone that one of our ancesters knew. Most likely, none of our families ever knew who this woman was. I wonder if she lived a happy and fulfilled life. I hope so. From the looks of this photo, she lived over 100 years ago. And she has been dead and gone for many years. Because this photo is over 100 years old, the children in this photo have grown and lived their lives, raised their families, and surely have passed on by now, too. But, during this woman's life when she was alive, I imagine and hope that she made the best of her years on earth. Her moments and times on this earth were brief... I would say that she was very fortunate if she lived to be 80 to 100 years. That's pretty much the same for us, too ... 80 to 100 years. Then after 100 years, we all die and we are gone. Our moments in time have happened on earth. Hopefully during our years alive, we have created and did some wonderful things. Hopefully we all made some great memories and we all left some happy and good legacies for our children, our families, our friends, and most importantly, we all have made a positive impact on all of the other people we've left behind --- our family's future, our humanity, our society; hopefully we all have left this world in a better place. If each and every one of us strives for happiness, and tries to do the right things that our hearts tell us. If we all do good things for our people and our world, then we have done what we were meant to do on this earth. I think this is what God teaches us. We are only here for a short period of time, and we are supposed to live happy (heavenly) times on earth. Don't wait to die to live a heavenly life. Do it now while you are alive now on earth. Heaven on earth. Heavenly lives here and now. Isn't that nice? I think if we do this, our souls and memories remain here when we are gone; our legacies remain. Our impact remains. These good and happy and loving legacies are for those future generations. So, make the best of every day while you are here now. In 100 years, someone might stumble across an old photo of you and perhaps wonder who you were....

 

Happy Holidays and Many Blessings to all of YOU!

 

With love,

Shana

[LisaC]

She looks like she is making some Irish Crochet lace! I couldn't agree with you more about making your time on earth a happy time. Thank you for sharing and God bless you!

[Bonnie in Ok]

So true!

[Peggy (SewAsylum)]

I know I am making good memories with my grandchildren. They love to come over and ask to almost every weekend. We do crafts and sew and watch movies, play games, etc. It is funny that, recently when my 15 year old granddaughter got a couple of bad grades, her punishment was that she could not come over and play with us that weekend. LOL She says that her friends' grandparents are boring, but we are fun. haha I luv it!

[cblevins]

I think that even when life has dealt you some nasty blows and you know your days of true happiness are in the past, you still need to reach out to help others. Even in the worst of times we can still give to others.

[quiltmonkey]

I think that even when life has dealt you some nasty blows and you know your days of true happiness are in the past, you still need to reach out to help others. Even in the worst of times we can still give to others.

 

Yes, my dear sweet Cheri.  Helping others and giving to others who are in need can make our hearts feel good again and it gives us a purpose. I am sending you great big (((hugs))) know that we all love you and we are here always for you.  Love, Shana

[RitaR]

Yes, many memories.. mostly I wonder about my Dads side of the family. Put on a wagon train, ended up somewhere in Washington State, from  western New York originally.

 

He was on his own, working for a living at the age of 12!  Bed, meals and 50 cents wages per month.  Had to save up to buy a pair of work boots for 50 cents.  Raised by ranch hands, and so wondering how his holidays were,  reminicient of happy times, or after the day his 4 brothers were drown in the river.   It makes for sad thinking when their mother was placed in a sanitorium, and his Dad was a dandy running around the country and having fun with his lady's of the hour.   One kin said Grand dad was only home long enough at as time to get Grandmom pregnant.  Figure 17 kids..  and only 9 I think it was, lived to adult hood.

 

The lady of the picture, reminds me of the hard work they had then, and where would we all be if not for kin that went thru that also.

 

The lower part of her apron shows she spent a lot of time on her knees, probably praying, hugging her kids, scrubbing the floors, maybe using a wash board on wash day, cleaning the ashes out of the stove, restarting  fire in the morning.. straightening her daughters layers of clothes.  The apron was well used and carried a life time of happiness by the looks of it.

 

It use to be the Mom cared for everyone else, which helped her also, now it's live to get the best we want/need, and both parents working, etc.  How sad times have changed so much.  How content they must have been to be so attentative to her crochet.

 

The relatives in the pictured family have the blessing of the photo.  I just wonder how she kept her hands soft enough to not snag the crochet thread.

 

Yes, happy memories overshadow the sad hurtful ones, and we keep waiting to have more memories to reminisce, from the day it happens, to remember when we get old.

 

Thanks for bringing this up Shana.

 

Rita

[Bliss Quilter]

Shana,

Thanks for reminding us life is short and that we should all make the best of it every dayl  

 

To all,

May you be Gracied with PEACE and JOY this holiday season.  I am so blessed to be associated with such wonderful people. 

 

Many Blessings!!!

[RitaR]

Thanks Judith,  

 

My wish for all is to pray for world peace..  and for all to have peace of heart and may you be content during the holidays, and
All days..

 

Also stay safe and healthy.

 

God Bless all.

 

Rita

[Primitive1]

Well said Shana!  I love to look at old pictures and I wonder about the people in them too…this woman looked so young and so pleased with what she was doing, maybe taking a few moments out of her busy hard working day to make something beautiful for her home.  We all know how it feels to create something with our hands using our God-given talents to sew and how rewarding that is.  I think that is something we share across time with our ancestors. 

 

Thanks for sharing this and reminding us of how blessed we are!

[Von Roberts]

What a charming photo.  I think the couple are Eastern European, by the general setting, their clothes and the child has earrings.  I could well be wrong of course!!  As you say the mother looks very pleased with what she is doing. A charming family setting.

 

I have attached a photo of my great grandmother Esther Suzannah sewing, well probably mending, on my grandmothers front porch in the 1930's  She was confined to a wheel chair because she had severe rheumatoid arthritis (note her hands)  and would live 6 months at a time with each one of her children and their family. She did all the knitting and mending before she moved off onto the next family. Even with hand like that she was an accomplished sewer.

 

 It is a very long time since I have been in touch with you all but I have been reading what everyone is doing both the joys and sorrows.  Our year hasn't been that great with our son-in-law dying from cancer but life moves on and its time to rejoin the world.

 

You are all a very special group of people and I will never forget your generosity after the Christchurch earthquake. All those wonderful quilts  are still commented about by many.

 

Yvonne

[quiltmonkey]

Dear Von, it is so good to hear from you, and it makes my heart happy to know that the quilts are used and loved.  Thank you for sharing a photo of your great grandmother. I am sorry to learn about your son in law passing away from cancer. Sending (((warmest hugs))) to you from Alaska to you Down Under.

Shana

[RitaR]

Yvonne,  she is priceless.. and is so diligent in the picture.  Doing a job she could.  God bless her heart, and yours for sharing.

 

Glad you are back with us, prayers going up that all your family heals in good time.. so sad when a younger person dies..

It's just like there is something they should have done first.  Praying this year is much better to you and yours.

 

Hugs to you from Eastern USA.

 

Rita

[Primitive1]

Von, I too am glad to see you back and so sorry to hear of your son-in-law's passing.  Your family will be in my prayers.  I love that picture of your great-grandmother, she looks like she was a hard-working mender and she certainly earned her keep!

 

I also hope that this is a better year for you!

[JustSewSimple]

Doesn't it make you wonder why the one little girl is standing in the corner and why "Dad" is sitting on the fire wood.  I notice the floor covering in front of the heater has been worn thin.  That is where they stand each morning to get dressed, I'll bet, and the first place they stand when they come in from the cold.  I love to haunt the old antique stores just to "remember" things and how they were........good topic.

[ffq-lar]

Shana--I love you so much!

[quiltmonkey]

Doesn't it make you wonder why the one little girl is standing in the corner and why "Dad" is sitting on the fire wood.  I notice the floor covering in front of the heater has been worn thin.  That is where they stand each morning to get dressed, I'll bet, and the first place they stand when they come in from the cold.  I love to haunt the old antique stores just to "remember" things and how they were........good topic.

 

Sylvia, I love disecting old photographs, too!  It's fascinating. I look at photos in small sections and I am amazed at the little details I see in the photos. IT IS FASCINATING! And I learn soooooooooo much about the period and how they lived. So many interesting things to find in the old photographs!!

 

Shana--I love you so much!

 

  I love you too, LLL (Lovely Linda Lady)  

[Peggy (SewAsylum)]

I wish I could share everyone's enthusiasm. I have just been crying for days. Have been in a lot of pain. My wonderful sewing, quilting, and embroidery machines all just sitting there waiting for me. I did do a little emb. today, but had to stop after an hour. Called the dr. last week to get an appt. before I run out of pain meds. and he has left town. According to the staff his associate doesn't want to take me on. They are supposed to be asking her and getting back to me but they never call back. I have called 3 times, still no appt. They are acting as if I am a drug seeker, asking me if I am going somewhere else to get drugs since I haven't been to see them for 2 months. Had plenty of meds and didn't need to.  I try to take as little as possible so they last me awhile.  They made me feel like a felon.  They told me the DEA requires the dr. to give me injections or she can't treat me. I called another dr. and they said this is a lie. I guess I will give up on them and find a new dr. whose staff treats me with a little respect. I have no idea why they won't see me, but they are required to give me a 30 day notice before dumping me. Does anyone know who I can report them to? I think I should report them.  This is the third pain management facility I have been to where the staff treats me like crappola. It is like they hire very young people who don't know how to do anything right or be nice. They can't get your name, appointment, insurance, or prescription right. The dr. can't either.  I just don't understand. I truly wonder sometimes what is wrong that people, and my extended family, treat me this way.  I joined a chronic pain forum and most everybody says the same thing, they get treated  badly and their family forgets about them because they are stuck at home.  I am trying very hard to not let these things get to me but they do. I know this is NQR, sorry. I want to use my quilting machine very badly, so I read this forum every night so I can learn a lot from all of you talented people. Thanks for listening.

[RitaR]

Hi Peggy;

 

This crappy stuff continues to go on.  I just wonder how much my breathing and physical condition is affecting

The way our kids are with us.    I guess I've been seperating the two, one emotionally, the other physical, and

letting the emotions take hold instead of concentrating more on the physical.. that's for me to find different ways

to do things when I can't automatically do whatever ..   mixing,  leaning or squatting down to pick up, then

try to find a way up.   I  Know, Lupis isn't arthritis, deterioration of the bone, the disks, pinched nerves and such,

and it's harder for you to find any relief.

 

Pray thanking our Lord, for thinking you are strong enough in Him, to trust you to deal with this condition. and

for His strength to carry you through.

 

God is Good.

 

Rita

[quiltmonkey]

(((hugs))) to you Peggy. Perhaps your husband can help (fight for) you with regards to getting attention from your doctors and your medications. Your husband could have a lot of influence on getting you the help you need. One thing that I am concerned about is depression. You stated you have been crying a lot. This is not good or healthy. Staying at home indoors all of the time is not healthy for your mind nor is it good for your body. I know it might be physically difficult because of the pain, but you should get outdoors, breath in fresh air, mingle with people. Get some sort of exercise if you can.

 

Have you considered getting some counseling with a therapist? Sometimes it helps to just talk with someone (I have) in this profession who can help provide some advice and other options for you. Remember, there are lots of people out there who can help you with many opportunities to consider.

 

And I have to say this: In general, most all of us Americans are overweight and we all could stand to loose 20 - 30 pounds. I did and it made a world of difference on how I felt physically and mentally. I feel good. I look good. My knees don't hurt when I walk! Just changing my diet to eating healthy (eliminating processed foods) and dropping the 30 pounds made me feel so much better! 

 

Peggy, please take care. Shana

[Peggy (SewAsylum)]

I do take meds for depression, thanks for asking. I also did lose some weight and did feel better. Trying to keep it off now.  But I still have bad days. I do try to go outside and walk my dog a little but some days I can't do that.  I accept all gentle cyber hugs. Thanks.    Rita , I hope you can feel better. I don't know a lot about Lupus. But I can "hear" in your comments your frustration and pain. Is there someone there to help you?  As far as our families go, I just don't understand their lack of concern and communication. It is hurtful, but I have no answer for it.

[quiltmonkey]

Dear Peggy, Attitude is everything. You have power over how you live your life every day. Anyway, I wish the best for you, Peggy.

[ffq-lar]

Peggy, I have learned that those with chronic conditions--whether medical (like ongoing pain) or mental (like depression)-- have such overwhelming problems that many of the people in their lives sometimes don't know how to help and they disconnect rather than reach out.

Being with a "chronic" person is challenging. Those around you don't know how to ease your pain or comfort you. If they call to see how you're doing, they might hear a litany of debilitating symptoms and no good news at all. Or they may ask to take you to lunch but your pain just doesn't allow it. They turn away not from lack of caring but because it might be exhausting to them to know you're in pain and they can't help. It's easier to put you out of mind, if they have busy lives with family to care for or have issues of their own.

Don't depend on these people--they'll break your heart without meaning to. I hope you can find an advocate who can battle for you--whether a spouse, sister, child--just someone who understands and can fight for you. And forgive the ones who you feel have abandoned you. If you like, send them a letter telling them what would make your life more livable. No list of symptoms, just a message saying that they know you are fighting a medical battle and would like to reconnect because you need help and connection. They know what's wrong with you--don't lay the guilt trip on them. Tell them that your day would be easier if they would send you a nice "hello" email. Or a phone call to let you know how the family is doing. Only share the bad news with those who can take it--and you know who those people are. Ask to be included even if many times your pain won't allow attendance. Just knowing you're thought of will help.

Feeling abandoned when you are so hurting is heartbreaking. Is there a support group available to you? Most medical centers have chronic pain support groups--and groups for the family members to help them cope with their also-limited life that they live with you. Telling your story and getting encouragement and maybe leads to good pain-management doctors or clinics will be invaluable.

Sending a gentle hug and hopes for ease of the hurt feelings as well as the physical pain.

[Peggy (SewAsylum)]

Thank you Linda. I am still trying to get a dr. appt. I have joined an online support group. It is very hard for me to get out and get to a local support group.  I made 2 posts on facebook to family and friends, casually telling them that if they know someone with an invisible illness, to please remember them with an email, card, or answer their facebook post. It would brighten their day.  No one responded which was very disappointing.

[Peggy (SewAsylum)]

BTW, telling a person with depression to change their attitude is like telling a person with a broken leg to, just go ahead and walk on it, and it'll be okay.  LOL  Just saying......  LOL     Also, when I see my relatives, I don't talk to them about my pain problems. They have no reason to avoid me. They do not get a litany of symptoms. I just keep quiet about it.  I wear a cervical collar, so they know something is wrong, but I don't bring it up. I only talk about it if someone asks me, but no one does.  I have been thinking about this a lot and I still don't understand why they ignore me. After all, these are young people that grew up knowing me as their aunt who babysat them, played with them, changed their diapers. These are not acquaintances of mine. These are dear nieces and nephews, etc., that I have been close to all my life.  They are in their 30's and should have enough sense and compassion to know by now that sometimes people need a little something, and that saying hi, sending a card, whatever, is a polite and caring thing to do?  Who raised these people?   LOL  I have decided to stop reaching out to them, and I will feel better. I will stop sending cards after 2013. I have one more to send in Dec. and then I'll stop. Then it is even and fair to all.  I have my own kids and grands to talk to and spoil, I don't need them.  I am going to give them all the benefit of the doubt and just think that they just don't realize that a word from them would mean a lot to me. They are just soooo busy.  Then when I do see them, I will be pleasant and happy to see them.  I am going to go back to the dr. and tell her how depressed I have been; maybe I need a change of meds.  Still trying to get an appt. with pain management dr. I have found a different dr. and will go there. So I am trying to solve these problems, and again just find a way to live with pain and still keep an upbeat attitude.  I sat last night and crocheted, because I could not sew, and that was very pleasant. I am hoping to get good enough to make baby blankets for a charity called "Stitches from the Heart."

     Rita, I hope you are feeling better and I would say to you to please post on here to talk about it if you need to because it has certainly helped me to air these feelings here and to get everyone's thoughts on the matter. I respect you all and your comments and I appreciate them a lot.  I also am amazed at the beautiful quilts you guys post on here. Man, you guys are so talented!  It makes me want to practice a lot.   Hope to be back using my machines soon. The circles quilt I made up is kinda neat and my daughter saw it and really liked it!  My granddaughter said, "is that for me?"   I am almost done with it and I will post a picture of it when I am done!   I named it "Dottie."