NQR What's your most embarrassing moment (that you can tell)

[mswings]

Ok, I've got one. This was many years ago when I was in Nursing school. I had been given an assignment to give a man a bed bath. I walked in to the room, introduced myself and told him I was there to give him a bath. His wife looked up at me and said OK a little hesitantly. I started to run the water and noticed that the curtain was pulled around the gentleman in the other bed. I peeked in to see an old gentleman who was in a coma!!! Putting 2 and 2 together I asked to see the first mans armband. Woops... my bad!! He was going to let me give him a bed bath:D:D:D He told me he knew I had the wrong pt but wasn't about to stop a cute little nurse from her duty:D:D:D I'm sure I turned a beautiful shade of crimson! I couldn't believe he was going to do that. I was even more surprised that his wife was going to let me bathe him. I went out and told my teacher and she just laughed. She said I would never make that mistake again and I haven't. I always check my armbands!

[BethDurand]

Here's my moment, from so many years ago at college. I (used to) play double bass. You know, the big violin looking thing. I'm playing with the Portland Youth Philharmonic, but they've invited other musicians from around the world to join us for an anniversary concert. Most bassist sit down on a stool when they play, but at the time I stood up. However, I had a stool for the long concert and could sit down during our60 plus measures of rest. Of course I was carefully counting along with the conductor so that I would know when to come in, but then got distracted, and then lost. Fearing that I would enter late, I stood up off my stool and got ready to play. By the way, this was in the midst of an oboe solo, very quiet moment in the piece. While standing up, I managed to knock my 3 foot tall metal stool off of the riser that we were placed on where it went "CRASH!!" to the floor of the auditorium. Then some careful stagehand took it away so that no one would trip over it, but didn't pick it up to carry it. Instead they dragged it across the floor going "Screech!" for some time. By the way, we were recording the concert. Is it any wonder I wasn't asked to return to play with them the next year? I'm sure the oboist never forgave me either.

[quiltmonkey]

Beth.... :P:P:P:P:P

[francine]

I was single 2 young children wood heat, no running water (fixtures there, just no water) I hauled my water in 5 gal buckets.

I worked full time, farmed and my house was usually clean but messy.(sometimes really messy)

My 2nd future inlaws were coming for lunch on a sat.at noon, 2 hours early my fiance(UGH) called into the house-"they're here" WHAT!!!??? I screamed "stall them". they were already in thier 80's and slow so i knew i had a coulpe min leeway.

I screamed at the kids GRAB ANYTHING ON THE FLOOR/FURNITURE AND PUT IT IN THIS LAUNDRY BASKET I took the other basket and put dirty dishes and pans etc. My car was parked at the barnlot gate so they would be able to park at the house, i ran out the door with the first basket and chucked it in the car. My fiance was doing good out front, i grabbed the other basket and chucked it in too. I was coming back in the back door as they came in the front. They apologized for being a little early(yeah right) I finished getting the meal ready as we talked. Things went pretty well, considering i looked rather dishevelled and smelled more than a little sweaty. Then as they were leaving i heard the words "francine, let's have a look at that new hiefer you're so proud of" followed by "sure dad." OH CRAP my beseaching look didn't cut thru to my fiance(UGH). i got slightly ahead of the pack as they progressed towards the barnlot, towards the car, i tried to position myself so they would make a wide berth around the tiny packed car but dimwit took them around the otherside. i saw my future mil discover the contents of the car our eyes met across the top of the car, i blurted "yard sale, i am getting ready for a yardsale at my girlfriends". All she said was "Oh" Not one of my more stellar moments.......:D:D:D:D:D

[Merryjo2003]

"The Tile Comet:" I was hauling a horse I just purchased from Silver Springs, Nevada, back to California. I stopped at a pizza place for dinner and ordered my meal. It was one of those "self serve" places with a salad bar. I went to the ladies room and somehow ended up with a 6 ft. long toilet paper tail. Of course, there was a post-game baseball team in there yuckin' it up when I had arrived. Then I'm up and down, to the salad bar, getting refills on tea, etc. I kept thinking they were having an awefully good time, but didn't know it was at my expense. I didn't find the tail until I got back in my truck. I heard a "crunch", shifted around, didn't see anything. Then I reached to close the door and saw a "tail" leading clear to the ground. I was mortified!

I made the mistake of telling one of my "friends" at work (I was a supervisor). She laughed so hard she wet herself (which I thought was worse, but somehow never got mentioned) and pretty soon, everyone knew of my plight. All kinds of greeting cards, jokes, etc. where found and given to me (for months). One of them was the "Tile Comet" card. Very discriptive and to which the "most embarrassing moment" became known and aptly named. Then, to top it off, every time we got a new employee, someone would say, "Tell them about the Tile Comet!" So I got to relive it time after time. I tried just not discussing it, but then someone else would jump in and tell the story, adding all sorts of embellishments. I soon learned it was just better to tell my version.

[victoriasews]

My millie was on the porch for me to quilt a few seasons ago, waiting for my DH to finish the studio in the attic. DH is so sweet but does sometimes become romantic at inconvenient times. I was trying to quilt and he came up behind me and started "making advances". We were laughing and I was trying to get him to quit touching me. We live down a long lane and are surrounded by woods, so no one ever is around. That is what we though until we discovered the UPS man had delivered a package (He parked at the top of the lane and ran the package down so we didn't hear him). We looked at each other totally stunned. You can't imagine how difficult it is to receive a package a few days later from the same man, knowing he knows more about you than you'd like to admit.

[victoriasews]

And then there was a time at a women's church retreat where I was standing next to 2 groups of women in different conversations - one was talking about tampons and my group was talking about eye drops. You should have heard the gasps when the first group heard me say I could never get those things in by myself and that my husband has to hold me down while my daughter puts them in.

[JustSewSimple]

1. One hot summer I decided to put on my 2-piece swimsuit and get out back of the house where no one would see me to sun tan. Not long after getting settled Mike drove up for lunch with a prize for me - an automatic pistol and a target. He insisted on showing me how to use it. After about the 3rd shot one of the shell casings jumped up and landed in my top. It was hot as fire and I came out of that top in 2 seconds flat checking to see the blister it made on my tender boob. As he and I were checking it out we heard the road hands laughing and whooping it up - they had stopped working and had settled under a large shade tree for lunch. They would have never noticed me without the noise of the gun! Ugg!

2. One summer we vacationed in Virginia Beach, VA. I was standing in knee deep water when a large wave washed over me and knocked me down. When I stood up and wiped my eyes, I discovered my top was missing! All of VA was looking right at me! Double Ugg!

[bobbi]

Back in the '70's, I was teaching a modeling class on poise. As the class was over and we walked out the door, my skirt fell off! 'nuff said.

[Mary Beth]

With all the problems we have with bathing suits....I'm surprised we go to the trouble of even wearing them :P

In thinking about this and reading your stories, I really don't have anything that I can think of. You all know the dumb stuff I do.

[cblevins]

I teach GED classes to kids 17 to 20 years old. Most of them are court ordered into my program as part of their probation and they are just a little "rough" around the edges. On the last day of school a couple of years ago I let them visit the last half hour of class. One young man asked if he could borrow my cell phone to call his ride...I let him. I noticed they were all grouped up together giggling with my phone but thought they were taking pictures. I even thought how cute it was to leave pictures of themselves for me. They returned my phone as they left and I thought how fun it would be to look at all the pictures with my husband later. I stopped at the drugstore to pick up a prescription on my way home...the line was LONG. I had my hands full of other purchases and it was QUIET in that line. All of a sudden we all hear this gruff voice saying "answer your phone". It says that 3 times getting MUCH LOUDER each time. I realized it was coming from my purse and everyone was staring at me. While I was trying to juggle my things and reach for my phone it says "What the #### is wrong with you? Answer the ####### phone!!!" extremely loud. I realized then that my little darlings had changed my ringtone. I was mortified. I got out of line, found a cart and left my stuff in it and walked out of the store. Thank heavens I didn't see them again for a couple of months!!!

[PattyJo]

Oh, what a great thread. Laughing every time I stop quilting and check on it!

[quiltingjoyful51]

Thank You all for the great laughs. My sides hurt. and I can't think of anything nearly as good as has been posted.

[witha'K'quilting]

Alright...here goes.

My husband has delivered our children at home. He also takes pictures of me and the new little one shortly (read immediately) after birth. No problem there. I can handle the whole process or I wouldn't have 7 kids okay)

He keeps all the pictures on his computer and has recently started photo streaming pictures as his screen saver when he is away from the computer. Now, he runs not one..but two very large monitors on his system.

The other day, I was standing near his computer talking to him and one of his friends...when the photos of me...laying in bed, covered up to my lower chest, holding our new little one appears. Fortunately I am able to stand partially in front of the monitor while trying to stop the screen saver fumbling with the mouse. Our friend grins and says nothing...while my husband is trying to figure out what is wrong with me.

[CindyT]

Don't think I can top yours but here goes:

I was at my uncle's house and he has horses out back of the house. Well I love horses and since I can't have my own any more I wanted to go pet his horses. The horses came just close enough to the fence that I couldn't reach them. You could tell they wanted petted and I was bound determined to reach over far enough to pet them. Well my relatives were all standing at the sliding glass door at the back of the house just watching me. I waved at them and then turned around to reach over the fence to pet the horses when my boob got zapped. Yep, you guessed it, there was an electric wire that I couldn't see on the other side of the top board of the fence. All I remember is the laughter coming from the back of the house when I finally caught my breath and quit clutching my boob! Those horses were smart...the human was not.

[witha'K'quilting]

Does anybody else notice how many of our embarassing moments involve our boobs!!!

[anita]

Oh, my Sylvia. There must be a bathing suit monster in Va Beach. We grew up there...it happened often.

Best story was of my gorgeous sexy little blonde niece when she was about 17. The first wave sucked her top (what there was of it) into the vast ocean. She turned away from shore, covering herself and laughing herself silly. Along came the next wave and wrapped it around her neck. We lost it!

This has been fun...I've laughed more today than in quite a while. It has been therapeutic after 3 days of layoffs.

Anita

[PattyJo]

Laughter is better than just about anything ( maybe there is one or 2 things that are better?):D:D

[LinneaMarie]

OK, here goes.

I was 15 and having pains in my side ............again. We were getting dressed after gym class. So I went to the nurse, they called home, doctor called and said bring me in; emergency appendectomy.

Before surgery I had to go to X-Ray.(Can you see it coming??) The techie in x-ray says, " go in that stall and put this gown on." Then he stands me in front of the machine and says, "Do you still have your slip on?" "Yes, my underwear too." I say. He replies " Well, go in there and take EVERYTHING OFF!!" I'm like "?? EVERYTHING??" YES, EVERYTHING!! He was kinda pissy.

Oh yea, I came out stark raving nakeeddo, cept for my tennies and a necklace! I laugh now, but boy was I embarrassed. Maybe more so for the fact I'd never had an x-ray before and didn't know what to do.

[quiltinginthecountry]

Thank you Anita for starting this. I laughed so hard the cat

got scared.

Hopefully we will do this again. I will share my story on

" How I learned the American language".

I'm Dutch/American.

Thank you ladies. Your stories are delightful.

[lisalnewman]

Nadia,

I did let on to my hubby that I had indeed been outside, apparently the expression on my face when he asked me if I had been outside naked was all he needed to know.

I am glad you all got a laugh out of my most embarrassing moment.

Lisa

[pam elab]

OMG these are hilarious!

One summer, my cousin Sarah was coming to visit me in Maine. She took a bus from wherever, and I had to drive to Portland to pick her up. My right foot was in a cast from falling out of a loft (smooth move there), and I was on crutches. I pulled up to the front of the bus station and parked in front of a big plate glass window. The bus had just arrived, and I could see her, along with many other people, inside the terminal. I decided not to use my crutches, I would just "hop" a few steps on one foot, wave madly and get her attention, and she would come out. We made eye contact as I hopped toward the window, waving my arms. Unfortunately, I didn't look down to see those huge curbs they put down to keep the buses from rolling. I will never forget the look on her face as she watched me trip over the curb and face plant onto the pavement.

[Stagecl]

I second the thank you on starting this topic. I have never laughed so hard in my life. Thank you for making my day.

[nineva]

You guys are hilarious. Made my day!!! I am still laughing....

[Butterfly]

I am soooo loving this topic.

Here's one from me: I lived in Honduras for a while and used to shop for food in the street. There were carts with vegetables and small shacks where you could find things like juice and eggs. Well, one day I went up to one of these shacks and asked the man inside, "Tiene juevos?" I just needed some eggs. I learned though, that you're not supposed to go up to a man and ask him if he's got "eggs". Ooops.

Jessica