Quilting Heidi Posted March 31, 2010 Report Share Posted March 31, 2010 Hi All, OK I need you all to say a little prayer that I can survive the next couple of weeks without loosing it! As many of you know my MIL broke her right arm almost 3 weeks ago and I've been trying to help her along. She is a very stubborn lady who is used to doing everything on her own and in her way. I've been running back and forth, making meals and such since the accident. She would not hear of coming and staying at our house which would have been so much easier! It adds an hour to my commute plus the time to do her shopping, helping her with meals, cleaning, etc. She has been going through bouts of depression as well which is perfectly understandable. I've managed to bite my tongue and trying my best to keep her happy. Well my mother is having surgery on Friday on her right hand and I will now have to help her out too. This will be way worse than my MIL but the good news is that my mother only lives 2 miles away so no more added to my commute. Thankfully I have a very understanding boss who will allow me to work odd hours and come and go as I need to. Please, please please say an extra prayer for more patience for me!!!! I already know I'm going to need it. The one that I've been saying works but might get me into trouble it is: Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill today because they pissed me off :D:D:D:D:D! I'm so ready for MQX! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DoryJM Posted March 31, 2010 Report Share Posted March 31, 2010 Just bury them and be done with it....imagine the free time you'd have;) I hear they'll let you quilt in prison, as long as you don't use a needle.:P Hang in there Heidi; this too shall pass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quilting Heidi Posted March 31, 2010 Author Report Share Posted March 31, 2010 I swear I'm going to start putting them in timeout! Works for Madie maybe it would work for them too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linda G. Craig Posted March 31, 2010 Report Share Posted March 31, 2010 PFP (praying for patience) LOL!!! I think you have it backwards though. Maybe YOU should take "time out", woohoo, which could be taken in front of your LA! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quilting Heidi Posted March 31, 2010 Author Report Share Posted March 31, 2010 LOL Linda I'm trying to do that too! I feel stretched very thin these days. I'm super thankful that my day job has been on the slower side! I'm really not looking forward to dealing with my mother. My MIL I can handle much better. I know I will have to be doing my mother's hair and it is just a fight waiting to happen even though her friends complimented her last time I had to do it. If it isn't exactly the way she wants it she is miserable. I told her I was bringing my clippers with me this time! I come home and swear to my children they have the right to bury me if I ever act like that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linda G. Craig Posted March 31, 2010 Report Share Posted March 31, 2010 Oh Heidi, I'm afraid I've been guilty of the same thing, only I say to my kids "If I ever act like Grandma, please give me a swift kick in the pants". They just smile and nod............which has me worried!!! LOL! p.s. love her dearly, there are just those moments! :P:P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quilting Heidi Posted March 31, 2010 Author Report Share Posted March 31, 2010 Originally posted by Linda G. Craig Oh Heidi, I'm afraid I've been guilty of the same thing, only I say to my kids "If I ever act like Grandma, please give me a swift kick in the pants". They just smile and nod............which has me worried!!! LOL! LOL I say that too only I say please shoot me!!!! I should really be super worried but honestly if I do act like that I'd want to be put out of my misery! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linda G. Craig Posted March 31, 2010 Report Share Posted March 31, 2010 :P:P:P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KathG Posted March 31, 2010 Report Share Posted March 31, 2010 Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill today because they pissed me off :D:D:D:D:D! I'm so ready for MQX! Heidi I am sending you all the good Karma I can muster up, and a prayer too. Try to take care of yourself also, and find a little me time while all this is going on. (((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))0 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JLM Posted March 31, 2010 Report Share Posted March 31, 2010 I love your version of the serenity prayer, it says it all. Hang in there, it can't last forever. Janet Mohler Colorado Springs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sammi357 Posted March 31, 2010 Report Share Posted March 31, 2010 oye. bless your heart for helping. hang in there! remember, be helpful but not a doormat! Some folks are going to push you as far as you will let them. Moms are harder to handle, prolly because of what 'Uncle' Dave Ramsey calls "Powdered Butt Syndrome": Your parents don't want to take advice from the people whose butts they used to powder. They still see us as their babies, so we sometimes need to point out that we are grown, capable women. "her own way" only works if SHE can do it, otherwise, one has to accept the help they are given, HOW it is given. (I just learned this applies to husbands doing dishes, too!) LOL! If someone gives you grief over something, then whatever "it" was can WAIT til they can do it themselves again! That includes hair combing. If it's not 'right'...tell em, "Big girl panty time!" They can deal with your help, wait, or go ahead and try doing it with one hand! It's just hair....it'll only be that way til they sleep on it once, anyway! Hey~ You can use me as a 'bad example' if you want, tell them "I know of this lady that went in for a "trim" and ended up nearly BALD!" lol! (Then, wave your appllique sissors!~ ) well, with the cute little stork, those probably aren't threatening enough, maybe the 8" shears! (I STILL have 'hair dresser trauma'... but that's because it went from waist to nape of neck with a snip of the sissor, because the girl got distracted by a phone call and lost her mind......) Yeah, talk about hiding the bodies! :mad: good thing it grows back! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Primitive1 Posted March 31, 2010 Report Share Posted March 31, 2010 Heidi, Hang in there, we'll be praying for you...you have so much going on and it is so hard to be everything to everybody! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oireachtas Posted March 31, 2010 Report Share Posted March 31, 2010 Oh Heidi, you certainly have alot on your plate right now. I know they appreciate everything you do, even if it doesn't seem like it. I say this as someone who is in her sixth week of dominant arm in a sling after shattering my humerus head and needing replacement surgery. It is so frustrating to be dependent on others when you are usually very self sufficient and some of that frustration I'm sure gets passed on to those helping us. They are so lucky to have you in their lives. I'm still hoping I make it to MQX. Yesterday I worked on trying to convince my Therapist that quilting could be part of my therapy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quilting Heidi Posted March 31, 2010 Author Report Share Posted March 31, 2010 Claire, I'm sorry to hear about your arm. Certainly no fun. I too have been in the boat of having to have help from others and it clearly is no fun. My MIL is pretty good and I'm probably better at ignoring her when it comes to small digs. My mom on a good day can drive me crazy. She doesn't mean too it is just the way she is. She has always been very critical of anything I do and always gives me her opinion of how it should be done. Even when she would come to our house to visit and we were nice enough to give up our room for her I would find her rearranging my room and telling me it looks better that way! I know she will grumble and be not so nice about it. Last time this happened, last winter she dislocated her arm, she was absolutely horrible! One morning I had gone over to curl her hair for her (unthinkable not to have her hair and make-up done) she did nothing but gripe at me about what I wasn't doing right. The whole time I kept saying, "Thank you Heidi for rearranging your day and helping me." "Thank you Heidi I really appreciate you coming over." "Thank you Heidi I do appreciate you." LOL she didn't get it! I ended up just walking out. This time I told her I will come armed with my hair clippers and buzz it all off! I will not fight with her over it. Either she learns to live with it or she finds another hairdresser! My mother even had the nerve to call my MIL and tell her that I was doing too much!!!!! Now my poor MIL is all worried and there is nobody else to help her except my hubby and myself. I told her just to tell my mother to buzz off. I am no doubt doing too much but it has to get done and I'm managing. I'm still sleeping 7 hours a night! I really don't mind the working it is the grumbling that I can do without. My brother is coming to stay with my mom the night of her surgery and she asked me if I minded. I said, "Heck no he can do your hair in the morning too." Sadly she does not give my brothers the same grief as she does me. She always says, "Boys are different." Mmmmmmm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
appr216 Posted March 31, 2010 Report Share Posted March 31, 2010 "Momma Patrol" can be exhausting! Prayers for patience coming your way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neher-in-law5 Posted March 31, 2010 Report Share Posted March 31, 2010 Heidi, I am so sorry that everything is piling up for you now. I do understand the critical spirit feelings. When your mom says that boys are different, just go in next time and tell her you are one of the boys today and do it the way they would. You know, comb the hair backwards, never smooth down to the scalp, covering up one eye, you get the drift. Maybe she will appreciate your right methods after that. May God bless you with peace through all this. (I don't ask for patience, that means things are going to get worse for me to practice with!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrazyAboutQuilting Posted March 31, 2010 Report Share Posted March 31, 2010 Hang in there, Heidi! I too had some challenging times with my mother the last few years that she and my dad were alive. And there were many days that no matter what I did, it wasn't right and I would leave her house so frustrated that I just wanted to scream. But deep down, I knew that she really appreciated it and she was just frustrated with her own situation and ended up taking it out on me. But at the time, it really drove me crazy! Looking back on it now, 5 years after she died, it's much easier to put it all in perspective. So take a deep breath and bite your tongue when you have to, and don't be afraid to put your foot down once in awhile when the demands get too ridiculous! I'll say some prayers for you! :cool: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quilting Heidi Posted March 31, 2010 Author Report Share Posted March 31, 2010 Originally posted by Neher-in-law5 Heidi, I am so sorry that everything is piling up for you now. I do understand the critical spirit feelings. When your mom says that boys are different, just go in next time and tell her you are one of the boys today and do it the way they would. ) One would think that would work but in my case I'd hear a very long, loud lecture about how I don't undestand and I'm mean and hard! Not going there! thanks for the support though! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrsbishwit Posted March 31, 2010 Report Share Posted March 31, 2010 Heidi, I don't know how you do it, MIL, Maddie, now your own mom...you are deffinately on the road to saint hood all I have to say is thank God your quilt got finished and sent. And of course I will ask God to grant you the patience you need to get you through and I'll throw in a extra prayer that your quilt wins Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustSewSimple Posted March 31, 2010 Report Share Posted March 31, 2010 None of my business here, but perhaps if you had suggested to MIL that it was either your house or a swing-bed unit instead of home things would have been better for you. Perhaps she had too many choices. She can stay home only because you are sweet enough to go the extra mile to see to her. I'll bet she'd come to your house if you only went once a week to care for her. Now, your mother, that is another deal altogether! Sometimes you can be just too sweet for your own good, Miss Heidi!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CWBowser Posted March 31, 2010 Report Share Posted March 31, 2010 Hang in there Heidi, We will be on our way to MQX April 14 for some fun. I will be saying some prayers for you and me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quiltinginthecountry Posted March 31, 2010 Report Share Posted March 31, 2010 Dear Heidi, (kidding here) This is what we say in "Montana" Shoot, Shovel and Shut Up. I will keep you in my prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GrandmaLKB Posted March 31, 2010 Report Share Posted March 31, 2010 Heidi............I can relate to your problems so much. I had my hubby in the ER this morning for three hours - possibly an ulcer........more tests to come. Then this afternoon I had to take my Mom to her orthopedic surgeon for a checkup on the new knee she got last fall.............we waited 1 1/2 hours for his 10 minute "look see" to tell her that her knee was just about as perfect as it could be. SHE is also very bullheaded and was just sure there was something wrong. I, too, bit my tongue as I took her back to her apartment at Assisted Living so I could run back home and go with hubby to get more blood tests done at 4 PM. I only need a few more things to go wrong today and I will really be in a good mood! NOT!!! I ordered some needles for my new Milli from Columbia River...........they came today........totally WRONG needles. So, I e-mailed them to complain and now have to return these needles for a refund. I gave up and wrote to John Mitchell and ordered 100 ! UGH! Oh......one more thing.........Mom and I went to put some Easter Lillies on Dad's grave and one side of the little pot broke off. Just bought those pots new last year. Wheeeeee! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DB Posted March 31, 2010 Report Share Posted March 31, 2010 Heidi, I love your prayer. Weren't a bunch of us bring shovels over to you last year? MQX is in 11 days, we can go out for drinks. Can't wait to see your quilts, I bet they are stunning. Dianne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lisalnewman Posted March 31, 2010 Report Share Posted March 31, 2010 Heidi, Are you sure we are not related??? I think we have the same mother!!! I can commiserate with you. My dad had a brain tumor 2 years ago and my MIL has macular degeration and had gone legally blind. In order to get her treatments she had to travel 5 hrs and her hubby is not capable of taking care of himself let alone anyone else so guess who had to step up and take her to her appointments between staying with my mom as my dad was in the hospital. It was tough but I survived. You are more than capable and will survive too. Not sure what is wrong with your mom, I have only met you online and I can tell that you are a kind, generous, intelligent, talented and more than capable woman. So maybe I could introduce you to your mother so she can meet the real you. You just keep telling yourself that MQX is around the corner and you deserve to go and enjoy yourself.:) Take care and see you at MQX!! Lisa:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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