NanaFuller Posted May 30, 2012 Report Share Posted May 30, 2012 You know that I work full time, so getting to play is such a blessing! I finished a quilt that I love. I did all free hand and it turned out so nice. I'll post pictures later. The only thing that hurts is this: A friend of mine paints and we talked about swapping a quilt for a painting. I showed her this quilt top and she fell in love with it. I mentioned that it took me 3 months of my spare time to piece and that it cost several hundred dollars in materials. She said it was the one she wanted. That was on a Friday. Monday she showed up with a 11 X something watercolor (finished) and said she was going to pick out a frame from hobby lobby when they went on sale. Bad thing is she is a boss where i work. I like the picture, but i was expecting a fair trade. I went ahead and practiced all my freehand techniques on the quilt and it is lovely. it's also very large. When I saw the picture, i did mention that months went into my quilt and that I still needed to bind it. She wanted me to put the picture/frame together myself. What would you all do? I thought about telling her that i love the picture and wish it was big enough to display in my living room. Maybe she could paint one a little bigger for me.... If I accept the picture, i will put it where i can see it everyday and remind myself to value what i do and not do anything so foolish again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LauraJ Posted May 30, 2012 Report Share Posted May 30, 2012 She's not computing the trade very well. In her mind, it's probably equal in value but you know the work, etc., you've put into the quilt. I think what you are wanting to say is a-ok. While you like the picture that she did, you were hoping for a bigger one for the living room. Ask her if she'd do a different, larger one for you and all you can do is see what she says. Or ask if you can see some of her other paintings and be able to choose a different one, especially since she had seen the quilt top and was able to choose that before you ever got to choose a painting. Thanks for sharing this. I learned a lot from your experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragon Lady Sandra Posted May 30, 2012 Report Share Posted May 30, 2012 I trade my quilts for things that I want, doing a barter system. If one of the people that I am looking to trade with picks one of the quilts I am not ready to part with, I just out and out tell them. I am a newbie with a Millie. I have also used a long armer so I have a number of quilts in my arsenal. Having this person as a "boss" does throw a slant on the problem. But WE as "artists" and people who spend hours on projects need to value our product, Just as she thinks that she is choosing your quilt, you need to assert that you need "the painting" to be one that you value and looks right for the area that you want it to be placed in. As she chose the quilt, you need to be able to choose the painting if you decide to go ahead with the trade. I would be a long time getting the binding on the quilt (maybe never) if she continues to persist. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RitaR Posted May 30, 2012 Report Share Posted May 30, 2012 Though it would be hard, with her being your boss, I would be bold and tell her the dollar amounts of materials, batting and then quilting that went into the quilt, naming the full cost, and tell her while her picture is pretty, you don't feel they are comparable in cost, and that you won't put any work into the framing. God Bless in your decisions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Linda S Posted May 30, 2012 Report Share Posted May 30, 2012 Oh dear. This is an awful situation. Probably the gentlest solution I can think of is, asking her if, since she had the luxury of selecting which quilt she would receive, if she would mind if you selected a painting from a group of pictures she has already finished. You might also let her know that you expect to receive the work already framed, or you could supply her with the binding material for the quilt and she could do that for herself. I am often appalled at the nerve of some people. I was the boss where I worked, and I wouldn't have expected to receive extra benefit in an out-of-office deal for commodities. Of course, I was not your conventional boss. My physical therapist offered to do some pt work for me in exchange for a quilt, and after he selected his pattern, I made it quite clear that he'd be doing my physical therapy for the rest of my life! The quilt consists of 1512 half square triangles! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanaFuller Posted May 30, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 30, 2012 She is not my immediate boss. She is just a boss in my division. I also thought about asking her to split the cost of the projects. that way I could buy some more supplies. ie: she spent $50 and I spent $300.. She did mention that at one time when she was going to go to hobby lobby :-) I found the kit w/ backing and it was 279. I did have a BLAST quilting it! It looks like an hierloom! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KathG Posted May 30, 2012 Report Share Posted May 30, 2012 I really think you need to be up front with your friend. I know it won't be easy, but she is either naiive or knows what she is doing. Maybe I have misunderstood, but just the fact that she said she will pick out a frame when they go on sale would rankle me. I would have replied that I cannot finish the binding until the thread is in the sale . You need to tell her the cost of the quilt including the time it took to make, and say you would like a picture for the same value. It's not like you are being greedy. Good luck with what you decide to do. Just edited my reply, to say the more I read the responses to your post. If it was me I think I would keep the quilt for yourself. Don't feel pushed into doing something you don't want to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dlnewell Posted May 30, 2012 Report Share Posted May 30, 2012 I would be honest and up front. Give her a detailed account of the cost of everything you put into the quilt and your time (estimate a dollar figure with this). To me, a swap means that both parties agree on the items being exchanged, and that they should be of similar value. You love your quilt and just tell her you can't part with it. If it's only worth a small painting and an on sale frame, sounds like she's only out for a good bargain. Stand your ground and keep your quilt:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calicokat Posted May 30, 2012 Report Share Posted May 30, 2012 Or let her know that this is a favorite of yours, very special because it is your freehand practice - so you want to keep it. Then you could start over from scratch with this deal. Or scrap the deal since it may not work out the way you wanted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neher-in-law5 Posted May 30, 2012 Report Share Posted May 30, 2012 Are you able to just tell her that this quilt is not available? That you are willing to make a quilt for her from her selected design while at the same time you get to select the size, style, colors, and composition of the painting? It is interesting that in her mind she thinks she can pick and take whatever quilt she wants with no regard to who the quilt was for and size appropriate, but she got to pick out what painting was for you with you not getting a say in it. And she better pay full price on the framing, with mat included before she figures equal value. It is hard but be sure that you have a listening witness when you have the conversations with her. I hope it works out well and the work place is still enjoyable for you both. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sms Posted May 30, 2012 Report Share Posted May 30, 2012 Sound to me you have a situation where your comparing apple to oranges!! The thought I just had is take a picture of the quilt... print the picture of the quilt on fabric... (optional: make into small quilt)... go to hobby lobby and buy a frame for her to put together. Sounds more equitable to me. sms Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neher-in-law5 Posted May 30, 2012 Report Share Posted May 30, 2012 I like sms's idea! Think she would get the "picture?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meg Posted May 30, 2012 Report Share Posted May 30, 2012 ann marie - i think you should just tell her, up front, that it is not a fair trade. honesty is always the best policy. you can be nice about it, but frank. this quilt was made by you for yourself and is not available. if she would still like to barter for this painting, you will make a quilt that is comparable. i think you'll be sorry if you allow yourself to be taken advantage of. not to mention, what if she goes talking about it? where will you draw the line? boss or not, fair is fair. in my experience, people have more respect for people who do not sell themselves short. PS - how about a pic? it sounds GORGEOUS! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisy2018 Posted May 30, 2012 Report Share Posted May 30, 2012 I like what Kat said...... Many years ago, I made things to sell at craft fairs in the Midwest. I had spent the winter crossstitching a quilt kit, many, many hours of work and more $ than I really had. I had displayed it at the fair, and a guy I knew from the fairs asked me if I would trade. Well , he had some really nice hand carved woodducks, I thought one would be perfect for my new husband on our first Christmas. I thought I was getting a woodduck, he thought a pine decoy (barely carved and not stained) was the "even" trade. SOOOO, the moral of the story, never not know exactly what you are trading AHEAD of time. That decoy is treasured, but only I know the real message. No one will value your work and time and even $ except yourself. Value yourself.... I hope you will get your courage up and tell her that you are really attached to this quilt, will need it for the ideas you have stitched into it, and that you hope to trade with her later in the year when you have a few more stitched and you can both choose something each of you regards as a good trade...... Pat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GrandmaLKB Posted May 30, 2012 Report Share Posted May 30, 2012 isn't it just amazing how little value non quilters put on our products? I had something similar happen to me. My friend asked me to quilt a top that her mother had made. It wasn't anything special and not very well made, but I decided to swap that job for some hand crocheted doilies. My friend does crochet. Anyway, I finished the quilt and made it look much better than it started, but the 2 doilies came to me in a plastic grocery bag and not even pressed or "finished" with starch, etc. When my Mom and Grandma made doilies they were always starched and pinned out to dry to make them pretty. I had to do that part myself. That was the last time I did anything for her and found excuses from then on that I just had way too much to do. I would tell your boss that you changed your mind and want to keep the quilt for yourself ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeeAnn Posted May 30, 2012 Report Share Posted May 30, 2012 If you want to keep this quilt just tell her that you love it as much as she does and want to keep it for yourself. But that you would still like to make her a quilt to trade. If you decide to trade her this one I think it is only fair that you get to pick out a painting that you love and not one she picks out for you. I don't think her being the boss of your division has any bearing on the decision. It's your quilt. You can do with it what you want. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quilting Heidi Posted May 30, 2012 Report Share Posted May 30, 2012 I agree with Meg. I'd just explain to her that this quilt is not worth the trade and that you'd be happy to do another quilt that was more equal in time and value. I guess the lesson learned is to make sure you both agree up front to the trade. Let us know how it turns out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustSewSimple Posted May 30, 2012 Report Share Posted May 30, 2012 I would just gracefully off the entire transaction. You keep the quilt and she keeps the picture. I once traded a $$$ amount for an interior designer. I let her tell me the amount she would charge to do X and then I offered to take that off her bill. Worked well for both of us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ffq-lar Posted May 30, 2012 Report Share Posted May 30, 2012 I read this earlier today and refrained from commenting--I am such a momma bear type when I hear of this type of situation and was afraid my growling wouldn't be helpful. Now I came back and read everyone's great ideas and solutions and I'm sure you can work it out. When you have your "discussion" give her a list of materials and time spent so you can show her why the worth of your quilts is say--$1500. Back your value up with a few comparable Ebay or Etsy offerings. Don't be too extravagant, just state the facts. Then let her know you would be willing to barter for that amount of her beautiful artwork. If she is a pro and has sold some art, then the valuation of her stuff is easy to figure. If she is a talented amateur, the value can be determined by what you would be willing to pay for some of her stuff--not what SHE thinks it's worth, but actually what someone would be willing to pay. I'm sure we all know she doesn't have a clue what a hand-crafted quilt costs. Then if she agrees, you can sell her that one or build her a new one--but I bet it won't come to that. Now I'll "momma bear" a bit and growl "SHAME ON HER!" There--I feel better..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Primitive1 Posted May 30, 2012 Report Share Posted May 30, 2012 I too agree with everyone's ideas, however, if she still wants you to have the small watercolor, I'd just make her a smaller wall hanging that is more in line with her trade...and keep your big quilt! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanaFuller Posted May 30, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 30, 2012 She showed me a picture on the internet of what my picture would look like and I do like the picture. I was thinking it would be bigger or something. Especially since she saw the quilt top. She doesn't sell her artwork. She does watercolors for hobby only. I'm just going to pray about it and talk to her when she gets back into town. I agree that being honest is the best thing to do. If that doesn't work out, then I am in the clear. I'll post pics tomorrow. My quilter friend at work was amazed that this was my second quilt! She said NO Way would she get rid of it!!! She'd be too attached to it. Thanks for making me feel better about it. She always tells me the truth too LOL.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bonnie H Posted May 30, 2012 Report Share Posted May 30, 2012 Ann Marie, I'm hoping you can figure a way to keep your quilt and offer a little more of a fair trade. Maybe suggest to her that you hadn't really thought it through and didn't realize she would pick this particular quilt that you are very attached to but that you would be happy to make a quilt of her choosing (you have to okay the pattern though) and let her purchase the fabrics, batting, thread, and pattern, and you in turn purchase or pay for the supplies she spent to do her painting for you, size of your choosing. Then you are simply trading your talents and time and it would be something you knew from the start that you were making for her and not something as special as your second quilt that turned out beautiful (congratulations, BTW!!!). I have been quilting a little bit free for a guild member. This last quilt I've been working on, each border is 2 inches larger than the center of the quilt. I spent nearly 2 hours loading it and quilting two rows, only to spend 21 hours unstitching what I had quilted because the borders were just TOOOOO wavy, then 3 hours fixing her borders so they would lay flatter. I am into it all those hours and am back at square one. It's not something I intend to tell her happened because I don't want to insult her piecing skills, but it does have me rethinking if I want to quilt for free anymore. So I guess I learned my lesson this week, too. It's funny how reading others' experiences and then having my own have really changed my feelings about the little $$ here and there I make quilting for others. Plus I haven't made or quilted one of my own in a long time ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susanne.Hughes Posted May 31, 2012 Report Share Posted May 31, 2012 Go to your quilt guild and have it professionally valued. This should really be done for any quilt that is given away or sold. The value is then determined by an independant, unbiased third party and less likely to be argued with. It also means that the recipient is aware of how much they need to insure it for. You, personally telling her what time and effort goes into it, is not going to cut it and she wont understand. You might be bartering but the bartering should still be kept at a professional level and reflect true values. (A professional valuation also ensures that a piece lovingly constructed and pieced and then quilted doesn't become a bed for some four legged furry friends no matter how much they are loved! ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoseCity Quilter Posted May 31, 2012 Report Share Posted May 31, 2012 Tricky situation....Lots of good advice here. My advice, don't go ahead, you will always wish you hadn't! Hard as it is, you need to defend your position.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LisaC Posted May 31, 2012 Report Share Posted May 31, 2012 When bartering in my previous business I only traded labor for labor. Each party pays for the materials of the item they are receiving at retail prices. (I had a retail fabric store and some thought I should pay retail cost because that is what they actually paid while they get my stuff at my wholesale cost. NOT.) Both parties should be willing to do a good faith estimate of labor and then decide if each of you wants to go through with it. It worked for me and no hard feelings. Ann Marie, My opinion: I feel you should not part with your quilt and tell her "I just can't part with it"! I feel you would regret it later. Praying about the situation is always good! I pray this all works out for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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