NQR- Job worries

[chickenscratch]

What would you do if you were afraid to go to your job?

THe reason I ask is that were two school shootings in Memphis last week, at two different high schools; and I just saw on the news that there was another one today. These are in Memphis, and at high schools; but they are gang related, and it\'s the same gangs we are dealing with in our school, which is only about 40 miles from Memphis.

I\'m getting really scared that something terrible is going to carry over into our school, since so many of these kids are affiliated with these Memhis gang members.

I guess there\'s nothing I can do, but needed to get it off my chest.

[suzanna]

Hi Teresa,

I work as a Para in Duluth. We don\'t have it in our contract, but I know that insome areas, if you are threatened by something and you don\'t want to go to work, you have the option not to go to work. Working at a school can be very scary, but hang in there. Let me know how things work out...

[appr216]

I hope you stay very safe as I know the schools seem to be targets.

[quiltmonkey]

Teresa, you say there is nothing you can do?? Whaaat? Absolutely there is something you can do. Do not bend over and allow these bullies to take over.

How do you spell "School?" It\'s spelled "SAFE!"

School should ALWAYS be a safe place! For everyone; students and teachers.

This needs to be nipped in the bud now.

Teresa, it sounds like you, your fellow teachers & your students all know who the gangsters are in your schools in Finley area. Perhaps there is something you all can do together (between now and when something horrible might happen) to prevent and mitigate any violence in your schools.

I\'m not a teacher or a principal, and I\'m not a parent or a student... but there are powers in numbers and power comes with honest, forthright communication and intolerance is power, too. Use these all to your advantage and find steps to mitigate anything from ever happening in your school. School is no place for gangsters. I say get \'em outa there! Tell everyone in that school that if you are a gangster here, beware that your actions will not be tolerated. You are not allowed. This is not your "turf" to play your games.

You might reply back to me by saying "But, but..but...but...Everyone has a right to an education and we can\'t kick gangsters out." Well, ha to that! I say "Everyone has a right to a safe place to learn, so if you wanna be a gangsta then skool is not for you!" Go some place else to be violent. School is not for that.

Here is a simple math equation that even an uneducated and narrow minded gangster can figure out:

Gangstas + School = No

[chickenscratch]

Shana,

Speak sounds great, We\'ve all been preaching it.

The powers that be say they can\'t afford more officers in schools, they can\'t catch every problem, they can\'t discriminate against certain individuals, blah, blah, blah.

Also, I wish I worked in Finley school. It is a very safe place to be, as are all of our Dyer County schools. That\'s why we live here. I WORK in Lauderdale County, which is much closer to Memphis in demographics, and location.

I would love to see somebody say no gang bangers can go to our schools, but there is always an excuse from somebody higher up.

[quiltmonkey]

OK, sure you can\'t protect everyone from everything. And, I understand your response about there "always being an excuse from someone higher up" but I\'d like to know what that so-called "higher up\'s" excuse will be when he/she needs to explain why he/she allowed some parent\'s kid to be murdered by a gangster because they didn\'t have enough funding, or didn\'t have enough resources to protect the students or didn\'t have "yadda yadda yadda" (fill in any excuse here).

I wonder what they would say then?

Sorry, but I don\'t buy that BS.

[chickenscratch]

You and me both, but the fact remains that this is the state of many public schools today, especially those in Urban or suburban locations. And any place where organized gangs and drugs have moved in have more of a risk. It is just frustrating because the parents are blaming the schools for not protecting the kids, the school admin is blaming parents fo letting their kids get mixed up in the gangs and stuff, the police are blaming parents and schools, and government agencies are blaming everybody else. Nobody wants to take responsibility for getting gangs out of areas. Nobody wants to know where their kid is and who he or she is with. Nobody wants to let teachers and administrators administer consequences when kids do wrong. It is a bad situation. I\'m just afraid it is going to keep getting worse,and get down to the lower grades.

Sorry, I\'ll get off my soapbox now.

[Farmwife Darlene]

Teresa I am so sorry to hear this. I will definitely put you in my prayers. My daughter is student teaching right now. She wants to teach high school history. She LOVES teaching but hates the attitudes that many of the students have. Please be safe and just be aware. I know about the "politics" of schools and govt. It isn\'t right and it isn\'t fair but we are in a society now that doesn\'t want to accept responsibility and we have failed our children by not teaching them respect, responsibility and accountablility.

My soapbox.......................

Just know you are loved and lifted up in prayers.

[Quilting Heidi]

Ok my kids are grown but I think our biggest problem is that parents need to be parents and we need to take control! Right now in the public schools the kids have control and everybody is worried about a law suit and if we don\'t get control it will only get worse. I\'m appauled at what teachers put up with in schools these days. I think that if kids can\'t behave and be respectful then they don\'t deserve to go to regular school. I\'m all for alternative schools where there are no privledges and kids learn what a priviledge they have lost! Kids are too used to getting their way and having choices. I\'m really sorry that you have to be afraid to go to school and I\'m really sorry for the good kids there that have to deal with things they have to face these days.

Oh boy I\'m sorry but I get so disgusted with parents who aren\'t responsible and I see so many cases where parents say it isn\'t their kids fault and what they deserve. These kids that get guns and have no parental guidance aren\'t to blame but the adults in their lives are. How could a parent not know that their children have a gun or that they are in gangs. I am amazed when my friends let their 12 year olds stay out until 11 pm or run around looking like street walkers and then they are amazed when they get in trouble! My kids are in their early 20\'s and raising them was hard but boy am I glad we were involved with them and kept an eye out for them. I would be at the school organizing a parent patrol to make it safe! When there is a will there is a way like Shana says. Ok I\'m off my soapbox.

[chickenscratch]

Heidi, You voiced everything I wanted to say perfectly.

I was also very involved when the older boys were growing up; and Joshua (15 years old) hates me some days because I want to know where he is going, who he is with, who he\'s text messaging and talking to on his cell phone. I also expect him to make A\'s and B\'s, and I don\'t bail him out if he gets in trouble at school.

Am I a perfect parent? Heck no! Have my boys ever gotten into trouble? Of course, but nothing like these kids are getting into.

The news is on right this minute and they are talking to parents of kindergarten students who have had their kids come home talking about guns and gangs. These people are concerned parents who want something stronger in the schools and want parents held accountable. The school board and superintendent are making excuses, saying they can\'t pay cops and parents are afraid to come and volunteer. So again, nothing is being accomplished. It\'s disgusting.

I have the feeling it is going to become national news, because things are starting to get really ugly in the Memphis City School system.

[quiltmonkey]

I think it boils down to this:

1) Parents are responsible for the actions and behaviors of their children (whether they are good kids or they are gangsters). Don\'t matter what they are. Parents are responsible for raising their kids. If they don\'t want to take responsibility, that should not fall on to the school\'s shoulders. Sheesh!

2) Teachers and school administrators are responsible for providing a safe place for learning. If that means NO GANSTAS ALLOWED in SKOOL then so be it.

If parents don\'t want to take responsibility for their wayward children then what a crying shame...those gangsters are lost souls. What a waste of human life. But, it\'s their choice (the parents and the gangster kids) if they\'ve allowed their kids to live lifestyles like this. The line has to be drawn somewhere.

For every good or bad choice you make there is a consequence. You make the choice. You get the consequence.

There comes a time when you gotta take a strong stand for what is right and quit pussyfooting around with this garbage. Strength in numbers: Parents, students and teachers unite for the cause to protect what is right.

Nuff said. I think my soap box just broke from standing on it too long....

[QuiltsbyNini]

Teresa,

This is precisely the reason I now home school my two youngest. My 7 year old daughter was THREATENED by a classmate. He told her that he and his \'gang\' were going to kill her and her little brother because they were \'mixed people\'. (first of all, we have had then both since the youngest was 6 months old, she was only 16 months old and she never realized she was \'mixed\') The school refused to take it seriously because there was no unpartial confirmation.

They did however say they would send a note home to the boys parents, but that was a lesson in futility! (I mean, the boy had to hear that kind of talk somewhere, 7 year olds are not born hating people!) Even after I threatened to sue, they didn\'t think the problem was bad enough to intervene. After the second threat, I took action on my own. I took the only second grade student to score 100% on her standardized tests out of school! Between her and her brother (a special ed student) the school board lost a good chunk of change.

I did find out that the little boy in question has a teenage brother that has recently been expelled from school for gang violence. My husband is a police officer and sees this stuff all the time. Parents won\'t take the responsibility of parenting the kids, and we have raised a generation of kids that think they shouldn\'t have to take responsibility for anything they do, and that the world owes them a living!

OK... I\'ll get off my soapbox now.

jeanne Morris

[chickenscratch]

Wow, this is turning out to be a hot topic. I am glad that so many of you can understand what I\'m talking about.

Jeanne, you\'re right. Nothing is taken seriously. I had a kid two years ago kidney punch me. I went to the hospital. He went home for the rest of the day. When I said I wanted to press charges, suddenly nobody saw anything. It was my word against his. The school did not take it seriously. The boy told the principal that he tripped and fell into me.

This year I and the teacher across the hall have both been threatened. Again, none of the other students will come forward; they\'re scared to.

And the superintendent is so scared of a lawsuit that he always sides with the student. At least he will be out of there in Dec. 2008. I hope the next one has a strong backbone and is not a scaredy cat.

I\'m going to bed, in case there is school tomorrow. I\'m doing my snow dance, but I just watched the weather, and it\'s not very promising.

[ffq-lar]

Scarey, scarey, Teresa.

We (baby boomers) have raised our kids to feel entitled. We told them since they were old enough to pee-pee in the potty that they were great, perfect, good job princess, way-to-go champ, yadda yadda. Dr. Spock told us not to bruise their self-esteem. And heaven forbid if we ever spanked or raised our voices--don\'t want hurt feelings, you know! Those of us who raised good kids (I hope I am one) probably had a way to let the child know that Mom and Dad were the boss and make the rules. They were involved, hovering, snoopy parents--as parents should be.

Now, the gangsters are a different story. They get their self-esteem and identity from the gang. The family unit is so broken that even the best-intentioned parent may not have the time or resources to step in and stop the progression into a gang. But bravery comes in many forms and pushing gangs out and offering something else to boost these lost kids lives must be a priority. But how to muster up the nerve and push down the fear to take that step? I don\'t know.

I am fearful for you, Teresa--and not just that you or a friend may come to harm, but that you have to deal with the fear every day. That fear is as damaging and harder on you as it will wear you down. It is an outrage in our country--- that you serve the public and are afraid.

Love and hope coming your way,

Linda

[jajab]

Teresa,

I will do a snow dance for you also. So sorry to hear that you fear going to work. No one should have to feel that way. I can\'t believe the number of parents that don\'t know what going on in their kids lives. I have a 13 year old and we were talking tonight about school and he can\'t believe how some of the kids talk, swearing every other word. It is unreal.

I have a brother who is a teacher down in AZ. He has never said that they have any major problems, but with a town of 80,000+ (I believe) there has got to be some problems. He teaches in high school. When my son was in 4th grade two of the boys were not getting along and one threatened to cut the other one thankfully the teacher and school took it seriously and suspened the kid. Scary to think about. Of course he said that he wouldn\'t have done it. I was in a class with his parents and so I heard some of their side on how his behavior had changed, plus I got my sons side of the story. I believe this year the two boys are friends. I know that my son is friends now with the one who threatened the other boy. He\'s a good kid but was having a hard time adjusting to a new school and all. Through a teacher I was able to relay some of the reasons other kids were picking on him and it seems like the issues were resolved. Which I am glad to hear. The parents are very involved in the kids lives and I think he was having trouble communicating with them.

Last month some kids were suspened for drug possession. Which is scary because the one (8th gr) lives just down the road from us. Every community has their problems. But having parents that are held accountable for their childrens actions would be a good thing. How can you not know what they are doing and who they are with. I live in a small town (under 800) and am surprised at some of the things I hear these kids do in the elementary grades even.

Unfortunately too many of us get caught up in our own lives and forget that we have kids that are watching and that we are responsible to teach them right from wrong. It\'s a scary world.

Hopefully the new Super will have a backbone and be able to help you out more. I can understand why people are hesitant to get involved. I don\'t agree with it but I can understand I guess.

Shana I fixed the soap box so I could use it but I broke it too so I will stop now.

Angela

[SandraG]

I will have to chime in on this one. I have degrees in both education and educational administration. I loved teaching school and also working in administration. However, I was teaching less and less the last few years I worked in a school. State and federal paperwork is becoming overwhelming for teachers. As, a special education teacher there were many times that I would have to stop my lesson so I could make sure "paperwork" was done at once on a student who would be getting suspended or being sent homebound (due to disciplinary reasons). This forum is not the place to air my feelings about our educational system in the US. Suffice it to say that administrators and educators can not just simply stop kids from going to school. The main reason is b/c of state and federal laws. A simple example would be: A student is identified as having a behavior disorder. Said student is protected under the People with Disabilities Act (or what we used to call PL 94142 (name has changed )). If said student "acts out" and it is related to his/her disability that student must still be provoded services. In some areas of the country the only place to provide those services is in the local public school.

I AM NOT SAYING I AGREE WITH THE LAW. However, public schools (and private schools that receive federal funds) can not always get rid of "bad seeds." Yes, many parents, teachers, administrators etc. all need to do a better job. The bottom line (great thread by the way) is that there is not really an easy fix for schools. Many, many things have to happen for our public educational systems to become really great.

I seem to be rambling. This is normal for me when it comes to discussing education. I no longer work in the school system. The stress I experienced was affecting my health. I brought the problems of my students home with me. The politics of the system frustrated me. I wanted to just teach my students and I could not really do that.

Ok my ranting is over. I just do not want everyone to think that it is easy to "clean up" schools that need help. There are many hidden factors involved and until things change beginning at the federal level, I fear that many more effective teachers, as well as at risk students, will be lost.

[SandraG]

Oh, by the way I now own a retail quilt shop and quilt on a Millie, Freedom and a George. I have been cancer free for 4 months and I am having a blast now. My life is great!!!!

[annlittle1]

Our grandchildren are living with us now (ages 2 and 10 months) and I\'m already thinking about home schooling them. I would never have considered it for my own children. But its a different world now. It terrifies me that I could take them to school one day and have one or both of them killed by a classmate that brought a gun or a knife to school that day.

Theresa, I feel for you. I wish I had words of wisdom that could help you. I will say that working in a place of fear or extreme stress will wear you down much more than you realize.

Take care

[Susanne.Hughes]

Hello Teresa,

I am sorry that you feel unsafe and worried to go back to work. Everyone has the right to feel safe no matter where they are or what they are doing.

Coming from a country that has very strict laws concerning gun controls, I always find it hard to belief and it always surprises me, that people will casticate parents for "lack of control" over their children, but nobody seems to want to face the fact that these weapons of mass destruction are so readily available to anyone, including children. Yes, as parents we need to communicate with our children, teach them right from wrong and guide them towards wise decisions. However, it does not change the fact that children still have access to these weapons in the first place.

Our country was outraged when the US National Gun Association was going to spend over $4million dollars to try and have our gun laws defeated when they were introduced by our Government of the time (a conservative one) in Australia. (1990\'s) We just had a very "successful" massacre in which over twenty people had died. (Port Arthur Massacre) No one in Australia believes they are any worse off or that their personal freedoms have been ursurped because we cannot have selections of weapons of mass dstruction in our homes! If anyone wants to learn how to shot a gun, they join a gun club. Guns are still available to those members of the community that have an actual need for one, such as police officers, security guards farmers etc. It is against the law for any business to sell knifes or blades to people aged under 18 years of age. Once again, we don\'t feel that our freedoms have been eroded. We know however, that someone who does have a gun really is a "baddie".

We loved our two years we were stationed in the States. We found the idea of having to look in certain suburbs to qualify for the "better"schools very foreign. We wanted out children to learn the good bits about Americans, the way they thought, their culture, their believes. We were lucky for them to go to a school that didn\'t have the need for metal detectors. (MY husband was asked to give a presentation about Australia at the local school down the road and we were very aware that a boy had been knifed to death there the prior week.) The friendships we made in the US of A are lifelong ones and we will always come back to visit. I hope that this thread is taken as the musings from a friend, not somone who is anti american, or anti personal freedoms.................. I am just anti guns!

It is a modern phenomenum that most parents have to work and that many children come from broken homes (not even discussing crack head or uncaring parents here!) This means that schools, whether they like to or not, have to accept a greater responsibility on the "raising"of children. It just seems a whole lot easier to do, if there isn\'t the worry of the ready availability of weapons. Does that mean Australian Schools are better? No, we also have our problems, but our students and our teachers and administrators can go to work without the worry of being gunned down whilst doing their jobs.

Teresa, I hope that all is well for you and that something will be done to make things better at work for you and the thousands of other Eduation professionals. It just makes us so sad over here when we hear of another futile loss of young lifes.

Regards and always in our thoughts,

Susanne

PS.................. Sorry about the length of these musings!!

[SandraC]

Oh, Teresa, my heart goes out to you, to be so scared of going to work!

I hope my thoughts don\'t offend anyone, remember I\'m in a different country where guns aren\'t quite the problem as in the States...yet. We have had some school incidents and scares but not to the extent that you face. Here\'s my thought...I know it\'s in your constitution to bear arms...but can the constitution be changed ...should people have the right to bear arms??? I know there would be many that would be outraged at the thought but is there a point where enough is enough? I remember watching Bowling for Columbine and seeing some of the reaction to how different it can be in Canada. I live in a small rural community where there is little violent crime and I cherish the "Mayberry" type of mentality that is still here. I know I may sound naive...sorry about that.

[lizziesgirl]

Our children were in private schools until 5 yrs ago when our oldest wanted to go to public school for his last 2 yrs. We discussed which school would be the best and I really wanted a school with structure. Lucky for us we have an awesome Charter school 6 miles away and was able to get the kids in there. They go to a public school with private school structure. There is absolutely NO tolerance for violence, name calling or any of the other crap the public school system deals with. They wear uniforms and the teachers give respect and demand respect back. Just like school was when we were kids. We need to give the teachers back the ability to disapline(sp?). I don\'t mean that they should paddle a kid but they should be able to put little Tommy in the time out or Big Tommy put in detention and watched like a hawk and shown options of proper behavior. Our society needs to get back to the basics of treating each other as we would want to be treated and some of these kids have no clue. If it can\'t be taught in school then they will probably never learn it, wind up dead or in the prison system and what a waste.

Teresa, Many, many prayers for you and your fellow co-workers, students and parents.

[Quilting Heidi]

Ok so here I go again! This is a hot topic and one that just gets my blood boiling. I certainly understand the desire to want to rip your child out of a public school as I too went through this. However I think if the answer is to take the good kids out and leave the school to be then the problem is not being dealt with and the problems are winning. Instead I took my time that I would have spent with my children at home teaching them and spent them volunteering in the schools. Some teachers handled this better than others but I can be pretty persistent. I even went against the school board on a military institution and won when they were trying to change the curriculum to a semester compressed course system (block scheduling) instead of the traditional daily classes without telling the parents! I was furious that we were not told about this, especially when you have kids that are already having to move every 3 years or less and you know what they don\'t move you during the summer only! Anyway I started a petition and then presented it to the board. I had formed a committee of parents and we each did our own portion of the research and printed off a lot of literature and presented our findings to the shcool board. The school board voted unanimously with the parents and the adminstration was furious because school had recessed for the summer and all the schedules had to be redone for the middle school and the high school. I was almost banned completely from the school and everytime I came to the school to volunteer the principal would come to greet me! Didn\'t slow me down I would just smile and say hello. We have to be able to stand up for what is right no matter how hard it is. If we let them win by just taking our kids or us out of the school then the problem will ok get worse. Eventually you have to deal with these people because they will be part of our society no matter what! I agree with Shanna whole heartly and I say get involved and make it change!!!! It can be done but it takes a lot of work and effort. Get a committee going and figure out ways that you can help resolve the problems. Ok I\'m done.

[Mary Beth]

Sandra, yeah for you....how exciting that you are cancer free!! And it sounds like you are doing something you love to do, another yippee!!

As for the schools, I appreciate every teacher we have. There is no way I could have done what you all do every day. My hat is off to you all!!

Linda, I agree with you about the baby boomers pumping up our children. But we are not the only ones. Seems each generation is more and more forgiving with their children. My mom\'s idea about Dr. Spock\'s book...put it the childs chair at dinner to help them reach the table. She didn\'t like Dr. Spock. My mom had "the look", we knew it and knew not to cross it. I don\'t think mom\'s have "the look" any more. They count! Ha, that really works....ever been in a store where a mom counts....man, what a stupid system. There, and I don\'t like the word "stupid".

If parents are not being parents their kids will take over. I think that is what is happening and we can\'t leave it up to the teachers to try to make them mind.

I was pretty strict with my kids. My son brought home a Montly Crue (I can\'t even spell it) tape from his dad\'s one weekend. I made him give it to me and I didn\'t give it back till he went back to his dad\'s. Told him not to ever bring it back. A girl I worked with told me that I couldn\'t do that:o What??? That was my kid....I also wouldn\'t let him wear a Bart Simpson shirt to church one Wednesday night. It just said "Don\'t have a cow, man", but I didn\'t think it was appropriate. Gosh, wonder what Dr. Spock thought of me.

[bobbi]

WOW! this is all so true and scary!

I am so happy my own children are grown, however my younger son (40) is a Detective with LAPD and is in a "gang unit". He\'s never been busier. By the way Theresa, he\'s my son who HATED me the most and LOVED me the most! I was very strict with my boys because I was a single parent. I kept them in sports, studying, and all kinds of activities to keep them so busy they never had time for trouble. Yes, I spanked them too. Not often, but if they were way out of control. We had a LOT of fun, and we love each other dearly.... I have a hard time understanding parents who don\'t have time for their kids. That was all I did for 14 years! well, actually you never stop.

I hate what you are feeling, I had a stalker once, and it makes you feel sooo vulnerable - all the time! You feel completely vulnerable to the circumstances and it\'s hard to concentrate and just live. I will tell you to be vigilent. Always know your surroundings, yes, everywhere and all the time. It\'s a terrible thing to have to do, but it could save your life.

And, yes, get involved. Help make the change. Tell everybody, even the newspapers. Do what ever you can to to help stop this.

What a great topic. you have all our prayers and God\'s protection.

[RitaR]

I\'ll be praying..

RitaR