Quilting Heidi Posted August 10, 2009 Report Share Posted August 10, 2009 OK everybody I need opinion here. Today we had a birthday for my assistant and I made cake. One of my IT guys came and he loves to eat. Anyway we all got to talking and my assistant said it was her favorite cake, Little Bits of chocolate cake. I said, "this is my daughters favorite cake too." Well the IT guy asked how old my daughter was. I told him she was about a year younger than him and told him she was cute too. He asked me if she worked, had a degree and if she could cook. I said yes to all. Told him I send him a picture of her. The picture I sent was kind of sideways and I told him it wasn't the best one I had but here you go. His response was, "Wow! Feel free to send me another." Well I found another one of her and he said, "Tell her to text me." Now I sent this to daughter who got completely creeped out! LOL she said it is creepy that her mother would be setting her up. I told her 1. I wouldn't set her up with a creep and 2. I was just looking out for her. She hasn't dated since she broke up with her fiance and I think she is a beautiful girl and should start dating. She wants to move to NC so doesn't want to date here. I told her he doesn't want to stay in NY either so it is ok. So here is my question, do you all think that is creepy? I think I'm just looking out for my girl. After all if I like him he must be ok! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ffq-lar Posted August 10, 2009 Report Share Posted August 10, 2009 :D:D Heidi, tell your daughter that all "arranged marriages" work out great! You can be sure that if you were on the loose and looking for a new hubby (heaven forbid!!) that she would have plenty to say about your choices and probably want to set you up with a nice guy she may know! I can't figure out why the kids always figure they know more about life than we do!:cool: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudyLynn Posted August 10, 2009 Report Share Posted August 10, 2009 Heidi, I sure do not see a darn thing wrong with looking out for our kids best interest. Of course, that is coming from a mom who is also trying to set her son up with her future daughter in law. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quilting Heidi Posted August 10, 2009 Author Report Share Posted August 10, 2009 Originally posted by ffq-lar :D:D Heidi, tell your daughter that all "arranged marriages" work out great! LOL you are really trying to get me killed! I told her who knows her better than her mama! She told me we need to have a discussion about boundries! :P:P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollyrw Posted August 10, 2009 Report Share Posted August 10, 2009 Not creepy, from a mother's point of view anyway. I'm not sure how my kids would feel. I have been tempted to do the same thing with some of the young men here at work but the girls always seemed to have a boyfriend whenever I came across someone for them. On the other hand, one time my oldest daughter asked me if I knew X, who worked in our sales department. She and a friend had met him at the beach or a party or something. I was horrified... but I hid it well. While X was cute and gainfully employed, he was not someone I wanted my daughter to spend a lot of time with. I also took down the pictures of my daughters when one of the guys asked me who the "hot chick" in the photo was. I told him "jail bate". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susanne.Hughes Posted August 10, 2009 Report Share Posted August 10, 2009 No, not so creepy Heidi ;)........... but! The decision has to be hers. My children and I talk about everything, which to me is good...... both Geoff and I have always had a "no topic bared open door you can tell us anything policy". As long as you arm her with the same information that you gave your work colleague (ie pictures and general info), they are old and "big" enough to take it from there. :DGood Luck to all involved and keep us posted. Afterall, we are all family here and now she has all her "Aunties" involved as well. :P:P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IBQLTN2 Posted August 10, 2009 Report Share Posted August 10, 2009 Heidi I guess if she was creeped out about it then it wasnt okay for her. Some girls might appreciate a little help, but maybe she is one that would rather do it herself, from the sounds of it she is very independent. My daughter wouldnt be creeped out, but neither would she find the same guy attractive that I would think was atttractive by the way anyone have a 33 to 38 year old eligible son who is wantimng to settle down and have a family. My daughter is 35 the love of her life, soul mate, etc, etc just broke her heart . He was 30 and not ready to settle down and have kids and as she says her biological clock is ticking. she is devastated. they were together 2 years and she thought all was great and they would be getting married soon and having a family. Maybe we can hook a bunch of them up here Great Idea, right Heidi!! All mother in laws that quilt have to be a good thing!!lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quiltmonkey Posted August 10, 2009 Report Share Posted August 10, 2009 Heidi, you tell Mr. IT Man that Shana in Alaska says that he has to pass HER test in order to date your daughter. OK And the advice that I tell all the girls I know who want to date (and marry) is that the guy has to "Swim Through Shark Infested Waters To Bring You an Iced Tea" and ... you can add "and on the second time she wants an iced tea, he needs to bring one back to her that has the Little Paper Umbrella and a Straw In it. OK? That's the test. Tell him, sure... My daughter works, has a degree and she can cook, and she's pretty, but she don't swim in shark waters so he better start getting used to retrieving those iced teas. Serious!!! Start taking swimming lessons, dude cuz Shana says that's what ya gotta do if you want my daughter! :cool: And... if the guy is the type that will not hesitate to dive in the water to get as many iced teas as she wants, then that is the guy she will marry. He passed the test. Simple. Easy peasy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobbi Posted August 10, 2009 Report Share Posted August 10, 2009 What 's his degree in? How much does he make, is he a traditional man or a man of the future... is he afraid to show his feelings? What's his relationship with his mother, sisters, and friends... Does he feel he has to be the breadwinner? How does he treat the women around him? Is he good with children? OH, there are sooooo many more questions! I wish my 44 year old son would find a great woman! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quiltmonkey Posted August 10, 2009 Report Share Posted August 10, 2009 Yeah, ditto everything that Bobbi says plus he has to swim through shark infested waters to bring her an iced tea. With a little paper umbrella and a sipping straw. Does she like her tea sweet? He needs to swim to get some sugar for it, too, even it it's an extra mile for that sugar. She needs to be treated like the princess that she is and prove his worthiness. And you think I am kidding? I kid you not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stagecl Posted August 11, 2009 Report Share Posted August 11, 2009 It wouldn't work with my DD, she'd take me out and shoot me:P and then hang me out to dry:P:P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lizziesgirl Posted August 11, 2009 Report Share Posted August 11, 2009 Just tell her to go out and just see, if he's weird in some way she can hold it over your head forever and she will love that. If it does work out she can hold that over your head also for not setting her up sooner. Either way you would be getting bashed and what daughter doesn't like to pick on her mom like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DoryJM Posted August 11, 2009 Report Share Posted August 11, 2009 Arranged marriages can be quite successful. I set my "daughter," Elly, up with my friends' "son," Knight, and 10 mos later, Elly's Knightmare (aka Emma) was born. Perfect!:P:D:P She'll be two on the 13th of this month! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmcclannan Posted August 11, 2009 Report Share Posted August 11, 2009 Creepy -NO Caring - Yes. You want her to go have some fun and starting to date again is important. Gosh, what's a mom good for if she can't do a little match-making and annoy her daughter in the process??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bonnie Posted August 11, 2009 Report Share Posted August 11, 2009 I so echo, Shana, Susanne, and Bobbi.....they were spot on...and NO I don't think its creepy to set up a blind date so to speak, or a texting session between adults. She is the one who needs to decide if there is a second step, there isn't anything at all being friends with an intelligent person who may or may not be groom material. Time will only tell if they even go there, and they could very well become the best of buds...and personally a best friend makes a better lover than a lover becoming a good friend. This coming from someone who married her best friend....35 years ago..and I will walk on fire to get his ice tea and he will do the same for me....:P:P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quiltmonkey Posted August 11, 2009 Report Share Posted August 11, 2009 Tell her it's no big deal to take an hour and to meet him for a cup of coffee (or iced tea) and if she likes him, she can meet for more iced tea at a later time. But the second date he better start buying scuba gear with feet fins. He will need those fins to keep ahead of those sharks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
witha'K'quilting Posted August 11, 2009 Report Share Posted August 11, 2009 I can certainly say that my husband passed the Shana test many years ago! Hooray for that. He must be a keeper! It's a good thing I already knew that! 13 years and 7 kids later....that's a great thing! Heidi...in regards to your daughter...she can decide to contact him or not. Her choice. All I know is that way back, when I was dating, I never picked the guys that Mom liked...yet in the end...she was pleased with my final choice! Don't be upset or broken hearted if this isn't the guy for her. She will still make her own choices. You are certainly giving her options though which is good. You are a caring and loving Mom. Way to go! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quilting Heidi Posted August 11, 2009 Author Report Share Posted August 11, 2009 LOL you guys are hilarious! Shana love the shark test and yes she likes sweet tea...didn't live in NC for a good portion of her life to come away not liking sweet tea! I think it was more of a "breaking the boundaries" thing. She is a hoot and I definitely think it is her choice. I would never have suggested it if he didn't pass my test! He is a nice "kid" and yes he is very close with his family and adores his mom and isn't afraid to say it! We always tease him because the boy can eat and he is always so appreciative! Hey you never know where things could go. He is working on his masters degree in Computer science, isn't afraid of an honest days work and is always respectful. I'll let you know how it goes. You all are the best! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrsbishwit Posted August 11, 2009 Report Share Posted August 11, 2009 Heidi; I can understand how your daughter feels...About 23 years or so ago my own mother fixed me up with a guy she worked with....BAD IDEA!!! To make a long story short she kept telling me this guy was a great guy, would be perfect for me etc... so in order to get her to stop interferring in my love life I decided what could it hurt to go out with this guy once or twice. Well the guy ended up being a total looser...no ambition in life a total coach potato. Not some one I could see myself with for any legnth of time. My mom learned a very important lesson, what she thought was a good catch was my worst nightmare. On the bright side though a year or so after that I did find a great guy which I did end up marrying (which btw my mom tried to talk me out of marrying). And 20 years later I know I made the right choice. My advice to you Heidi is trust your daughter to make/ choose the right guy for her. If your IT guy from work is meant to be then somehow she will end up meeting him somehow eventualy. Also if he asked if she has a degree, cooks etc... sounds to me that he is looking for someone to take care of him and not someone to share a life with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quilting Heidi Posted August 11, 2009 Author Report Share Posted August 11, 2009 Joann who knows and honestly I just want to see her go out and have fun. I wasn't looking for long term anything. I think he asked those questions because so many of the girls don't want anything to do with cooking and don't have any ambitions in life. He is actually a very hard worker. It all started out as a joke and I shared the string of emails with daughter. I know better than to try to sway her because she has always had a mind of her own! She will only do what she wants and I know that. After breaking up with her finace and calling off the wedding I know she will not settle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mary Beth Posted August 11, 2009 Report Share Posted August 11, 2009 Disclaimer....no offense to anyone I may or may not know on this site that has anything to do with IT, (Linda Card...that means you). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ffq-lar Posted August 11, 2009 Report Share Posted August 11, 2009 Hey!!! My son is an IT guy...Oh wait, he isn't dull. But he IS weird!! (Kiss kiss--love you, Adam!):P:P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neher-in-law5 Posted August 11, 2009 Report Share Posted August 11, 2009 Heidi, tell her that something was missed in the how this got started! He showed interest in her first, not you out beating the bushes to find a new man for her. Have her drop by the office sometime when you know he can be identified without him knowing she is there. then she can text all she wants or not. I hope she has a chance soon to find a good friend for life, however they chose to develop the friendship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheri Butler Posted August 11, 2009 Report Share Posted August 11, 2009 KUDOS to U Madelyn! You took the words right out of my mouth! I was like....wait a minute? Has she even seen this dude? Come on here.....give ole mom a break! At least, take a peek at the package, and THEN decide if you want to open it up or not! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BethDurand Posted August 11, 2009 Report Share Posted August 11, 2009 Being from the side of your daughter, i.e. the one being set up, I've had some really great blind dates. My friend's mother in law set me up with a guy who lived approx. 6 hours away from me. Great guy, but that distance thing kind of killed it. My mother, the former ER nurse, was always on the lookout for me. I have heard many times that she "almost brought someone home for you last night." Creepy? No. My mom figured that my methods weren't working, so she was going to step in. Granted, one year my new years resolution was to have a date during the next 365 days. The next year was to date someone from the same state. Sometimes, the guys that you see in front of you aren't the ones you want your daughter, or son, to go out with, and as a parent, you figure you can do better. Who does it hurt? Your kid did pretty well by picking you for a parent, so who's to say that they can't find a date for you too? Besides, Mark Lipinski is playing matchmaker for a friend's child, why not you? Just let us know if advance when the wedding will be. All of the "aunties" will want to participate in making the wedding quilt. (LOL) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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