I'm gone

[pumpkinpatchquilter]

Hi there Rita, I'm very new to this forum but am sad to hear the distress in your posting.  I can tell you first hand it's so easy to misunderstand the intentions in a forum like this.  So much is lost when people are not face to face - all of that body language and those unsaid words that are such a huge part of how we communicate.  I am new around here and have yet to get to know you - but I sure hope that opporunity is not lost and that you will return soon. 

 

- Valerie

[IQuiltToo]

Rita, I have been on this site for a # of years.  I do not post often due to other obligations and time.  I have learned so much here, and much of it thru you.  Your prayers have just been beautiful as your quilting tips and questions have been.  I often just do not take the time to respond and that is my fault - but not intentional.  I hope you will indeed just take a little break.  This forum has been such a great resource for me and your input has been invaluable..I treasure you, your comments, prayers and encouragement for everyone.

 

Hope to see you back here again very soon.

[RoseCity Quilter]

Oh Rita, please do lot leave, I would wiss you! So sorry you fell left out....

[sewhappy]

Rita-

I know how you feel!  I too have posted and been "jumped over"- or someone will quote me and somehow it turns into their post-I once poured my heart out with something I was going thru at work and felt as tho I was "poo-pooed" and made to feel small about it-I will NEVER again make that mistake-I did realize then that the commerade here was really only for certain people (that is how it seems) There are some that go on & on about their issues that I don't even bother to read their posts! Tho there was an attempt I did NOT feel the so called apology I recieved was sincere and included somewhere in the posting it contained a "jeesh"-It took me a long time to come back yes my feelings were hurt but it was MY lesson learned-those are the small ones!  and if you sit back and really think about - Conversations do skip around and jump over one another when you get together with you friends for coffee or dinner!  That is human nature-So if you come here to learn it is a fantanstic forum! If you are looking for a place to build friendships, well I do think it may be possible for some....but I for one will keep that at face value.

[Zora]

We have had two members point out this problem now.  I think we should all take a minute and hear what they are saying.  If someone takes the time to post an answer to your question, or give input into their experience with a particular issue...the least they deserve is a Thank You. 

 

If you start a thread, check back on it as long as its still active.  If somebody has a question for YOU..it only takes a minute to answer it.  Remember, people took the time to answer YOUR question.

 

I've seen this happen a number of times, aslo.  A member posts a solution or opinion...three posts later one of the "Princesses" posts a nearly identical response...and gets raves while the first response gets not even a mention.  I realize its the internet, and not a personal conversation.  But if we want to include everyone, like we say we do, we can make a little better effort.

[CindyT]

Rita, so sorry you feel like you've been passed over at times.  I would imagine we all feel like that once in a while.  If I don't look at the forum EVERY day  (some days there's just not time, or the weather messes up my service, or for various other reasons), I know I've missed people's posts.  Then when I look at "WHAT'S NEW SINCE I LAST LOGGED IN", it might overwhelm me with so many, and then I tend to just look at the topics that interest me instead of every single post.  I would never intentionally ignore anyone's post, but I don't respond to very many posts either.  Sometimes I feel like I wouldn't word something correctly so I don't post.  I guess I should do more "LIKES" on those posts and then I wouldn't have to worry if what I write sounds encouraging to the person that posted the topic. 

 

I hope you can tell by the responses that you've received on your post that you are forum "family" here and that we CARE!  Take a break if you need to, but please don't "move away" like my face-to-face friends have done.  I turned to this forum when that happened so many times because I have made "friends" here that I would not have otherwise.  You would be missed terribly as would your stories involving Himself.   

[Quilting Heidi]

Wow I just am not sure what to say.  Rita I'm sorry you feel like you are being ignored.  I can tell you that if it were not for your help when I first got my DM I would never be where I am today.  You were a wealth of information and I've always said that.  

 

Sewhappy , I hate when I don't have names to go along so I'm sorry I cannot think of your first name at the moment (not my strength) & Lynn, I'm really sorry that you have felt left out too.  I really don't imagine that it is intentional that it would seem that somebody would ignore your posts and answer somebody else's.  I'm shocked at how some of you feel about this forum and posting here.  I'm also sad by terms such as "princesses" or that you would feel that you're sharing is either being ignored or you're being jumped on or over.  Lord knows I've shared plenty about my non-quilting life, good and bad and I don't think I really look for a response other than to get it off my chest and have some that understand because they are in the same place.  There have also been plenty of times that one person will post and I will just laugh out loud and boy does that make you feel better! 

 

I have been so blessed to meet so many forum members and build a friendship outside of the Internet.  I hope that you all stay and share.  I love hearing the stories good and bad and of course hearing about what your making and doing.  You have all given so much over the years.  Keep sharing.

[lisae]

I, too, am sorry some of our friends feel this way. I get so much out of this forum, not just quilting related. But these things happen face to face, too. We no longer have a guild here in our area due to these same kinds of issues. I sure miss the guild and the fun we had sharing our love for quilting. I am thankful for my dear friend, Lisa C. We get together to quilt and camp and just visit. Yes, our love for quilting brought us together but our friendship has become so much more. I feel the same way about my APQS Friends. I hope this forum doesn't go the way of our guild. I would truly miss all the friends I have made here.

[GrandmaLKB]

I wasn't going to post on this topic, but it seems there is a lot of discontent here ????   I don't always reply to a post or always GET a reply to my posts.  Sometimes we just need to vent and we feel better.   I love reading the new ideas, seeing the pictures and sharing information.   I have learned so much from so many.   I'm also sad and bit taken aback by the term ..."princesses".   I've never met any of you and might not ever meet you, but we all share a common thread with our quilting - whether we are just starting out or have been at it for a number of years. I value the input from the "veterans" and also love to read the excitement of a Newbie just starting out when learning a new design or getting their first longarm.  People are very busy and have a lot of things going on in our lives other than this forum !   I know for myself, I get busy or sidetracked and sometimes just skim over topics and sometimes it might be days before I even get on the forum at all.  I've learned over these last 2 weeks and dealing with 3 funerals that life is way too short to nit pik and grumble.  More important things take priority.    Quilting for me is a hobby I love and I hope to keep it that way until I can no longer do it.

 

 

[meg]

I don't even know what say.

Everyone here is so generous in sharing and helping others.

I appreciate our 'experts' and the time they take to help me.

I know my quilting leaves a bit to be desired.

But I have always felt encouraged and warmed by all the nice comments.

I have always felt this was a safe place to post pictures and get advice.

I love hearing about Kristina's girls soccer games.

I love praying for friends in need.

And the pictures...well, who doesn't love that?

This forum has been invaluable to me.

APQS's generosity in providing it is a testament to their commitment to us.

I feel blessed to be part if it.

We've all skipped over posts.

There are so many of them, it would be impossible to read them all.

The new 'like' feature, I use this rather than comment a lot.

Sometimes, I am at a loss to come up with a new adjective and don't want to be redundant.

Also, it's harder to type on my new iPad than my laptop.

I would never intentionally skip over anyone's posts.

I don't think any of us would do that.

If I have offended anyone, I apologize.

I value and love you all.

And I sincerely hope that everyone will phrase things using kind words so we have no more 'I'm gone' threads appear.

[peglu]

Though not all of us post or reply to posts, there are many of that enjoy this forum every day. It's a staple for me. I visit every morning with my coffee. I don't respond to a lot of posts because my questions or comments have already been addressed by others. I do use the new Like button as a way to acknowledge posts and comments. It is unfortunate that this may leave some feeling ignored. I personally feel that this is one of the more friendly and supportive forums out there. So sorry some are feeling left out. 

 

Peggy

[sewhappy]

Lynn-

"Princesses" You nailed it!  LOL

[chrisquilter]

For the APQS owners especially, this forum is invaluable. Where else can we ask a question about an issue with our machines and hear from someone else who had the same or similar issue and is willing to share their solution. It is wonderful that we have the ear of APQS in the form of Dawn Cavanaugh. She is always ready to give us the manufactures solution. How many times has she sent spec sheets from APQS to help a customer? She will follow up to make sure the problem is resolved. I agree, not being able to talk face to face can sometimes lead to misunderstandings. Sometimes we take offense where none was intended. As has been said, I love the excitement and growth I see in the newbies. I surely appreciate the expertise from those of you who have been at this a long time. You have no obligation to share your knowledge with this forum. I believe that willingness to share comes from the heart. I for one am a grateful recipient of your advice. This is a good place to land when you have had a trying quilting day. Thanks to all of you my friends. Chris

[Bonnie H]

Oh, Rita, please come back! I hate to know that you felt left out or skimmed over. You are so important here!!! I work from home and get lonely, so this is my go-to place to feel involved in something. I don't want you to go!! The list has changed so much since the forum look changed and I have noticed a lot of people not posting as much and some are gone. I miss seeing their advice and questions and will certainly miss you if you leave too, so please don't leave!!!!                                                                                

[sewhappy]

No one should apologize for not reading EVERY post or not getting here every day-

Life of course happens & some things are just not of intrest to everyone-that is OK.

But obviously more than one feels bad about some issues here!

Rita-I too hope you stay-I think your post struck a nerve with ALOT of people-Unfortunatly some are already missing the point-Oh well you tried -I was looking for the U2U button but it looks like its gone.

Also I feel that voicing your opion or letting someone know that your feelings are abit hurt does NOT merit the phrases "nit pick" or grumble"

Sewhappy-AKA Patty

[DawnCavanaugh]

Patty,

To send a u2u, click on the member's photo. That will take you to their personal page where you will see a button to send a personal message.

I don't know how to add anything to this particular post without repeating much of the sentiment already expressed by many. But I do speak from the heart when I say that any comments I may make are never meant to hurt or otherwise offend, only to help. If I jump in and answer a question I will also try to be more cognizant of the answers previous to mine and will give credit where it is due. I try to supplement answers already provided by other members but to be honest sometimes the posting strings get long and I may miss a post where the exact thing I am proposing has already been addressed. I promise to do a better job of reading carefully before responding.

As to questions not receiving an answer, if you ever need help and aren't getting the info you need here, please send me an email and I will do my best to get the answer for you.

So much can be misinterpreted through texts and emails, and even in face to face conversations. A good friend and I were discussing this just last Thursday. The day before I had sent a short but to-the-point text to my daughter. Later in the day she called and asked why I was angry with her. She interpreted my curt answer as anger and dismissal but the truth was that I was waiting in line at the grocery store and took that extra minute to answer her previous text before I made it to the cashier. My friend then shared a message that was part of her devotional prayer and thought for that day (coincidence?).... It went like this... "the facts you have are correct. It is the conclusion you have drawn from them that is wrong." (the fact is my answer to my daughter WAS short and to the point. The conclusion she drew from that, however, was way off.)

I hope we can continue to cultivate a caring, nurturing, safe place here for ALL quilters to share and feel welcome. I hope you'll give us a second chance, Rita.

[GrandmaLKB]

Well, we can go round and round on this for days and it won't solve a thing.   I have no more to say on this topic.  

[LisaC]

Dawn, What a powerful statement: "the facts you have are correct. It is the conclusion you have drawn from them that is wrong." This is so true; and I'm guilty of drawing the wrong conclusions. My DIL sent me an email the other day concerning me taking care of their two daughters while she was having their third child. Her Subject Line:  Instructions and Schedule.  The email went on to define my duties and the girls pre-school schedule including "make sure they are in bed no later than 8:00." I took this whole email wrong; it was brief, to the point and no thank you. I didn't say anything to her although it hurt my feelings and then after the baby was born we visited the hospital and I realized she meant absolutely nothing by it at all and was trying to be helpful. It was my "conclusion" that was wrong. I am so glad I didn't say anything to her that might have ended up with both of us having hurt feelings.

[cblevins]

Rita, I am sorry you were hurt. You have been a blessing to me.

 

For a thousand reasons I am so thankful for this forum....for friends I have never met and one that I have......for a soft place to land when I feel like I can't possibly take another breath....for the people that pray for Elmer and I daily....for the ones that send cards....for the ones who leave posts on caringbridge.....for the ones that send me emails...for the ones I can call in the middle of the night when I think I can't take another day...for the ones who made Elmer and I a quilt.....for the ones that didn't participate but wanted to. ...for the ones that post their thoughts and hopes for me on here........for every single person that belongs to what I have come to consider family.

 

This forum is a unique place that has given me so much support. It may not be perfect but it is rock solid when you need it and I will always be grateful. 

[ginnysnowden]

We should acnowledge each other. I have watched and learned soooo many times and never even said thank you. I will not do that any more. Rita we all would miss you so much if you just left please give us another chance.

 

Ginny

[RitaR]

Oddly those who said they were sorry if they were offended, were innocent in the shunning.  O thank you for your comments.. it means a lot.

 

I thank God for the blessings so many of you have been to me and the help I received.

 

I'll drop by now and then.  I'll be using my new Lenni computer. 

 

Jeanne P, would you email or PM me? 

 

Thanks much folks,

 

God Bless,

 

Rita
R

[Liam]

God Bless you Rita!  I hope you stop by more offen than not! You have always been an inspriation!

[Dyan]

I am ALWAYS at a loss for words!!  I value beyond anything all of the information and help that this forum has given me, but out of reading and participating for more than 3 years now I have only posted a little more than 130 times. I have a very hard time writing anything on here and it's not because I feel censored by anyone here, it is totally my problem! So, here is a BIG THANK YOU to Rita and to all of you that post helpful tips and tricks and wonderful pictures! Honestly, I wouldn't have been able to do it without you!

[nanbrug]

Rita I hope you come back.  You have helped me on several occasions and if I ever forgot to say thank you shame on me.  I am one that always seems to get my feelings hurt too and alot of mine is that I'm over sensitive so I am told.  Everyone tells me to get a tougher skin but that's not my personality. Well I sure hope you come back. 

[Sharon M]

I am ALWAYS at a loss for words!!  I value beyond anything all of the information and help that this forum has given me, but out of reading and participating for more than 3 years now I have only posted a little more than 130 times. I have a very hard time writing anything on here and it's not because I feel censored by anyone here, it is totally my problem! So, here is a BIG THANK YOU to Rita and to all of you that post helpful tips and tricks and wonderful pictures! Honestly, I wouldn't have been able to do it without you!

 

Ditto!  I couldn't have said it better myself Dyan.  I'm more of a reader than a poster, and I do miss your posts Rita!  You always made me smile.... please don't stay away for long!