KarenH Posted March 5, 2011 Report Share Posted March 5, 2011 Good for you Linda, put her in the past!! Your work is just beautiful and keep on quilting!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandra Darlington Posted March 5, 2011 Report Share Posted March 5, 2011 Oh, Linda, I think you did the right thing, too. This customer reminds me so much of my old "friend" that always gave me such a hard time with each quilt. The one that quilted for over 20 years, was self-taught and a "know it all." She did not want to learn and grow, as her way was the only right way to anything. If I charged her $100, I would get a check for $50, or an IOU that never was fullfilled. Herpiecing was/is poor, her borders were all very full, but when I tried to explain how to do them right, she would say her way is correct and she just "slaps 'em on" as there is no reason to measure 3 times. She is experienced enough to just "eyeball it." She started taking her "good" quilts to another LAer and I heard she only did variations of an E2E on customer's quilts and saves her custom work for (special) customer's show quilts and her own quilts. She does do a great job on these. However, my friend thought her E2E was the best and only cost $75. No matter what I did, it was never right. I even had her pick out a panto that she wanted; I took a picture of the panto laying on her quilt and sent her the picture via e-mail and asked if this was the panto we agreed to. She wrote back that is was. When I returned the quilt (in the presence of a mutual friend and quilter), she said she didn't like the panto and I really should have used the one she picked out! She made a big deal about it, too, in front of our mutual friend. If this was said in front of others, say at a shop, or a guild meeting, it would have been very awkward. As it was, this mutual friend was a bit stunned at first, but then I whipped out my Blackberry and scrolled through to the pictures and when I opened it and showed them both the picture and then e-mail where she said she wanted that panto, she then said she forgot, but now realizes that she did pick it out. Bull s*@#! She was going to complain so I'd feel bad and give it to her for free. She pulled a few more stunts, but different than that one. She absolutely needed a quilt for a baby shower asap. I know, "her lack of planning was now my emergency." I agreed, but gave her a printed estimate for the panto (including the name of the panto she picked out), and said I could do it the following week. Not good enough. She needed it now. OK, bring it over. I'll put in on ahead of the one I was in the middle of putting on the frame. I waited and waited, called her; no answer. After several hours I (she lives within walking distance) I decided to put on the quilt I had just taken off so I could get that one started before bed. A week later she called and said she almost had the borders on the baby quilt, but the shower was on Sunday and she needed it asap. So on a Friday night she brought it over and I quilted it that night and finished Saturday morning (remember, just a baby quilt and it was a panto). My minimum is $50 and this was about $40, but my estimate was for the $50. She wasn't able to pick it up, so I delivered it. Of course she didn't have any money and couldn't find her check book - probably buried under fabric, she said. The next time I saw her I asked how the baby shower went and how the gal liked the quilt. Well, she said she gave the girl a card with an IOU for the quilt because she didn't have time to bind it before the shower. She explained in the card that the LAer didn't get it back to her until the day before the shower, so she didn't have enought time to bind it. Urghhh! And...I still haven't been paid for the quilting! That was over 6 months ago. Now around Thanksgiving she said she had 3 quilts for me to get done before Christmas. She'd drop them off as soon as they wre finished...still a bit of work to be done on them. I said I was booked up until April. Sorry. She was so angry because she was depending on me and I was letting her down. I suggested she take them to her other quilter who does the queens for $75. Well, she already called this other lady who also said she was booked up until after Christmas. The funny thing is, according to our mutual friend, her quilts aren't finished yet, so aren't ready to be quilted yet. Sorry for the ramble. You did the right thing to fire your customer. I think many of us have had to do the same thing for similar reasons. I still see my "friend" around town, but I will never do another quilt for her. I used to get upset when she'd give me a quilt, as I knew I would spend much more time on them than I should be spending and that I would not get paid the amount I quoted her...if at all and that she would complain to everyone about my work. Good ridance and don't come back. It took me years to finally get up enough nerve to take a firm stand with her, but I feel so much better since I did. Linda, you'll be feeling good, too, now that you don't have to deal with her anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ffq-lar Posted March 5, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 5, 2011 Thank you thank you thank you--all of you for your wise words and encouragement! I felt bad last night after posting this, but feel much better this morning! Your perspectives have helped so much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stagecl Posted March 5, 2011 Report Share Posted March 5, 2011 No, you are not a dork. She was not a friend. It is what everyone else has said before me. Friends don't use friends to their advantage, then sing a different tune when they don't get what they want. Life is too short to have to deal with people like her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WestieMom Posted March 5, 2011 Report Share Posted March 5, 2011 Linda, you did the right thing even though it hurts. I call these type of friends "toxic" friends. Realize that her behavior stems from a great deal of insecurity and move on. Down the road you'll be happier for the decision. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RitaR Posted March 5, 2011 Report Share Posted March 5, 2011 I hate it when I have to deal with self seeking, lieing controllers.... The sooner a person can ditch them, the better off they will be. We don't need ulcers. Linda, you are so sweet, and honest, and friendly, and generous that I just can't imagine anyone decent treating you like that. I'm glad you feel better today.. and pray you keep feeling better! Hugs and God Bless.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Primitive1 Posted March 5, 2011 Report Share Posted March 5, 2011 I am sorry that these things happen but thanks for sharing them as it helps the rest of us to know how to handle these types of people when this comes up....I sure learn alot from reading this forum! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CindyT Posted March 5, 2011 Report Share Posted March 5, 2011 I agree with Lyn, too, and have to remind myself of that saying a lot lately. You are not a rug to be wiped on, stomped/trampled on and muddied up. Life is too short to put up with being maniuplated/schemed like that (aren't they called con artists?...I think those type of people aren't happy unless others are miserable, too). You did the right thing in "firing" her. That's one bad apple in your full basket of beautiful apples that needed tossed out to pasture. Hope the wasps and bees come out to feast on that rotten apple and maybe leave a stinger or two in it! Whew, that made me feel better, how 'bout you? May your basket be full of beautiful apples the rest of your life, Linda! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobbi Posted March 5, 2011 Report Share Posted March 5, 2011 Linda, You shouldn't feel guilty at all! The gal was taking advantage of you and you allowed it for too long... sometimes you have to do the hard thing but what's best for you and your own "sanity"! When someone makes you feel like you are in the "twilight zone", you have to let them go! Go forth and be HAPPY! You weren't wrong! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carreen Posted March 5, 2011 Report Share Posted March 5, 2011 I love your stories!! Hopefully I will learn from all of you how to stand up to the bullies and "I am woman hear me roar". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LFQuilts Posted March 5, 2011 Report Share Posted March 5, 2011 Linda, As so many others have posted, you did the right thing in firing the customer. Your ever gracious self even gave her options of having you for a friend or having you for a customer. She chose neither. You feel bad, not because you are a dork, but because you think you should have been able to outsmart her or have been able to negotiate a win-win for both of you. You can't negotiate win-win situations with people who are manipulative users. It just can't be done - but they are more than happy to make you crazy while you try. Enjoy a good glass of wine and some chocolate - then go quilt something gorgeous on someone else's quilt. She is the loser, not you. Remember, you frequently remind the rest of us not to sell ourselves short. Don't you do that either. Lynn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yogiquilter Posted March 5, 2011 Report Share Posted March 5, 2011 Seriously?! What's that saying? With those kind of friends, who needs enemies? You are much better off without that mess. Life is too short:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CWBowser Posted March 5, 2011 Report Share Posted March 5, 2011 Linda, You did the right thing. Don't second guess yourself. Remember she didn't mind embarrassing you in front of others at your guild. I wouldn't be a bit surprised it the other lady with the Nolting fired her too. She is like a plague. You don't need her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cblevins Posted March 5, 2011 Report Share Posted March 5, 2011 You know what? I have found that ending any type of relationship is difficult and painful for me so I understand how you felt about it. I always want to fix everything so it is hard to end things but sometimes it must be done. This was one of those times. You deserve far better than that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LauraJ Posted March 5, 2011 Report Share Posted March 5, 2011 Linda, Thank you for sharing - truly, thank you. I am just starting to get customer quilts and so far, everyone has been wonderful. By sharing what you experienced you've enlightened not only me (a newbie "professional") but others who may be starting out. I don't think I'll take in quilts at a guild meeting due to what you shared. So far, I only take in quilts by meeting my customers at the LQS - not my home - they're ok with that. I keep this in my mind: people can only treat us the way we allow them to. You're done. Listen to all the great things others have shared - you're a super good quilter and it's HER loss!!! Don't call yourself anything other than a caring, sharing, kind-hearted quilter. Dork ??? Never!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Judi Posted March 6, 2011 Report Share Posted March 6, 2011 Sandra - thanks for adding your story too.... reminds me of one I had (or should I say STILL HAVE!) I did a "rush" baby quilt for a cash paying customer, who was just in a car accident a few months before - so she wanted me to do the binding too. No problem. I wasn't even going to charge her for the binding - she was still going to theropy for her arm that was broken in 3 places. I felt bad for her. I did it, called her, and she said she would pick-it up the next time she had her hair done in the town down the road..... well that was in June 2008!! I still have that quilt here, and a king size one she wanted done. She called about a year ago, wanted to pick-up both quilts and some batting and hand tie the other one. They had to sell there their house and blah - blah - blah.... She never came. I have since re-added her bill putting on the full price for the binding charge. Wonder... how much to charge for "holding" it for her?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Judi Posted March 6, 2011 Report Share Posted March 6, 2011 Oh - my husband says not to "fire" a customer - just "price them out!" Like this = If they have a quilt that would normally cost $100 to quilt.... then you quote them a price of $300 or even $400. Some people you will have to get the money first. Either they pay more money for the P.I.T.A. factor - or they Go Away!:cool::cool: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustSewSimple Posted March 6, 2011 Report Share Posted March 6, 2011 Don't look back! Don't 2nd question yourself! :D:D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisy2018 Posted March 6, 2011 Report Share Posted March 6, 2011 It's hard when you are the person who cares too much....Another way to look at it, you have so many friends you want to spend time with, do you really want to spend negative time with anyone, when you could be smiling, and laughing and being with great friends.....There are only so many hours in a day, in a week, in the rest of your life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Butterfly Posted March 6, 2011 Report Share Posted March 6, 2011 Well Linda, I"m impressed. You encouraged me with the classy way you handled this woman. I know it wasn't pleasant, but you did good. Jess Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
juliagraves Posted March 6, 2011 Report Share Posted March 6, 2011 Okay - so my question is, how to avoid this type of problem in the first place? I see a few different issues - How to treat friends/family that are also paying customers? How to handle people who want to negotiate you down from your estimate? How to handle people that don't pay? A great tip I learned awhile back, is to "have a policy". This requires you to think about what you want to do in advance, and develop your policy. When someone asks about you doing something, you state, "my policy is.... " Something about having a policy implies formality and really decreases pushback. Every person will have a different policy for what works for them, but for me personally - here's how I would handle each: Friends/family - My business is a business, so I charge the same regardless, or else I do it as a gift. You may want to give an estimate showing your regular price, then give a 25% discount, or whatever you want. People who want to negotiate you down - I hate the thought of losing a potential customer, but I stand firm on my estimate, and suggest that they can try other long-armers in search of a lower price. Most people end up going with me. People that don't pay - I collect 50% deposit up front. I have a statement on my estimate (which they sign) that says that quilts that are not picked up within 90 days become my property. I've never had a quilt not picked up, but I figure I could sell on eBay to recoup the remainder of my fee. I also don't release quilts that haven't been paid for. People wanting to move up in line - I charge 25% rush fee on labor. I tell them this is because I will have to work overtime, and most companies charge time and a half for overtime, so this is a good deal. People wanting you to quilt their charity quilt for free - I say that I quilt a number of charity quilts each year and that I've already allocated my quota (if I don't want to do theirs), or that I could do theirs as one of the quota. I have found that treating your business as a business helps to decrease problems like this. I know it's hard when emotions are involved. Good luck! Julie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anniquilter Posted March 6, 2011 Report Share Posted March 6, 2011 Linda You did absolutely the right thing. No need to 2nd guess your self over this. I hope you've taken some time for the glass of wine, chocolate or whatever and can see this in better perspective. I had a customer/ neighbor/'friend'/business colleague/ guild buddy who did something very similar. It took sometime for me to see that she was a bully and all the giving was on my side. I have not fired her as she hasn't asked me to quilt anything for her in the last year. Maybe she felt my angry vibes!!! I will not accept anything else from her. If she asks me to quilt for her again I will quote much higher prices & VERY long lead times & give her the name of the new quilter up the road whose husband does all the computerized e-2-es for less than I can offer pantos. Julie, Thanks for these great 'Policy' guidelines. I'm definitely going to incorporate all of them. We ARE business women. It's just that we care too & that sometimes gets in the way and complicates things. These 'Policies' will definitely keep business & emotions separate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandra Darlington Posted March 6, 2011 Report Share Posted March 6, 2011 Good advise, Julia. The way I handle family (close family) is to not treat them as part of my business. I don't run them through my "books." I expect them to pay for the fabric and batting, but I don't charge them for any labor. I do their quilts on "my time." For extended family members I will write up an invoice, and then give a heafty "family" discount to them. That discount may vary depending on how I feel about them. Everyone else is given an estimate. E2E's are easy to price, unless I run into a PITA situation, but custom is harder for me to guess the amount of time it will take, so I started giving them a range starting with what I think the price will be and adding more money to it. I tell them that the cost will be between the low and the high number. So far they have been OK with that. I have a written policy that includes my minimum prices, and the disposition of a quilt that isn't picked up and paid for, plus opther info. My customers have been fine with all of that...it's just this one "friend" that has been a real PITA. It doesn't matter if I have a policy or not with her, as she would just do whatever she wanted anyway. That's way I finally got up enough nerve to not do her quilts anymore. Judi - Yes, you had a real PITA customer, too. I like you husband's words of wisdom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinR. Posted March 6, 2011 Report Share Posted March 6, 2011 Linda, I am with Judi Olson (maybe because I like Billy Currington! lol) No need to keep people in your life that suck you dry. You were kind. You did your job admirably. No need to second guess yourself. Just my two cents worth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Judi Posted March 6, 2011 Report Share Posted March 6, 2011 Thanks Robin - I love that song and hum it often. Just couldn't remember who sang it... it can really help get you through the day! A bit funny to hear my 10 yr old sing it though! Julia - I like the "policy" info. you posted! I need to re-do some of my paperwork - including my drop-off sheet. Questions though - I pick-up and drop-off most of my quilts at a quilt shop. How to get a customer to sign something, pay a deposit, and or pay for the quilt before they take it home? Most customers leave a check there, but some always mail the check to me. Which has worked so far. Just this one lady..... I think she has forgotten where I live! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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