PattyJo Posted December 24, 2008 Report Share Posted December 24, 2008 Today, my friends needed to go up to Portland to sit with their sister while her husband had a very difficult surgery. It took them over 2 hrs to get there and when they came home, it was 3 1/2 hrs because of the roads. I've lived here 21 years, they have lived here 40+ years and neither of us have ever seen the roads this bad. It's a snow base, with freezing rain, then more snow then more freezing rain. I'm so glad that I didn't try to drive to Spokane. I maybe would have made it by New Years!!! Everyone that lives in this part of the country, please take care of yourself and if you have to drive - drive very carefully. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quilting Heidi Posted December 24, 2008 Report Share Posted December 24, 2008 Paty Jo, I'm sure you are disappointed to not spend Christmas with your daughter but you are being very smart to stay put! There are a lot of people in the same boat. We're lucky the roads here are in very good shape. We are in for ice in the am and then rain. I'm sure that will mean an ugly commute. If it is really bad I won't drive into work. I'm hoping to just delay an hour if needed. I really need to work! Just have too much to catch up with since I've had to take so much time off to help my mom. At least I only have to work until 2! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lindasewsit Posted December 24, 2008 Report Share Posted December 24, 2008 Yes!!! Stay put!! I just got home from our office Christmas party and it is not good here either!! Icey rain and the roads and the sidewalks are really bad! It is supposed to turn to rain tomorrow, but the folks out tonight need to be oh! so careful!! What you'll probably get tomorrw, Heidi!! Take care all!!! linda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quilting Heidi Posted December 24, 2008 Report Share Posted December 24, 2008 Linda it is supposed to warm up to 41 so it should change to rain. It will probably turn to ice tomorrow night night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PattyJo Posted December 24, 2008 Author Report Share Posted December 24, 2008 Oh and I forgot to tell you that this is normally a 35 to 40 min drive. So much for normal!!! Heidi, drive careful and cherish the time with your mom. I didn't appreciate all that my mom did for me until she was gone, then it was too late to let her know. She knew that I loved her and wanted to take care of her, but I wished that I had expressed to her that I realized all the sacrifices that she had made for me. Mom's spend the first part of our lives doing all they can to help us and I wished that I had more years to help my mom - Good Lord, I'm getting sappy. Sorry about that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lindasewsit Posted December 24, 2008 Report Share Posted December 24, 2008 It's just that sappy time of year!!:) linda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quiltmonkey Posted December 24, 2008 Report Share Posted December 24, 2008 Anything involving snow + freezing rain + more snow + more rain on top of that = a major driving disaster. That's like putting an ice cube in a teflon skillet and watching it slip around. I stay cozy and safe at home. Maybe I play in the kitchen and make those pecan bars and watch movies on TV or go sew and quilt. Better than out driving in that stuff with a bunch of ding dongs on the road who have no clue what they're doing. Patty Jo, rest assured that you were meant to stay safe at home this Christmas. There are reasons why and your guardian angel knows. I'm thinking of you and sending good thoughts and hugs. Love, Shana Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BethDurand Posted December 24, 2008 Report Share Posted December 24, 2008 Pat, I'm sorry that you aren't with your daughter at this time of year, and this year especially, but I think that Shana has summed it up (again!) with her warmth and graciousness. Stay home, stay safe, have a good cry. Thinking of you, praying for you, wishing you all the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quilting Heidi Posted December 24, 2008 Report Share Posted December 24, 2008 Pat, I do cherish the time with mom but she makes it very difficult. We have had a rough relationship since I was little. I try to please but no matter what I don't. It is very frustrating to be there for somebody who takes out all the frustrations on you and says horrible things and then the next minute acts so sweet and nice. I love my mom and I know she loves me, she just doesn't make it easy. I hate to fight and argue but she thrives on it. I really try not to get into the trap but invaribly it goes south real quick. I'm really trying. THe holidays bring out the worst in her. She hates that my brothers don't talk to each other and I'm the healer in the family that is always supposed to fix everything. I can't fix this. My brothers are both alcoholics and choose to let it control their lives. Makes it very frustrating to be in the middle of. I'd love to run away and never turn back but I couldn't do that to my mother. It is tempting though! Hopefully it will lessen soon. Mom will most likely go to my oldest brothers tomorrow and maybe to my younger brother. She'll show up to my house at some point, more than likely when it is convenient to her. Its really ok though, I'm used to it and really it is less stressful at my house when she comes quickly and leaves. Sorry don't mean to be a downer on this one but it is just one of those things. I'm really thinking next year we may pack up and go away for the holidays. That would be hard though as we also take in my MIL who may or may not come tomorrow for dinner. Hopefully I'll know tonight. Be safe and enjoy your friends and sorry that you can't get to your daughters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PattyJo Posted December 24, 2008 Author Report Share Posted December 24, 2008 Heidi, I'm so sorry about your relationship with your mom and brothers. My family is also very disfunctional. Only after Bill passed did my sister get ahold of me. It has been 6 or more years since I've had even a short conversation with her. It was a "walking on eggshells" relationship since our childhood never knowing if today would be the day that I was pond scum, or be her best friend. I finially at about age 45 determined that I would never know, but I could control me. Not that I'm good at it all the time, but I can only be responsible for my mouth and my actions. She said she would be different from now on, but I'm not holding my breath. I've learned to not have any expectations where she is concerned. I love her and in her way I know that she loves me, but in the mean time, I'm done trying to fix it. I'll just be who I am and hopefully one day, she will figure it out. Now will all the normal families chime in here? I would love to see what one looks like!!:cool: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quiltmonkey Posted December 24, 2008 Report Share Posted December 24, 2008 Ha! No normal family for me. I tell everyone that me & my four sisters all turned out OK in spite of our parents.... My dad, rest his soul, was a great father but he had his issues... My mother, well... she definitely has issues and has tested the limits of her daughters with her bizarre behavior...I wish I had a normal mom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quiltingnanny Posted December 24, 2008 Report Share Posted December 24, 2008 Shana, I don't think you are much older than my DD. So, I think I'm normal, so I'll adopt you ! Of course you can't have lots of soda, or candy and you'll have a curfew ! I was a stickler. So, what do you say ? LOL Glenda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quilting Heidi Posted December 24, 2008 Report Share Posted December 24, 2008 Patty Jo - I think my family is the roll model for disfunction junction! I tell everybody I was adopted and really am not biologically related. Most people believe me after they meet my family! Shana now that is probably why we get along! Just got home from mom's. She's killing me! We had snow/sleet and rain. Guess what...her sidewalk was clear! Guess who did what she isn't supposed to do? I just got done shoveling her whole driveway for her. I had told her to wait and I'd be there at 2. I told her if she keeps doing things to irritate that shoulder I'll just not come back and my worthless brothers can come take care of it! Mind you neither of those two could come and help her and they didn't work today...oh yeah they both are self-employed and can't get any jobs right now! Since mom keeps giving them money the least they could do is come take care of her. Grrrrr. She didn't pick a fight and couldn't tell me what time she was coming over tomorrow or if she was going out today. When the boys call she'll run and fit me in. I guarantee she will show up right when I'm in the middle of trying to get dinner in the oven and won't call to let me know when she'll be over. I want a new mom too and Glenda I had the strickest mom in town so your rules would be a piece of cake! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bonnie Posted December 24, 2008 Report Share Posted December 24, 2008 Man I guess I came from a pretty normal family....we had our disfunctional moments, but nothing else. Mom liked to gossip and that got her into trouble a few times....and makes me laugh when I remember a few times it happened....but Daddy loved ALL 7 of us...we are a huge blended family...Yours, Mine and Ours...ranging from 69 to 49....and we 7 have 21 kids and those now have about... Man not enough fingers and toes for that one. Don't get me wrong there are some I could care less that I see...not brothers and sisters but their kids....and some husbands....but for the most part I really think we had a wonderful family. Gene's now was a different story...very unloved, very bitter parents,very unloving to each other, and the kids (3 boys) pretty much raised themselves....and I have to say even now I got not only the best looking of the litter, but the kindest as well. It took him a LONG time (remember we have been married almost 35 years) to learn how to say "I Love You"....but he can say it now and he means it....And he shows us daily how he loves us as a family.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kennan100 Posted December 24, 2008 Report Share Posted December 24, 2008 Patty Jo, I'm so sorry you are stuck there! Please stay safe, stay warm and stay blessed this Christmas! Heidi, Blessings to you, to, my friend! I know how hard this is. I'll be walking down the sidewalk in the morning to spend the day with my DM. Usually I just dodge in and then back out with in a few minutes, any longer than that is begging for trouble. We do fine communicating by phone most of the time. I do things for her and she does things for me, but put us in the same room together? Not wise at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ffq-lar Posted December 25, 2008 Report Share Posted December 25, 2008 Hi Pat, I have been thinking about you all day. Stay snug in Salem--we Northwesterners got a plate full this time, didn't we?? I am sending warm thoughts your way and will see you soon. As you journey through this difficult first Christmas--please know we love you and pray to help ease your pain somehow. Merry Christmas, dear friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VictoriaG Posted December 25, 2008 Report Share Posted December 25, 2008 Patty Jo My hubby says "normal" is a setting on the dryer" Well, I know 'dryer' comes under laundry/housework so I am glad to be generally as far from normal as I can get by with. vg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quilting Heidi Posted December 25, 2008 Report Share Posted December 25, 2008 Merry Christmas Pat and everybody else! I hope everybody got what they wanted and are enjoying their friends and family. Mom has come and gone and this year she was only 2 hours late! LOL better than years past. We had a decent morning so I'm thankful. I'm really glad I didn't wait to open gifts like she wanted, that was when she would be here in 30 minutes. I finally called after 1 1/2 hours to make sure she hadn't fallen. Oh well we opened gifts without her so nothing ruined. My hubby, daughter and I had a lot of good laughs. My son isn't home this year and it is sad to see his stocking hanging. Miss him and hate him being so far away! We talked though. I think he was sad to not be home too. Going to enjoy a day of no stress! Pulling out the Bailey's if all else fails! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matildanme Posted December 26, 2008 Report Share Posted December 26, 2008 I think that your right not to have any expectations Patty, that way you won't be dissapointed. Some things are simply beyond our control. I've only recently (sadly) come to realise that most families have issues. Some bigger than others, but issues all the same. Unfortunately knowing that you are not alone does not make it any less painful. The Brady Bunch and other perfect family shows have a lot to answer for. On the other thread we were wishing for 'whirled peas'...How is it possible when a family can't even sit together for a meal at Christmas. I've a sister who won't speak to her own daughter who in turn keeps the grandchild away. So sad. I wish they would grow up ..... not speaking never solved anything. Lifes far too short for all this crap. OK enough sad stuff.......moving right along......... I'm trying desperately to think of something uplifting to say...... Ummmmmm...Here goes....... With the New Year comes promise of better things to come. So I wish you all inner peace and love! With a little luck it will rub off on the others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RitaR Posted December 26, 2008 Report Share Posted December 26, 2008 I've no parents left, nor does himself.. and we've both totally disfunctional families.. we try.. and then sometimes we try. This year I said to H with it, if it happens fine, if not, too bad.. family was in last night, friends today. We had a ball, especially today.. lot of laughing at one persons trials with toilet plungers.. and well, that sort of nonsense.. frankly though, I wish we were still in Or.. and had not moved here.. It hurt a lot less to be away from them, than near them. Oh well, we had a wonderful Christmas.. praying all you without being with family were able to have a wonderful time, just for the seasons reasons. RitaR Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrsbishwit Posted December 26, 2008 Report Share Posted December 26, 2008 I think disfunctional is the new norm, After all most families are disfunctional to some degree. My family was normal until my mom divorced my dad when I was 8..then my mom remarried a man that was divorced and had 4 kids from his first marriage which is how we ended up disfunctional...my oldest brother refused to accept my step dad and moved in with my dad (who never remarried but is the best dad a girl could ever asked for)... my middle brother and I moved with my mom and my step dad who is scum of the earth in my eyes and I will not let my kids know him or acknowledge him...long story but is the caused for my strained relationship with my mom that stems from my childhood growing up in that house. My middle brother left home at 18 got married shortly there after and is closer to his in-laws than he is to the rest of his family. I haven't talked to my step siblings since we moved to AZ 11 years ago. My DH always thought his family was pretty normal as well until he took a closer look at his own childhood and how his parents dealt with things..he was molested by a stranger when he was on a family vacation in Hawaii when he was 13 and never told his parents until he was 30 because he thought it was his fault which led to my DH's destructive behavior in his teen and early adult years. 2 out of his 3 sisters got pregnant out of wedlock, was sent away & forced to give the babies up for adoptions so the friends and distant family members would never know. And this is just the tip of the iceberg. As for the next generation...my DH & my kids, well we are trying are hardest to give them a "normal" childhood. Neither of us had it and it is very important thet we try to give it to our own kids how ever it can be very difficult at times when the extended family (aunts, uncles, cousins etc..) get into the mix because they have many problems themselves lately. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susanne.Hughes Posted December 26, 2008 Report Share Posted December 26, 2008 OK, enough is enough.................... to get everyone back into the christmas spirit, and since dysfunction is the order of the day............ here is a list of christmas songs that we can all identify with!!!!!!! Christmas Carols for the disturbed 1. Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear? 2. Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Kings Disoriented Are 3. Dementia --- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas 4. Narcissistic Personality Disorder --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me 5. Manic --- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and..... 6. Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me 7. Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire 8. Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why 9. Attention Deficit Disorder --- Silent night, Holy oooh look at the Froggy - can I have a chocolate, why is France so far away? 10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder --- Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle,Bells, Jingle Bells... Regards, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PattyJo Posted December 26, 2008 Author Report Share Posted December 26, 2008 Susanne - TOO FUNNY:D:D:D:D:D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quiltmonkey Posted December 26, 2008 Report Share Posted December 26, 2008 ROFLOL!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bonnie Posted December 27, 2008 Report Share Posted December 27, 2008 Thanks Susanne...that was GREAT...now need to share it with my: Schizophrenia, Narcissistic Personality Disorder , Personality Disorder , Attention Deficit Disorder --- family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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