ffq-lar Posted July 12, 2013 Report Share Posted July 12, 2013 The co-president of my guild died on the fourth of July, less than two weeks after being diagnosed with multiple cancers. She was a generous and funny lady who left a devastated family and all who loved her in the guild. I have her last quilt in my studio ready to be quilted. It's flannel top and bottom and was destined to be a Christmas quilt for her DH. I don't think he even knows about it. My plan is to quilt it and a friend will bind it so we can present it to her husband. I want to wait at least a month before I get it to the family. My thought is that having some time pass from the first shock of loss and the memorial service will allow her family to not associate this last quilt with her recent passing, but think of it as her last sweet gift to them. Plus I can't imagine I'll be able to finish it without crying a bucket of tears. I hope I'm doing the right thing. The guild has collected heart blocks from the membership to build a quilt to comfort the family so a remembrance will be ready before her memorial in a few weeks. I guess all I have left to say is--if you love them, tell them. People can be gone from your life in an instant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Busy Quilting Posted July 12, 2013 Report Share Posted July 12, 2013 Linda my thoughts are with you and also your guild at this time. I am sure the family will love the heart quilt. Her DH's Christmas quilt will be loved even more. Sending you hugs so that you can complete what will be a difficult quilt, but will be filled with loving memories. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne from Guam Posted July 12, 2013 Report Share Posted July 12, 2013 I like your idea about waiting but I suggest wait until Thanksgiving if possible. The holidays are tough that first year....and then they can use the Christmas quilt and be wrapped up in her love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gypsyquilter Posted July 12, 2013 Report Share Posted July 12, 2013 that is truly a sad story, Linda, my condolences on the loss of your friend. I can only offer that I think letting some time pass will help the family with the their immediate and intense grief shock of their loss. Presenting them the quilt the way you knew she wanted it to be presented, as a christmas gift to her husband, I think would bring an incredible sense of joy and healing to this family and will come at a time when they will be thinking about her and how she lived, versus the shock of losing her so quickly, perhaps. I know how you feel about quilting something for a loved one. I made a memory quilt for my mom out of all my dad's old big bright Hawaiian shirts. It took me two years after he passed to even think about starting it, but when I did, I still cried my eyes out while doing it, but it was truly a healing process for me and I felt my dad was with me very step of the way. It was the best gift I ever gave my mom. what ever you decide will be right, just follow you heart. thoughts are with you, Christine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cblevins Posted July 12, 2013 Report Share Posted July 12, 2013 Oh how wonderful that her husband will get this final gift. I have to agree about waiting a little longer than a month though. At first a person is so raw that NOTHING is comforting. Wait if you can, until it can truly bring him comfort. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beachside Quilter Posted July 12, 2013 Report Share Posted July 12, 2013 How very sad, Linda. My condolences to you and the family as well as the other guild members and friends. The quilt for Christmas will be a lovely surprise and remind the family members of her skill and joy in making quilts. A wonderful final gift. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RitaR Posted July 12, 2013 Report Share Posted July 12, 2013 Prayers for the family and all involved. Rita Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustSewSimple Posted July 12, 2013 Report Share Posted July 12, 2013 I agree with Anne! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quiltmonkey Posted July 12, 2013 Report Share Posted July 12, 2013 Oh dearest lovely Linda! I am so sorry about your beloved friend passing away..... Of course --- you are doing the right thing. Yes, wait and let time pass a while before giving it to him. There is a time and a place for everything...and you will know when the time is "right" to give the quilt back to him. It will be a bittersweet gift. I know you will do it all just perfectly and it will be a cherished event. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meg Posted July 12, 2013 Report Share Posted July 12, 2013 I'm sorry, Linda. I'll be praying for all those she so suddenly left behind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoseCity Quilter Posted July 13, 2013 Report Share Posted July 13, 2013 That is a sad story.....I think your ideas a great.....what a thoughtful person you are..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enchanted Quilting Posted July 13, 2013 Report Share Posted July 13, 2013 The family will think this is the most touching gesture. Every quilt always has a story! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delld Posted July 13, 2013 Report Share Posted July 13, 2013 Oh, Linda I'm so sorry for you , he family and he guild. How very,very sad. You are so special! Yes I agree with all the above ladies. Got you and all in my prayers. Hugs!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jbnt9999 Posted July 13, 2013 Report Share Posted July 13, 2013 That is such a great idea, You could sneak it under the tree as a surprise Christmas gift since that is what she had intended it for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathyh Posted July 13, 2013 Report Share Posted July 13, 2013 This is such a sad story, Linda for you, your guild, the family. You will do a beautiful job, through your tears, to finish the gift your friend wanted to give her husband. My thoughts are with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quilting Heidi Posted July 13, 2013 Report Share Posted July 13, 2013 Linda I'm sorry for you loss and will keep the family in my prayers. Remember your friend will be smiling down on you for finishing her last gift to her DH. It will no doubt bring on a bucket load of tears but the comfort it will provide will be never ending. Hugs to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Primitive1 Posted July 14, 2013 Report Share Posted July 14, 2013 Just checking in and saw your story - Ditto on what Heidi said well....your quilting will be a comfort to her family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shar Schmutz Posted July 14, 2013 Report Share Posted July 14, 2013 Linda, the cycle of life never stops, these events teach us to love and live while we can, and you are so right; if you love them, tell them! I agree you will know the correct time to give her last gift to her husband, I cannot imagine how difficult it will be to quilt her last quilt, but you will pour enough love into it to make it even more special for her husband and family. It is special of the guild to make a quilt of comfort for the family in such a short time is just another example what quilters can achieve through our shared art and what a wonderful family we are! Blessings and good thoughts coming your way especially while you are quilting her quilt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dlnewell Posted July 14, 2013 Report Share Posted July 14, 2013 I think you are doing the right thing by quilting it and giving it in a month or so. The grieving process is different for everyone, but I can't help thinking this quilt will give great comfort to her husband. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Leo Posted July 14, 2013 Report Share Posted July 14, 2013 Linda, I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. Today is the anniversary of the death of my significant other one year ago. He died of a massive heart attack while on a river trip. Last Christmas I made a "love" quilt for my guy, he always kept it on the foot of his bed. We both shared tears when he opened it and when he read the love letter I included with it. While his family was going through his things, they found the letter and of course the quilt on his bed. They gave the quilt and the letter back to me a couple of months after his death. His quilt is now on my chair in my bedroom, it brings me comfort to know I gave it to him with my love and his family gave it back to me with their love and support in my loss. He was a beautiful man with a beautiful soul that I miss more than I can say, but I now have my love quilt back to feel his love when I wrap it around me. You will be inspired to finish this quilt of love dear Linda, and you will know the right time to present it to her husband. Put your hand in "His" and let "Him" lead you through your grief. Even though I do not know you, I send you a strength and a warm hug, Kat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibbyG Posted July 15, 2013 Report Share Posted July 15, 2013 You're so thoughtful, Linda. And your message is so true. Let everyone know you love them, so when they pass, you'll have no regrets. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linda G. Craig Posted July 16, 2013 Report Share Posted July 16, 2013 I too am so sorry for all who loved your friend. Such a shock for everyone. What a lovely gift to the family, two quilts to wrap themselves in. Work your magic, my friend, as only you can do, they will be forever grateful. ((((Hugs)))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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