quiltmonkey Posted February 22, 2008 Report Share Posted February 22, 2008 I rear-ended a car this morning. So there we are alongside the road and slowly the other driver gets out of the car. . . and you know how you just get soooo stressed and life just seems to get funny? Yeah, well, I could NOT believe it…he was a DWARF! He storms over to my car, looks up at me and says, “I AM NOT HAPPY!” So, I look down at him and say, “Well, which one are you then?” That\'s when the fight started. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheri Butler Posted February 22, 2008 Report Share Posted February 22, 2008 ROFLMAO BIG TIME! OMG Shana, you ARE A BUTLER!!!! I am sitting here with my legs squeezed together so dang tight (if you get my message.) I\'d of busted a gutt laughing the minute that came flying out of my mouth! How on gods green earth did you sit there without busting up? I want the rest of the story!!!!!! Your Butler Sister (you know how it is....family always gets the scoop of the story.....) LOL! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quiltmonkey Posted February 22, 2008 Author Report Share Posted February 22, 2008 It was a joke you silly Butla! Not real life. (I didn\'t hit no dwarf) But... now that you ask "what\'s the rest of the story?" Well, maybe that\'s a great idea... ...so you fellow quilters, let\'s continue the dwarf story. What happens next with Mr. Not Happy??? (this should be fun) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheri Butler Posted February 22, 2008 Report Share Posted February 22, 2008 LOL! Mr. Not Happy calls the wicked queen to make you eat the poisoned apple. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickenscratch Posted February 22, 2008 Report Share Posted February 22, 2008 Too funny. I read it to my students. About half of them got it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mary Beth Posted February 22, 2008 Report Share Posted February 22, 2008 You girls are too, too, funny!! I read it and cracked up then read Sheri\'s response and laughed some more...Then my son called and wanted to know what was so funny, so I read it to him and he started laughing... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovetwoquilt Posted February 22, 2008 Report Share Posted February 22, 2008 OMG. ROTFLMAO!!!!! Shanna you are too funny! Thanks for the laugh today....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quiltmonkey Posted February 22, 2008 Author Report Share Posted February 22, 2008 Originally posted by quiltmonkey...so you fellow quilters, let\'s continue the dwarf story. What happens next with Mr. Not Happy??? (this should be fun) ....so Mr. Not Happy starts swingin\' and tries to cold cock me with one of those sucker punches and gets me right in the darned knee cap! Ouch! I just wanted to kick him... so I do... I kick that dwarf and he goes flying into the ditch next to the road...and he starts rolling...kinda like a foot ball... (next???) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MCramer Posted February 22, 2008 Report Share Posted February 22, 2008 ...but unlike a football, he doesn\'t land on his side, he finally comes to rest on the point on top of his head, like a football sits when they do kickoff...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovetwoquilt Posted February 22, 2008 Report Share Posted February 22, 2008 Shanna......stop...I\'m gonna pee my pants at work!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SherryRogers Posted February 22, 2008 Report Share Posted February 22, 2008 Shana couldnt help herself and started rolling on the ground with laughter over and over finally ending up on her Big A$$ Base..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quiltmonkey Posted February 22, 2008 Author Report Share Posted February 22, 2008 Yah, and there I am... lying there on my big A$$ base and I can\'t get up! I\'m stuck! Help! ...and that\'s when I see that dwarf from the side... he\'s running straight at me taking those short little running hops, like dwarfs run... and he\'s really mad, face all red and wrinkled, his long beard looks like it\'s about to trip him up (I hope) and he\'s got his stubby arms and fists facing foward and he\'s getting closer and closer and he\'s about to pounce.... I am stuck laying there on my big A$$ base and I can\'t move... (and I\'m saying to myself "Gosh I wish I didn\'t have this big A$$ base!) Where\'s Jenny Craig when I need her! JENNY!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michaelalan Posted February 22, 2008 Report Share Posted February 22, 2008 I have a dwarf friend, I\'m not gonna get involved with this one, not PC;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mary Beth Posted February 22, 2008 Report Share Posted February 22, 2008 Did I tell you...I\'m a dwarf...and I\'m offended!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quiltmonkey Posted February 22, 2008 Author Report Share Posted February 22, 2008 And all of a sudden, right out of no where, the Travelocity Traveling Gnome comes straight from the sky and he\'s in a hot air balloon and he\'s landing right next to me and hops out ready to help Mr. Not Happy with his fight to kick my Big A$$ Base. Things do not look good for me. I am in super huge trouble now... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ramona-quilter Posted February 22, 2008 Report Share Posted February 22, 2008 Teresa, What grade do you teach? Some of your students didn\'t get the joke? Mary Beth, You are most decidedly NOT a dwarf. You are more like 5\'10" not shorter than 4\'10". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michaelalan Posted February 22, 2008 Report Share Posted February 22, 2008 Let me tell you all something, It\'s funny till your on the other end, one of my other friends has severe burns on her face and body, and is missing most of her fingers on her hands from the fire....a car fire....She would love to sew or quilt but can\'t hold needles and she rarely goes out in public because of the comments people make, or the whispering, she would cry but her tear ducts are gone from the scaring........I would not ever make blank statements about anyone else\'s physical apperance....joke till you pee, I\'m outta here:mad: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SherryRogers Posted February 22, 2008 Report Share Posted February 22, 2008 ..but wait, what is that sound I hear? It looks like a car racing up the road straight towards me. My eyes get larger, my base gets smaller and then I realize it\'s Mary Beth and Michael in their quiltmobile. They have on fabulous trapuntoed capes made of a silk dupioni and then..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quiltmonkey Posted February 22, 2008 Author Report Share Posted February 22, 2008 Mike, this is about the dwarfs with Snow White; like the Keebler elves or Santa\'s helpers. This is not to point fun at human beings or ridicule them, especially those that are hurt or injured. Please, I think you are taking this wrong. I am sorry this is not to hurt people at all. In fact, I know two people who are dwarfed and they are so nice and kind. Why would I try to poke fun at them? No way. This joke is about the Travelocity Gnome and one of Snow White\'s elves... not sure which one it is but maybe we will find out! I do know it\'s not "Happy" and I\'m almost sure it\'s probably "Grumpy" or maybe it\'s one of the blue Smurfs? (just trying to lighten things up a little bit around here...) Sorry about that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michaelalan Posted February 22, 2008 Report Share Posted February 22, 2008 Did you tell your dwarf friends this joke? :(I got the joke? I don\'t think they would like the elaboration on the origional content, some what silly I know, but what about the people you offend with the continuing story? and believe me, there are people out here that are reading this and offinded that someone is making jokes about people like them or someone they love.....something they can\'t change......it\'s ok to tell the joke once, but to elaborate and then change the content to please the reader , now the dwarfs a Elf or Gnome.....Let\'s make fun of other people, Who next????? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SherryRogers Posted February 22, 2008 Report Share Posted February 22, 2008 Jimminy Christmas...stop being a party pooper! If you dont want to play, go quilt! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quiltmonkey Posted February 22, 2008 Author Report Share Posted February 22, 2008 Mike, you are right and I am sorry. When I first invisioned this, I thought it was a Snow White Dwarf, not a human person. I never changed the joke...it always was one of those cartoons with the pointy hat, long beard, curled shoes (at least in my mind that was what I was thinking) This was supposed to be funny about one of snow white\'s elves or something like that, not a human being. It\'s a cartoon guy jumping out of the car with the big pointy hat and long beard down to his ankles. Anyway, I think I said too much here and I may have even offended people who have the Big A$$ base like I do and if I did offend anyone reading this that might have one of these then I am sorry about that, too. Please, forgive my insensitivity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shadows4 Posted February 22, 2008 Report Share Posted February 22, 2008 Ok, you two!! Play nice! Don\'t make me turn the car around! Seriously, Michaelalan: Your caring about your friends is noble, but Shana isn\'t the type to ever try to hurt on purpose. She\'s the one on this forum who builds up and makes us smile. That was her intention today. She also made fun of herself in that story. We can\'t go getting "PC" (which in my experience is censorship) over every thing we don\'t like. I\'m overweight, a woman, a Christian, 50,etc. If I wanted to get upset over every little comment that I perceived was not PC, I\'d be a basket case! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lizziesgirl Posted February 22, 2008 Report Share Posted February 22, 2008 Shana, I needed to laugh and thank you. Well really Sheri\'s response made me laugh even harder. Anywho, my oldest son just came home early from work today because he was in a car accident. He works where they deliver parts and was riding with co-worker to learn the route and hit a car head on. He seems fine but DH and I both felt he should be checked so my MIL is taking him to the hospital. So as far as being offended, me and my big a$$ are staying put. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michaelalan Posted February 22, 2008 Report Share Posted February 22, 2008 Being a Registered Nurse I deal with all kinds of people, I don\'t just care about my friends, I care about hurting other peoples feelings that I don\'t know as well. I\'m not mad at anyone, just pointing out that this thread is like a big room with a micraphone, you walk in, make a statement or tell a joke, all you see is darkness but you know that there is a crowd of people sitting in the seats out there....Joke done, statement said they turn on the lights and OMG!!!!!The joke you just told is about lets say overweight 50+ christian women, The room is a huge auditorium filled with overweight 50+ christian women.......How do you feel now? I know how I would feel? If you had a Dwarf child how would you respond to this kind of joke? Hummm I wonder if anyone thought of that aspect?:):) Just pointing out that this is a public arena to the members of this forum, the room is dark and you don\'t know who is out there listening....:cool: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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