sewhappy Posted August 29, 2006 Report Share Posted August 29, 2006 I work part time in a quilt shop in a small town. I LOVE the job! I get to work with fabrics meet people from all over the world, teach classes and still be home with the kids and have lots of time to sew!! I have branched out and am developing and now marketing my quilt patterns. Earlier this year I was fortunate enough to come into some money and bought my self a long arm machine-I traded in my short arm simply because I wanted to be able to quilt larger patterns. I have NEVER really wanted to do machine quilting for others I toyed with idea, my husband even convinced me to get the largest machine because "you never know, you may want to 10 years from now". I have sold enough of my quilts to give me confidence to go into design. I am having the time of my life-My problem? One of the owners appears to be so concerned that I will be doing machine quilting for others she is making me miserable. I have heard her say terrible things about my work to customers in the shop-she has lied to me and her partner-she has put me between the two of them. This is a job that I would go to early, bring treats and tell every one how great it is to work there. I have made it clear that all I want to do is sew for myself and when I confronted her on these things she would flat out lie or tell me I must have heard her wrong. I don't want to leave the shop and have talked to her partner who knows first hand what she is like. Help I need advise. or at least some comfort. has any one else expirerenced any thing like this?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thequiltqueen Posted August 29, 2006 Report Share Posted August 29, 2006 Dear sewhappy; I don't know what this person's problem is, but I'm betting you can't change her. So the question is, do you LOVE the job enough to ignore her treatment of you, or do you leave to concentrate on developing and marketing your own patterns?? People like her suck the energy out of me when I am around them and I would be afraid that she would undermine my confidence in myself even away from the workplace. Good Luck whatever you decide to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Linda S Posted August 29, 2006 Report Share Posted August 29, 2006 Don't let the turkey get you down. Do your best to ignore her and continue with your blissful existence. No one can make you feel small unless you let them (I think Eleanor Roosevelt said that). Linda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GERRY Posted August 29, 2006 Report Share Posted August 29, 2006 Dearest Sewhappy: I'm so sad for you, :(you found a place that makes you happy, & there is a nastey snake in your garden. I to had a person like that in my work life. I did everything I could think of to make it work, like most gals I know. I finally had to quit (in tears I might add). What I learned (after the crying was done)was that this person was very "JEALOUS" of me, she was my opposite in every way, & no matter what I would have done (short of dying) it would not have made any differance. Lesson 2 was that after I left that job, I found a far better one, with more pay & better working enviroment. (Silver linning) Now the way I see it, you have 3 choices, 1. live with "The Pain In The Butt" & make nice no matter what, or untill the day you have had enough. You could try haveing a heart to heart with her, I tried that 3 times, didn't work for me, but you neaver know. 2. tell/ ask the other boss, that she need's to get T.P.I.T.B. off your back it's bad for business, that kind of negativity will be picked up by the customers, & will make them uncomfortabel, not to mention what it's doing to you. 3 decide that you have far to much talent & intellagence to stay & be abused by T.P.I.T.B. & you are off the find a more peaceful way to make a living. There must be other options in the quilting feild, more shops and such, look around see if you can find something that could be an improvement, you never know. Oh. & one other thing I learned is that my DH couldn't help, no matter how many times I talked to him about it, he did listen, he even tried to give me advice, but men handle things far differantly then gals do, I had to figure this one out on my own. Best of luck with this problem, I hope things will get better for you very soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CherylUribe Posted August 29, 2006 Report Share Posted August 29, 2006 Sounds like you've done what you can. IGNORE her. Move on, forget about it. The less energy you give to the negativity, the faster it will go away. Prove her wrong quietly and gracefully! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GERRY Posted August 30, 2006 Report Share Posted August 30, 2006 I agree Cheryl: But T.P.I.T.B. may infact get worse, in my experiance these things rarely resolve themselves if you ignore them. Because of her jealousy, & Sewhappy's talents she finds Sewhappy threating. Even if Sewhappy calls P.I.T.B. on her behaviour, things may not get better. If Sewhappy can find a way to get T.P.I.T.B. to be friends & play nice, she may be able to resolve the situation, though I belive that the P.I.T.B. may not even know why she is behaving this way, so changing her behaviour may not be possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susanri Posted August 30, 2006 Report Share Posted August 30, 2006 sit down have lunch with her and confront her! and be honest! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phyllis Posted August 30, 2006 Report Share Posted August 30, 2006 It all boils down to jealousy.......plain and simple. Too bad that there has to be such petty people in our little garden of Paradise, but they're there and you just have to walk around them. Most of the time confronting them does no good because they honestly don't realize that they are jealous. Even trying to ignore them does not make them go away!! Hopefully, your friends know her ways and ignore her and her comments. O.K., so I'm in a mellow mood...in another mood I would suggest ripping her head off and turning around to take a bow when you're applauded.!:cool: Good luck with however you decide to handle the situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GERRY Posted August 31, 2006 Report Share Posted August 31, 2006 I'm with you Phillis: :mad: The more you try to ignore it the worse she will get, & will probably blame it all on Sewhappy to boot. I would try to make an effort to be kind, & polite, buy her lunch or coffee (didn't work for me) if that dosen't work, that to will probably make her worse, I don't see any way out of this one. Good luck girl, I'm pulling for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sewingupastorm Posted August 31, 2006 Report Share Posted August 31, 2006 First I want to say that she is not going to fire you. That said I think you really need to just let her know that you know what she is saying about your work. To me it sounds like jelousy. Likely she wishes she had your talent and a longarm of her own. There are some people that actually feel better about their own shortcommings by making other people look bad when in reality they only make themselves look worse. As for your work.......................................let it speak for itself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mary Beth Posted August 31, 2006 Report Share Posted August 31, 2006 Jealousy is a bad thing. I was fired from my job as a church secretary just after I bought my machine because another secretary that I worked closely with had a degree in fashion design. When I bought my machine, I was living her dream without a degree. Jealousy took over and I was "let go". It has taken a long time to get over losing that job because it was also my church. Anyway, hold yourself upright. Do the right thing. Work in a manner that makes you proud of yourself. Then whatever happens, happens, at least you will be proud of the way you handled the situation and yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
larryrr Posted August 31, 2006 Report Share Posted August 31, 2006 You girl are right!!!!! We would have kicked some other guy's butt for doing that..If I was you I would just tell her that you know what kind of person she is and and how jealous that she must be to do and say thing's that she does about you ...and that you will not have ..and do not... need that kind of person in your life..A snake is a snake and you cant change them ! ..know matter how hard you.try .and if it keeps biting you.. why would you keep playing with it?.......just a man's point of view:cool: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shadows4 Posted August 31, 2006 Report Share Posted August 31, 2006 I worked at a place where I had so many knives in my back there wasn't room for any more. I did a lot of praying about how to handle it. He helped me to see this person in a different light: she felt threatened by me for some reason and had low self esteem. So against everything I would normally do, I started trying to figure out her good points and started to compliment her on those. Not meaningless or fake compliments, but real ones. The first time I did, she looked startled, so I kept it up. There was such a huge difference in her after that. She no longer seemed to feel threatened by me and the atmosphere around there even changed. Maybe this gal feels you are some type of threat, because of her insecurities. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shirl Posted August 31, 2006 Report Share Posted August 31, 2006 Sewhappy, This is a case of jealousy and by making you look bad she thinks she is making herself look better than you. Don't put up with it (I speak from experience, In my case the stress finally caught up with me and I ended up in the hospital with heart problems that nearly killed me! The doctors said it was caused from job related stress...) I ended up quiting the job but I asked to see my file. On the first page my boss had written that she thought I was out to get her job... Well, now I work at my longarm quilting business, make a few quilts and I'm happy as a lark. I'm glad she forced me to quit that job because this is where I was meant to be! Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grammie Posted August 31, 2006 Report Share Posted August 31, 2006 Like Cheryl says, don't give in to negativity. Keep a wonderful smile on your face and Sew and QUILT for whomever you darn well please. Again do it with a GREAT BIG SMILE!!! People who are negative usually get me going in an even more Positive direction. It motivates me. I thrive. That's me. Tell me I can't and I'll find a way somehow and will enjoy the journey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Judi Posted August 31, 2006 Report Share Posted August 31, 2006 Oh Tammie - as if you need any more motivation! You are wild! Back to SewHappy - I feel for you. I agree with almost everything that has been said. At times you will be able to smile and walk away, head held up high, but that does get hard. Just do not stoop to her level and play her games. I hope it all works out for you - and you will again be HAPPY while you are at work too! I was never good at playing politics in the office - not for me! We are all here - ready to type any comforting thoughts we can - "Hang in there little camper!" Things will work out in the end - I'm positive! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katie.mac Posted September 1, 2006 Report Share Posted September 1, 2006 Sew Happy, It sounds like so many of us have gone through this same experience! Listen to your own heart and do whatever is right for you. Some people can ignore it while others take it pretty hard and can even get sick from the stress. Do what is right for you. If you must quit, have faith that you are doing the right thing and will soon get a better job. If you decide to stay, have faith that you are blessing everyone else by being there. Life is too short to live in unhappiness. Katie http://community.webshots.com/user/katiemcgraw Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrsbishwit Posted September 1, 2006 Report Share Posted September 1, 2006 Does the quilt shop do long arm quilting for their customers? If they do she might be thinking that you will take business away from the shop if you ever decide to go into business for yourself. If you still want to work there explain to this person that you don't intend to do quilts for others and your word should be good enough. If she continues to lie and be vindictive inform her that she left you with no other choice but to go into business for yourself because she made working for the shop unbearable and that she made her worst fears reality because she wouldn't accept your word. Good Luck Joann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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