GrandmaLKB Posted March 1, 2013 Report Share Posted March 1, 2013 I am working on a graduation t-shirt quilt for a great nephew. I made one for his older brother 2 years ago and "MOM" wanted the same fabric used in the sashings and backing. First of all, I wasn't sure I could even find the exact same fabric that I bought 2+ years ago, but I got lucky and found it. Finished off the bolt, but I got enough. I e-mailed to tell her and then she proceeds to ask me to go back and get enough of that same fabric for brother #3's quilt when he graduates ------ FIVE YEARS FROM NOW ! I wrote her back and told her that I finished off the bolt in order to get enough for this 2nd quilt and I probably would not be seeing this fabric again.........I found it at Wal Mart and they won't special order anything, as they just have to take whatever the company sends. Also told her that I did not guarantee that I would be making any more t-shirt quilts FIVE YEARS FROM NOW. I will be 70 by then. I am not going to run around at every Wal Mart looking for this fabric and told her how much she should buy if she happens to run across it. How the heck does she know that her 3rd son will even want the same fabric in his quilt. He may have totally different interests from his older brothers???? This is all "MOM"S" idea and what she wants, she usually demands. Obviously son #2 doesn't have a mind of his own or much imagination, as I would think he would want his quilt to be different from his brother's. I think "MOM" is telling him this is what he wants because that's what SHE wants. Absolutely no need for them to match or even be similar, as those boys most likely will not be sharing a room ever and have their quilts side by side to clash. haha One is in college and may join the Navy..........who knows where #2 is going to go to school. I had to read her e-mail twice to grasp whata she was asking me to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lindasewsit Posted March 1, 2013 Report Share Posted March 1, 2013 Oh well!!! What are ya going to do???!! people are funny! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ffq-lar Posted March 1, 2013 Report Share Posted March 1, 2013 People who demand things surround themselves with people who give in to those demands. The rest stay away--far away. I think you should join those people! The one who loses out is great-nephew #3. Since your niece now considers this a "tradition" that you make what she wants and with the fabric that she chooses, let her know she may need to shop around for the fabric and also someone else to assemble it for her. I agree--people are funny. And demanding, insistent, and over-bearing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GrandmaLKB Posted March 1, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 1, 2013 I told her how much she would need to buy if she found it and for WHOEVER might make the quilt. My DH can't stand her and she is HIS sister's daughter! Thankfully, they live 3+ hours away and we don't have to deal with her very often. I will not commit myself to anything or anyone FIVE YEARS down the road. Good Grief !!! Takes all kinds, I guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quilting Heidi Posted March 1, 2013 Report Share Posted March 1, 2013 Hey you better watch out she might want to book an actual date now too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dlnewell Posted March 1, 2013 Report Share Posted March 1, 2013 You could remind her that the Bible says "if the Lord will, and we live, we shall do this or that..l..At least she's not asking you to make it a week before graduation Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Primitive1 Posted March 1, 2013 Report Share Posted March 1, 2013 Hmmmmmm...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne from Guam Posted March 1, 2013 Report Share Posted March 1, 2013 Good for you, Linda! When somone finally pushes back, Those 'pushy' people back off a little. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustSewSimple Posted March 1, 2013 Report Share Posted March 1, 2013 You TEACH people how to treat you. So stand your ground. Did she pay for this first quilt or did you do it as a gift? Tell her you checked your books and you are booked solid for the next 7 years. Sorry, just can't fit you in, young lady! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buttonflower Posted March 1, 2013 Report Share Posted March 1, 2013 I certainly understand & agree with your point of view, but this story reminded me of how my parents (Mom's 94) approached gift giving. If child #1 got pj's & a sweater for Christmas, so did children #2, #3, & #4, Dollar values of the total gifts were identical, Perhaps it had something to do with viewing children not so much as individuals, but as a responsibility. I think it was just the mentality of the era. Mom's gift giving style hasn't changed, except now she gives checks and you can be sure that the dollar value is identical. I suspect that this lady never gave a thought to your role in her gift giving process. Buttonflower Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GrandmaLKB Posted March 1, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 1, 2013 You TEACH people how to treat you. So stand your ground. Did she pay for this first quilt or did you do it as a gift? Tell her you checked your books and you are booked solid for the next 7 years. Sorry, just can't fit you in, young lady! They have to pay for the materials used but I assemble and finish the quilts as our graduation gift to the kids. Still a pretty darn nice gift !!!! She has offered to pay me some now, but I said to just wait until I knew exactly how much fabric, batting, etc. I used and I would send her a bill. Makes me angry that she will try to take advantage of me. Forgot to mention, SHE also wants pillow shams to match the quilts !!! I will charge her for those ! Again, this is HER wish, as I cannot really see college age boys wanting pillow shams........... I'm glad it will be FIVE years before her 3rd child graduates !!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AHuffman Posted March 1, 2013 Report Share Posted March 1, 2013 okay so the request for matching pillow shams for the young man's bed made me giggle. I think you are right. This isn't a gift for them. It is a gift for her. PILLOW SHAMS! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buttonflower Posted March 1, 2013 Report Share Posted March 1, 2013 OOPS - I thought this was for the customer's great nephew, not yours. I'm sorry that I misread your original post. I can certainly understand your irritation. It reminds me of one my nieces. I had made a baby quilt for another niece & sent it along with my daughter to her baby shower about a year ago.. The first niece lamented that I hadn't made a quilt for her child. I don't think that I was even quilting then & I certainly didn't have a longarm machine! This comment did not send me scurrying back to my sewing room to whip up another quilt for her daughter who is about 11 Yr. old now. I had gone to her baby shower & given her a gift at the time. I think that it's best if I just focus on how much my quilt gifts are appreciated.& not on the negative flack. This Mom- to- be cried when she opened her gift so I was very touched. Buttonflower Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sewhappy Posted March 1, 2013 Report Share Posted March 1, 2013 Going out on a limb here-going AGAINST the popular point of view! I don't really consider a customer telling us how they want the quilt done as out of line or "demanding"- She just knows what she wants. I don't always agree with the customers idea-and sometimes it just cant be done-then we try to explain why-ie not knowing what we will be doing 5 years from now, the quilting design they want will not even show on the busy fabric etc. Personally I do NOT see anything wrong with the quilts being all the same-it may even eleminate the possiblity of one quilt reciever seeing the others as better -I think there may indeed be more to the story than the short post here. But calling someone demanding because they know what they want?!? I guess I fall into that catagory as well. Just saying..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GrandmaLKB Posted March 1, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 1, 2013 Going out on a limb here-going AGAINST the popular point of view! I don't really consider a customer telling us how they want the quilt done as out of line or "demanding"- She just knows what she wants. I don't always agree with the customers idea-and sometimes it just cant be done-then we try to explain why-ie not knowing what we will be doing 5 years from now, the quilting design they want will not even show on the busy fabric etc. Personally I do NOT see anything wrong with the quilts being all the same-it may even eleminate the possiblity of one quilt reciever seeing the others as better -I think there may indeed be more to the story than the short post here. But calling someone demanding because they know what they want?!? I guess I fall into that catagory as well. Just saying..... I agree if this was a CUSTOMER, then it would be their call, but it is NOT a customer...I am not being paid for this. It is for a great nephew of ours who is graduating from HS. The parents pay for the supplies (not my time) and I assemble and finish the quilt. ASSEMBLING AND FINISHING the quilt is our gift that I volunteered for and I resent her adding on more and more without even asking, and planning for me to do another for her in 5 years. And I do think she is too demanding of my time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
witha'K'quilting Posted March 1, 2013 Report Share Posted March 1, 2013 Linda...i can understand your frustration with your niece. making a gift for a grand nephew is one thing. being told how/when is another. even if she is paying for the materials, i believe trying to book you ahead 5 years...is a bit out of line. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neher-in-law5 Posted March 1, 2013 Report Share Posted March 1, 2013 This might be the time that your husband needs to "take care of" his family. Yes, quilting is your business, but it also is part of his life and if things in life are not working out right, he has the privilege and right to tell his family that he won't let his wife be used like that. I hope this is able to come to a good conclusion and you can give good gifts to the nephews without their mom's drama. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GrandmaLKB Posted March 1, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 1, 2013 I decided I would get a little of my "gift" back by NOT giving her my 50% coupon discount on the interfacing I had to buy from JoAnn's...........she is paying full price ! haha It doesn't amount to much, but it gives me a little satisfaction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GrandmaLKB Posted March 1, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 1, 2013 This might be the time that your husband needs to "take care of" his family. Yes, quilting is your business, but it also is part of his life and if things in life are not working out right, he has the privilege and right to tell his family that he won't let his wife be used like that. I hope this is able to come to a good conclusion and you can give good gifts to the nephews without their mom's drama. DH is behind me 100%, as he can't stand this niece.........really not too many in the family can ! So, I will finish this project and not have to think about or deal with her for a long time. It seems my next 5 years just got VERY BUSY. ???? HAHA Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustSewSimple Posted March 1, 2013 Report Share Posted March 1, 2013 Does she realize that you are "giving" her son about a $250 gift in your time and labor? I don't give gifts for high school graduation in those amounts! You could end all this now by just telling her you don't have that kind of money to "give" to another child but you'd be happy to make her one for the $250 plus materials. Then write the kid a check for about $20 and be done with it. She just doesn't respect your business. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sewhappy Posted March 1, 2013 Report Share Posted March 1, 2013 I just reread your original post and not seeing anywhere that this is a gift-I musta missed that part-that DOES change things-just tell her NO-I absolutly hate it when people try to tell us what to give or donate!! That is and always will be MY CALL!!! I was told once that I should spend more of my volunteer time helping more at the school than with the scout troops my husb & I did as leaders for boy & girl scouts! Can you imagine?!? I told her she should spend more of HER volunteer time learning to mind her own business!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GrandmaLKB Posted March 1, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 1, 2013 Sylvia...........I wish I could 'LIKE' your comment, but it seems I have used my quota of 'LIKES' ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GrandmaLKB Posted March 1, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 1, 2013 SewHappy..........tired to send you an IM, but you box is full. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sewhappy Posted March 1, 2013 Report Share Posted March 1, 2013 Just deleted a bunch-u can email me ibsewhappy@msn.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GrandmaLKB Posted March 1, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 1, 2013 Just deleted a bunch-u can email me ibsewhappy@msn.com Did you delete from your Message Box on the forum? It still says you cannot receive any more messages. Maybe it just hasn't caught up yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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