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Wife (Non-Quilter) Just Doesn't Understand

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My wife had showed some pictures of my quilts I made at her knitting group.  One of her friends sent me a quilt top by my wife and wanted to know if I would quilt it for her.  Nothing fancy...her grandmother had made it for her and she just wanted to finally get it quilted...she didn't want to spend a lot of money (of course not).  It was a simple top.....small 3" squares....all the seams had been serged...the quilt laid flat and was actually quite pretty.  I knew the friend so I said I would quilt it for her and she wanted me to put on the binding.

 

I called the friend and we talked.  I told her if she would buy the batting and the backing I would do it for $50.00.  It was about 60" by 80".  I thought that was a great price considering I was going to do the binding.   She agreed and I told her what type of batting and about the backing and how much fabric was needed.

 

She called the next day and wanted to know if she could use a sheet instead of buying fabric...I said sure.  The she wanted to know if she could use polyester batting since Walmart was out of 80/20.  Again I said ok..I hate using polyster especially high loft.

 

Wife comes home Friday with the sheet and the batting and starts talking to me about the border....I said what border...I'm not putting on a border...she said yes I was and I said no I'm not.....after a few minutes I figured out she was talking about the binding.  There is a quilting group that meets the same time as the knitting group and they told her to tell me to just fold the back over and sew that on for the binding.  I told my wife...NO....I don't do binding that way and not going to start now.  So wife gets mad and says I'm just being difficult.

 

Oh yea...the friend wanted to wash the sheet and top first but sent it to me unwashed so I'm washing the sheet and quilt top now and will put it on the frame this afternoon after pressing the top and sheet.

 

Do I sound unreasonable to you that I won't let them tell me how to do what I do?

 

Yes, I'm a bit bent out of shape this morning.

 


David

 

 

 

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Lol...I'm sorry David.  You've been prayed upon by the unknowing.  The easiest thing to do is to always say "NO".  If you error and say yes then start a list of what they want and how much you charge for it.  By the time you show them the charge they will change their minds.  I always figure if they can change their minds then I can change my mind.  You can tell her it's getting out of hand and you will return to the original request of just quilting the top and she is responsible for the rest.  You can also suggest to your wife that she do the pre-washing, ironing and then finish the binding and see where she sits with that.  Are you pretty fast at ducking?  You may get something thrown at you.

 

My husband always volunteered me for stuff.  Every time someone he was talking to mentioned a new baby coming he would volunteer me to make them a new quilt.  NO...NO...NO!  I will not freely make a baby quilt for someone I do not know.  He was clueless.  The last time he did this I said "sure", but only if you are with me helping every step of the way...from paying for the fabric "we" pick out to cutting, sewing, quilting...the whole thing.  He backed out.  It helped.

 

Good luck!


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Serendipity: The discovery of something wonderful quite by accident while looking for something quite different.

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Since my post I talked with the friend and explained that I had never done a binding that way and had confidence that I could do the way I've always done it.  She said she didn't know anything about quilting and the other quilters just told her it was an easy way to do it was the reason she suggested it.  I told her I was going to do it my way because I wanted her to be totally happy with the quilt when I finished.  She asked if she needed to buy binding and I said no that I had plenty of fabric left over and would fix it.  She is a sweet lady and I don't think she was trying to put anything over on me....it was my wife who ticked me off.  She had been suggesting things to people and I finally told her I appreciated her pushing to get me business but to quit telling them what they needed because it created more work for me....to have them contact me and I would talk with them about what I thought they needed.


David

 

 

 

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"Men are from Mars, Woman are from Venus" as they say.  They speak two close but district languages, where meanings and innuendoes are subtle but severely opposite.  The "get that" to your buddy in the garage clearly means "hand me the socket wrench with a 15mm socket, and get a beer for both of us while your up".

 

Your wife when she told you how to put the border on was trying to be nice, and tell you the easiest way the ladies had decided to bind the quilt.  She does not know and did not use the proper terminology, it was made with no malice towards you.  In hind sight you should have grunt "Ya!", and gone about doing the quilting and binding as you darn well pleased.  She and the ladies would never had know the difference.  

 

Now that you ticked your wife off, I suggest going to the hardware store, pickup some flowers on the way home along with a bottle of her favorite wine, and a "Love You" card.  Then surprise your wife with an invitation to dinner.  While backing of the driveway, remember you forgot something. Leave the her in the car, and place said flowers with card on the kitchen table for her to find upon returning home.  After a lovely dinner; with copious amounts of decadent chocolate cake I might add, followed up by her reading the card along while enjoying a glass of wine, your transgressions will have been forgotten.  Fail to do this, and just like a certain purple elephant with a tiny mouse that will live on for years in our minds, your wife will forever remember the time you were being difficult about finishing a simple quilt for her friend.

 

The Venus-ion translation of "your being difficult...", clearly said everything I explained to you immediately above, along with the final statement of  "resistance is futile..."  

 

Cagey


May your threads be balanced, and your bobbin forever full….

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See, you give them an inch....they take a mile!!!! If I were you, I would send it all back to her with your price list. put a line through the real price, and write in your price you quoted her. Or add up the "real" price, then mark a line through it and write the price you quoted. Tell her that you are quilting for a living, and that all the extras takes time, and time is money. I would not do all the stuff you all talked about her doing. When I get back to bidness....my customers will probably hate me, lol. I really don't care. You are trying to do her a favor, this is careless, and ridiculous.


Mary Beth 

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QUOTE:    Now that you ticked your wife off, I suggest going to the hardware store, pickup some flowers on the way home along with a bottle of her favorite wine, and a "Love You" card.  Then surprise your wife with an invitation to dinner.  While backing of the driveway, remember you forgot something. Leave the her in the car, and place said flowers with card on the kitchen table for her to find upon returning home.  After a lovely dinner; with copious amounts of decadent chocolate cake I might add, followed up by her reading the card along while enjoying a glass of wine, your transgressions will have been forgotten.  Fail to do this, and just like a certain purple elephant with a tiny mouse that will live on for years in our minds, your wife will forever remember the time you were being difficult about finishing a simple quilt for her friend.


LOL....Cagey, you definetly do not know my wife.  She loves flowers but is a tightwad and gripes anytime I do bring her flowers because of the cost.  Last Monday was our 32 anniversary and she finally let me take her out to eat at our favorite steak house....she does not like to eat out.....Neither of us drink alcohol so that's out...she is over it and I'm now over it so all is well.....I got the quilt on the frame and got 4 rows done before I had to quit.  It's looking great and the lady will be happy with it.

I was thinking about maybe buying her some new groovy boards or some new longarm thread but........


David

 

 

 

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OMG.  I never thought of offering to "help" my DH because his "help" always just annoyed the crap out of me.  Now I WILL offer to help so that he understands how it feels.  Oooooooh you guys are sneaky!  I love it!!!


Lora.

Lora in California -  Ultimate I with IntelliStitch and IntelliQuilter.  The Thimble Bee http://www.thimblebee.com

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My husband is so  encouraging to me. He has asked me how much will I charge to make a quilt for someone he knows. He even says I don't charge enough sometimes. By the way He bought me Lucy after even having the Qnique on a frame in my home. BLessed for sure!

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