chrisquilter Posted September 9, 2014 Report Share Posted September 9, 2014 Heidi, I will keep her and your family in my prayers too. We have to protect the children. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quilting Heidi Posted September 10, 2014 Author Report Share Posted September 10, 2014 Thank you all for the prayers and compassion for Madison. I can't like anymore today, I've met my quota! LOL I'm sad to see others experiencing the same things. IT is too bad the kids pay the price for their parents not being able to get their acts together. So court today didn't result in a final decision The judge did order that Madison be transferred to the school in BIL's district so that will save him tuition he can't afford and the added transportation, more than 100 miles a week getting her back and forth to school. BIL will enroll her in the school 2 doors from his house. Still have to work out the before and after school care that is needed and will fall on me somewhat. Right now her grandmother is helping, which is a blessing. She goes to FL over the winter. We'll have Madison again every other weekend until they come up with a formal agreement so that is a win for us. I'll also have to help out when BIL is working, but that is going to be tough. He lives an hour from me so that will mean I'll go up and stay at his place. He works 3 days or 4 days, 12 hour shifts. He will trade to work Fridays, Sat.s and Sunday and every other Monday, hopefully or something like that. His schedule rotates so it is complicated at best. My job has agreed to work with me and let me to flex my hours. I will do all I can to make sure Madison succeeds. I really wish her parents would get their acts together. Thanks again everybody! Much appreciated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delld Posted September 10, 2014 Report Share Posted September 10, 2014 Glad to hear the good bits of news. Sounds promising! Hugs from FLA~~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bliss Quilter Posted September 10, 2014 Report Share Posted September 10, 2014 Heidi, Madison will not forget all you do for her. Hang in there, that hour drive will not seem so long after you do it a few times, knowing you will be able to see Madison and help her succeed. I had a Great Aunt/Uncle who did the same thing for me (6 years I would go on weekends and all summer). That is where I learned to sew, DA paid for sewing lessons. Althougth my mother and father never divorced, just too many children for my mother to cope (Bless her soul). I treasure those days that I had that positive influence from my Aunt and Uncle. Even in their last years of DA/U's life, I saw how very proud they were of my success. You are a saint to help out and know we are all praying for you all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quilting Heidi Posted September 10, 2014 Author Report Share Posted September 10, 2014 Heidi, Madison will not forget all you do for her. Hang in there, that hour drive will not seem so long after you do it a few times, knowing you will be able to see Madison and help her succeed. I had a Great Aunt/Uncle who did the same thing for me (6 years I would go on weekends and all summer). That is where I learned to sew, DA paid for sewing lessons. Althougth my mother and father never divorced, just too many children for my mother to cope (Bless her soul). I treasure those days that I had that positive influence from my Aunt and Uncle. Even in their last years of DA/U's life, I saw how very proud they were of my success. You are a saint to help out and know we are all praying for you all. Judith I've been doing the drive for about 5 years now and you are right it is worth it. Usually I go pick her up and come home, about 2 1/2 hours total. I would do whatever I possibly can to give her a better life. It will be different to stay overnight with her and then school, then just over an hour to work and then back after school. I'll have to make it work because it is what is best for her. I watch her mother force her to choose sides and it rips my heart out. My mother did that to me and it is no good. Yesterday our discussion was about the "court lady" coming to see her. It was her law guardian. I explained to her that sometimes the judge needs somebody who isn't on mommy's side or daddy's side and that is why they appoint a special person that is all hers. I assured her that it was ok to tell her anything and that her job was to tell the judge what she wanted. I told her the judge has a hard time sometimes figuring out who to believe and what decision to make and the law guardian helped to iron that all out. I ALWAYS tell her how much her mommy and daddy love her and that is why they are doing this, even though I don't always believe that myself. These kids have enough to deal with without having the added pressure. BIL doesn't ask her to pick sides so I'm thankful for that. He is no saint though and there are things he could do very different when it comes to dealing with her mother. Her mother definitely knows how to push his buttons. Thanks for your story. I hope Madison always knows how much I love her and what we have tried to do. I think the biggest fear I have is that her mother will somehow cut me out of her life, she has tried that is for sure! It is so hard to be in this situation. Legally I have zero say and there is a child's life on the line. I just have to leave that to God that he will always protect her and me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bonnie H Posted September 10, 2014 Report Share Posted September 10, 2014 Heidi, you say Madison's mother is a master at playing the system. With the experience I've had with the courts -- I went through this for years with two children, mine and my husband's -- I've found that those who know how to manipulate the system do it so easily and without emotion because they don't HAVE the emotional involvement/investment tied to the child, so what do they have to lose? It's really sickening. Twenty years ago I finally got the type of drug testing I wanted out of the judge for my daughter's father -- hair follicle testing. Turns out, he refused to take the test and moved away and couldn't be contacted. Years later, when he died a few days before Christmas (my daughter was about 16 when he died), we found out he had been in PRISON for some type of drug charge (trafficking, possessing?, I don't know), and that's why he "moved away." It was a good thing and a bad thing. My daughter hadn't seen her dad since her 6th birthday and 9 or 10 years later he was dead. She always wanted to contact him when she turned 18. In some ways it was a relief for me, but it meant she couldn't see what he really was. I hope for Madison's sake her mother will one day wake up before it's too late for her daughter. Bless you for being such an active part of Madison's life!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quilting Heidi Posted September 11, 2014 Author Report Share Posted September 11, 2014 Bonnie how sad for your daughter! I can understand how you feel about it being a good thing/ bad thing. I would love for both of Madison's parents to grow up and figure it out but if the last 5 years are any indication that isn't going to happen. It is sad that she is the one having to deal with all of this. I try with all my might to give her the comfort she needs, the place to go she needs, the person to talk to that she needs and on and on but it is so hard. I try to be as absolutely honest with her as I can, she is only 7 but sometimes I see that look in her eyes and it makes me so sad. I just always tell her she can tell her Aunt Heidi anything, even if she knows I won't like it. Last week when I said that she said, "well you're not going to like this. Daddy called mommy a bad name and it started with the 'ssss' sound." I said, "stupid?" She shakes her head yes. Then says and it wasn't just that, I braced myself, she says, "and the 'ie' sound." I thought for a minute and said, "Idiot." She said yes. I told her that wasn't nice and we shouldn't talk to anybody that way. Inside I was thankful that it wasn't worse but sad that she had to experience that. Of course then I was very careful to never let her hear me say her mother was a stupid idiot because I'm pretty sure I've said that about both her parents! LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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