NQR- Update on personal life

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I love this forum and I have learned so much from each and everyone that has helped me along the way.

I have not been on here much, but I do read every day.

I lost my husband of 56 years in April, and I am having a very hard time of getting over it.  He died from cancer of the lungs.

He had been going to the doctor for the past year, because he did not feel well.  They had run every test on him that they could think of, and the only thing they could come up with was COPD.  He had  developed pneumonia  and they decided to send him to the hospital.  While he was there, they discovered fluid on the lungs, between the lungs and the lung lining.  They had it tested, and it was stage 4 cancer.  He only lived for 18 days after this.  We(he, me, and our kids) chose to use hospice, because he was not well enough to  take any kind of treatment.

Hospice was the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with.  The kids and I were with him when he passed peacefully into his heavenly home.  We held hands, prayed, and sang amazing grace to him.  He had an amazing turnout of people at his funeral that we did not expect.  He had no enemies, and seemed to be loved by everyone that knew him.

I am hoping that by talking about this that I will be able to start healing my broken heart.   I do thank God for the 56 years that we had together, and I know that I will see him again on the other side.

Thank you for listening.  Shirley

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Im so sorry Shirley. My dad passed, will be 2 yrs March 2nd., and my mom still has issues. The first 9 months to a year is the worst. She has told me it does get a little better, but she also tells me she "talks" to his picture every day. I think that's the lonliness she's feeling, as my mother has NEVER lived alone a day in her life until after dad passed.


Quilted Hugs for you, as you make "your journey" thru this grieving time.

Don't feel bad. Everyone's grief time is different, and don't let anyone tell you any different.


You will find YOUR way thru this on your terms. It WILL happen, in your own time.

If you didn't hurt this much, then that means, you didn't LOVE that much. Just know that.

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The ache stays forever, but the days do get easier.  Fill your days with things you love.  If you like to read then grab a cup of tea and go find a cozy spot and let your mind travel through a book.  It can take you any where and every where, but mostly it takes you away from your pain for a short while.  Whatever works...reading....quilting...people.  You just have to go a day at a time.  We're good people here and we will hear you.

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This time of year makes the loss of loved ones even harder.

I was heartbroken over the loss of my parents 8 years ago.

I found that lying in bed every morning and repeating, "today I will honor my parents by enjoying this day."

My friend gave me this tactic, and, slowly but surely, It worked.

Of course, I still miss them.

But, it's somehow easier now.

Hugs to you, Shirley.

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Thank you for all the kind words.  Quilting is my  go to "for getting lost".  I do take one day at a time, and I am letting God lead me.  I know John would not want me to grieve.  We had such wonderful memories, and that is what is important to me.  My kids are all close by, and help all they can.  They are grieving too, for their dad. 

This forum is wonderful.  Thank you all for being my friend.  Shirley.

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((((Shirley)))) I am so sorry for the loss of your husband.

After losing my husband age 54 very suddenly, it's coming up 9 years in January. All I can tell you is I found the first 2 years extremely hard. The first year I don't think the reality of it hit me.

Just don't be to hard on yourself and allow yourself time to grieve. Don't let other tell you it's time you where over it. As Oma said the ache will always be there, but as time goes by you find it gets easier and you will be able to smile while remembering those special times xx

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So sorry for the loss of your husband Shirley. It is so difficult to lose a spouse. Your were so fortunate to have had him for so many years. It will take time to grieve. I guess you never "get over it", but life has a way of helping you to live through it. I pray that you will find joy and peace in the arms of our Heavenly Father and in the arms of all who love you.

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